Editorial Review

It has become common knowledge that childhood obesity rates are increasing every year. But the rates continue to rise. And between busy work schedules and the inconvenient truth that kids simply refuse to eat vegetables and other healthy foods, how can average parents ensure their kids are getting the proper nutrition and avoiding bad eating habits?

As a mother of three, Jessica Seinfeld can speak for all parents who struggle to feed their kids right and deal nightly with dinnertime fiascos. As she wages a personal war against sugars, packaged foods, and other nutritional saboteurs, she offers appetizing alternatives for parents who find themselves succumbing to the fastest and easiest (and least healthy) choices available to them. Her modus operandi? Her book is filled with traditional recipes that kids love, except they're stealthily packed with veggies hidden in them so kids don't even know! With the help of a nutritionist and a professional chef, Seinfeld has developed a month's worth of meals for kids of all ages that includes, for example, pureed cauliflower in mac and cheese, and kale in spaghetti and meatballs. She also provides revealing and humorous personal anecdotes, tear–out shopping guides to help parents zoom through the supermarket, and tips on how to deal with the kid that "must have" the latest sugar bomb cereal.

But this book also contains much more than recipes and tips. By solving problems on a practical level for parents, Seinfeld addresses the big picture issues that surround childhood obesity and its long–term (and ruinous) effects on the body. With the help of a prominent nutritionist, her book provides parents with an arsenal of information related to kids' nutrition so parents understand why it's important to throw in a little avocado puree into their quesadillas. She discusses the critical importance of portion size, and the specific elements kids simply must have (as opposed to adults) in order to flourish now and in the future: protein, calcium, vitamins, and Omega 3 and 6 fats.

Jessica Seinfeld's book is practical, easy–to–read, and a godsend for any parent that wants their kids to be healthy for a long time to come.

Reviews

Let's Compare: "Deceptive" Vs. "Sneaky", February 8, 2008
Deceptively Delicious VS.The Sneaky Chef

First of all let me start by saying:
!) I don't have young kids any more BUT
2) I HATE veggies but I know I need to eat more of them, so any system that gets them into me and the grownups in my life: BRAVO!

Yes, I'd recommend BOTH books and here's why. They each have their strong and weak suits.

Pluses:
DECEPTIVELY DELICIOUS has
A) pictures, which is helpful and fun
B) tips and comments by her taste-testers
C) used one type of puree for each recipe
D) is spiral bound so it will lay flat. The whole layout is really nice, just as a cookbook to read!
E) doesn't beat you over the head with the whole nutrition thing

THE SNEAKY CHEF has
A) combination purees, which add a lot of variety and ease into the cooking part
B0 really cute names for the dishes. Makes it easy to remember!
C) isn't afraid to use butter and milk!
D) goes seriously into the nutrition thing. Almost the first half of the book is a prelim and explanation of the whole concept.
E) the recipes seem to taste a bit better!

Minuses:
DD. The recipes are a bit bland. If you're cooking for an adult palate, you need to add more spices. For example her "Chocolate Chip Cupcakes." I suggest substituting milk (even skim) for the water, add an extra T. vanilla and 1-2 teaspoons of cinnamon. One of the veggie purees her recipes call for aren't covered in the "how to prepare puree" part.

SC: Very few pictures. It's not spiral bound but a trip to Office Max can take care of that for you. (Best tip I ever got regarding cookbooks by the way and found it here!) It's a bit "textbook" like. I get the whole nutrition thing already.

I wish both books went into greater detail about the pureeing part. They're pretty good but if you're not a veggie person to begin with, you might not know what is the proper consistency.

I understand that Missy (The Sneaky Chef author) is writing a cookbook for adult with hidden veggies and I hope Jessica will do the same!

Hmmmm..I thought this was going to be easier!, October 16, 2007
I also was so excited for this cookbook to arrive. I immediately rushed to the grocery store to get $50.00 worth of vegetables and other baking ingredients.

My first attempt was the brownies, and my victims were all adults. The look on their faces was priceless. Not so good because of the very weird texture to them.

Next, eggs with cauliflower for my 3 year old. Hmmm, he was wondering whey the eggs that have always been yellow, have now turned white. Add a little cheddar, and bam, they are yellow again.

The blueberry cupakces with cream cheese filling, total disaster. They looked horrible, and tasted even worse. I didn't even attempt to try to get anyone in the house to eat them

Hamburgers....you would have thought I was feeding my husband horse meat. They were NASTY! Very slimy with a funky aftertase.

What I learned is that you don't need this cookbook for recipes. Puree some veggies and slip them in the everyday food you make. Don't go overboard, and chances are your kids won't know the difference!

Nice recipes but lots of prep time, October 20, 2007
After seeing this on Oprah, my child and I decided to buy it. My child is one who actually eats and enjoys vegetables but we were both intrigued by the idea of incorporating extra vegetables into our diets.

The book is well-organized, offers detailed information about both the recipes and the benefits of the major ingredients, and I really like that the tone is not a "lecture" on the benefits of vegetables. She doesn't talk down to the reader but offers lots of helpful suggestions.

I do have one suggestion for busy parents - use organic baby food. I don't have a food processor and I don't have a dedicated block of time to clean, cook and prepare all the purees for the week. For about $.65 (or less) per jar, I can have 1/2 cup of organic winter squash etc. that has already been cleaned, cooked and pureed for me. Plus, it will keep on the shelf until I need it so I can buy extra when they go on sale.

Furthermore, I have started adding the purees to the recipes or boxed mixes I already use. I added 1/2 cup of mixed vegetables to a batch of Pamela's gluten-free brownie mix tonight and it was delicious. There was no noticeable change in texture and we could not taste anything but rich chocolate.

Don't be afraid to experiment :)

This book is the BEST!!!, October 13, 2007
Well let me begin by saying that I am not a professional chef, nor I am an uber-fan of the "Seinfeld" show - so I could care less who the author is. I also had a feeling that anything that deals with food and children and not being 100% honest with kids in this "kid-centered" world we live in would push a few buttons. And it did! I am a married mom of two boys and I am also interested in better health for my family. I do believe in eating fruits and vegetables in their natural state but let's be honest: Who among us eats five servings a day? I saw Ms. Seinfeld on Oprah and thought to myself, Well I have beeing doing the puree thing myself so let's see what she has to say. How are thre recipes? Pretty good, as a matter of fact. Here is what I did to try some of the recipes out:
First, I plugged my Bob Seger CD and got the ball rolling. The Beatles work just as well, the decision is yours. Then I washed my hands, put on my "Lutheran Jello Power" apron and said to myself: "It's Go Time!" I own a Vita-Mix blender which double as a food processor. I own a rice cooker which can be used to stream veggies. If you do not own a food processor or a steamer, do not despair. You can bake a lot of the veggies or put a colander in a shallow pan of boiling water to steam them. You can always invest in a steamer and/or food processor if you want, later. The first recipe I tries was:
CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES: 5 star.They are delicious! The only tweaking I did to the recipe was I pureed the chickpeas before adding them to the batter. I also used brown sugar Splenda rather than regular brown sugar; when done you have a batch of cookies that have 1/2 cup of brown sugar plus protein in them!! There is no white sugar in this recipe and I also used whole wheat flour. Excellent!! I have actually made these twice in a week.
SPAGETTI AND MEATBALLS: 5 stars. My kids are not that into meatballs and they ate them. This was my first attempt at meatballs, ever, and they turned out great. I put the broccoli puree and the sweet potato puree in the spagetti sauce and no one tasted anything different.
CHOCOLATE PUDDING: 5 stars. I put the avocado puree in this and believe it or not my two sons complained that is was "too much chocolate tasting!" The pudding was that good.
MACARONI AND CHEESE: 5 stars. I tried putting the sweet potato puree in with a box mix and there was no taste difference. I mixed the puree withe the milk and you could taste the puree. The kids actually said it tasted better than before!!
FROZEN YOGURT POPS: 5 stars. Very good, very sweet. I do not own popsicle molds so I used those multi-color cups from toddler days (my kids are 8 & 10 yrs old) and although they worked great - I bought popsicle sticks from a craft store - next time I am going to use smaller dixie cups so the portions are smaller.
The recipes are mistake proof as well; I put avocado puree rather than the brocolli puree in pizza sauce to make pizza burgers (Jessica says to label your bags, guess now I know why) but it still tasted good. It actually made them taste a bit sweeter, like I had put banana peppers in the recipe as well.
One error I made was when I was done with the puree was I put all the puree in one large Zip-lock bag. Follow Jessica's advice and use smaller bags so you can pull out just how much you need. I pureed the following veggies the first day: Summer squash, broccoli, cauliflower, beets, carrots, avocados, spinach, zucchini and sweet potatoes. I bought a bag of frozen blueberries. I am little type A but I wanted all the puree to be available so I could try as many recipes as possible. If you want to try a recipe or two but don't own all the equipment (especially a food processor, which if you are going to do this long term you will need) try the sweet potato recipes. You can bake a sweet potato and mash it up with a fork and some water. And one sweet potato goes a very long way. I used three and I have enought puree to feed a day care. For a week. The avocado would be another one to try without all the equipment, as it is easily mashed with a fork and some water. The borcolli and caulifower recipes will require a food processor as they are tougher vegetables to mash, even in a steamed state.
There has been much discussion about another book that was published last spring and "competition" with this book. Well I am no expert but there is no way that this book could have been put together and published in six months. Why can't both books be on the market? I am sure both authors want the same thing: Better diets for us all. I have ordered the other cookbook as well, there is room for both on my shelf.
As for the argument that we are lying to our kids: Big whoop-de-doo. I have eaten more sweet potatoes, brocolli, califlower, carrots, etc. in the past week that I have in the past six months. Do I present veggies in their natural state? Yes. Do my kids always eat them? No. But at least they are presented and I know they are still eating them in the puree. Mealtimes should be about talking and sharing, not arguing over food. My younger son likes to help with cooking and baking and he knows the purees are in there and he could care less, as long as can still eat. I highly recommend this cookbook and as soon as I receive the other cookbook I will write a review of that book as well. This book, to me, is a great teaching tool about nutrition. My kids and I have gone through the recipes together and discussed which ones we want to try. Do my kids eat cake and ice cream? Of course, just not every day. We talk about nutrition in a matter of fact way: These are the things to make your body grow. Period. No arguing, no crying, no bribing. I am sort of like Dragnet that way: "Just the facts, ma'am!"
I also want to edit my review to add that I could not help notice that all the one star and rwo star reviews are very critical of the author's personal life. I sincerely hope that folks can see through such attempts at being critical of the author because she is once divorced and is now married to a celebrity. It is sad that such personal attacks are listed in what should be a simple book review.

Deceptively not so good..., November 15, 2007
Quesadillas- The flavor wasn't too bad if you dipped in Salsa otherwise you can taste the squash and it doesn't come out crip it comes out pretty mushy.
Chicken nuggets- The breading doesn't get very crisp, the breading falls off when cooking and if you use brocolli the nuggest have a green look to them.
Chocolate cake with beats was good. Chick pea chocolate chip cookies were good the first 2 days. After that the chickpeas got so hard you couldn't chew them.
Brownies are spongy.
Grilled cheese you can taste the veggies and it is pretty mushy tasting
Egg Puffs were just gross
French toast isn't too bad, but my kids won't eat it
Chicken soup I didn't care for, but my son's did eat it.

Overall the recipes don't taste that bad, but the texture wasn't that good. I have one son who isn't a fussy eater at all and he wouldn't eat these recipes. Normally he eats anything you give him. Actually I think I made a mistake feeding him food from this cookbook because now he is a fussy eater when he never was before. Now my other son who is always fussy and we can't get him to eat much of anything wouldn't eat these either. He was the reason I bought the book, but he won't have anything to do with the food. He even likes cookies, cakes etc, they are his favorite. He didn't like the cookies. He did eat the cake and that was about it. I would say don't buy it. In fact I think I am going to have to sell my book. It was a waste of money for me.

Brownies Taste Deceptively... Green Waste-ish..., January 3, 2008
My wife picked up this book in the hope of fooling our kids into eating more vegetables. She tried the inexplicable chocolate-spinach brownie, but the recipe failed for the following reasons:

1. The brownie texture was wrong. The surface of the brownie forms a shiny, mucousy layer that looks a bit like Freddie Kruger's skin in the "Nightmare on Elm Street" series.
2. While I had long been of the opinion that nearly anything can be made to taste good as long as it is smothered with enough chocolate, I am sad to find that I have been wrong in this belief. While the brownie looks like it should taste good, it has a strange metallic flavor. My mom thought it tasted like we had put some kind of fruit in it, while I thought it tasted like a tray of brownies that had been stored alongside some rotting vegetables.

The sad thing is that the overall idea is pretty good. Try replacing the spinach with zucchini, which already has a solid track record as a dessert ingredient.

Meanwhile, I'm off to cleanse my palette.

Recipes may work for those with very young children, however..., November 15, 2007
As a dietitian I am always looking for good resources for my clients. I bought this book hoping to find some tasty recipes for both clients and my own family. While I can see how some of these recipes may work for very young, undeveloped palates, they certainly did not work with my children who are 6 yrs and older, nor did my husband and I find them tasty. I have made several recipes over the past few days and the only ones that we found edible were the macaroni and cheese (edible but not well-liked) and the bolognese sauce. The tofu nugget recipe simply did not work and the coffee cake (marshmallows and butternut squash??) was terrible. While the premise of adding pureed vegetables to recipes is logical (and has been done before many times) in some of the recipes it seems that they are added for no reason. The bolognese sauce already has tomatoes, carrots and onions- is pureed sweet potato really neccessary? Additionally, is it in our child's best interest to "hide" healthy food in foods that are traditionally not "healthy" (cookies, cakes, etc) rather than educate them and introduce them to the whole food as part of a normal diet? Once a child is able to distinguish tastes, it is important for them to understand where they are coming from in their natural state so they have some idea of where their food comes from (spinach is not naturally found in chocolate brownies!) The recipes did not make enough to feed a family with big boys (and I do not mean teenagers- 10 yr old boys can eat quite a bit too.) Clearly this is more of a baby through toddler type book of recipes for those just starting off in the food-introduction process! Not food I would serve to adults!

The reviews, the recipes, the nutrition factor and Oprah., October 16, 2007
A couple of thoughts on this book, its reviews, the recipes, the nutrition factor, & Oprah.

- First, re the reviews that are here - it seems that no one can post a negative review without immediately being shot down - this really makes me believe that the reviews are being monitored by interested parties in the book's success - perhaps, publisher, family & friends? If you note the first few reviews of the book, they were all made by members of Jessica's family, so they're here and active.

Second, re the recipes - I've made a few of them, and some work and some don't. The burgers have *way* too much garlic - maybe to overpower the cauliflower? The mashed potatoes are good and, on my own I put some cauliflower puree into some frozen spinach, and I ended up not needing to add any cream to jazz it up - it just worked. So, as a jumping off point, the purees are inspirational to incorporate into your own existing recipes - these recipes on their own, are a little touch and go, but overall the concept is brilliant - even though Jessica cannot be credited with having the idea first, as seen by the description of The Sneaky Chef, published previously.

Re the nutrition factor - this is becoming a sticky point as people bring up the question of why nutritional content was not included, especially considering that the foreward is written by a nutritionist. I think I can guess why - a 1/2 cup of spinach puree in a batch of brownies or 1/2 cup of cauliflower in a pot of mashed potatoes does not go a long way once you divide that up into individual servings. There is no way anyone is getting a full serving of vegetables from this technique, but I tend to be in the camp that thinks more veggies is better than less, even if the more is negligible. And, it may be even less than negligible considering the additional cooking beyond the steaming that is robbing the veggies of their enzymes.

Finally, re Oprah. I watched yesterday as Jerry came on to promote his new Bee Movie, that Oprah happens to be in. I realized this is why she had Jessica on in the first place and say, not the Sneaky Chef. There's definitely a bit of cronyism going on. And, was telling when Oprah groused about the book being number one on the bestseller list that Jerry thanked everone for contributing to "Seinfeld World Media".

All in all, I have no regrets about buying the book, and I'm sure I'll be doing purees from here on out.

So disappointed by these recipes, December 15, 2007
I was so excited when I heard about this book, I ran out and got it, as did a couple of other fellow moms I know. We are all so incredibly disappointed with the recipes. I made the chocolate cake with beets, and it was so disgusting, it didn't taste like anything, I can't imagine anyone liking it, I had to throw almost the whole thing away because no one would eat it. The textures are all wrong, the scrambled eggs with cauliflower are so watery, the chicken nuggets are not crispy, but mushy, and you can see the green specs in them.
It's a great idea, but it's definitely overhyped, I wish these recipes had worked for us but they were a total disappointment. I'm off to EBay my copy.

If you want to hide the veggies, this is a very good cookbook, October 31, 2007
I checked this out of the library and made several of the recipes over the week. My kids are between 12 and 5 and are like most kids when it comes to likes and dislikes of food. The recipes met with mixed reviews, but not because they knew what the ingredients were; I didn't even tell my husband.
For the time and effort I'll stick with what has worked in the past; presenting lots of fruits and vegetables, in all forms, to see what works and what they like.
I have had great success with recipes by Annabel Karmel who focuses on "fun" healthy food and also with Susan Branch's vegetable recipes because they are so simple.
Despite the time involved I'll stick to making radish flowers and celery brooms, low-fat dips and fun shapes with any vegetable that will submit to a cookie cutter (cucumbers, squash and peppers work best).
While many of the recipes are interesting and are worth making, in the end I want my kids to like a vegetable when they see it, not view it as a subversive enemy.
As for the controversy between the two books....it's just stupid. This idea is not a new one (there was a woman on the Today show a couple of years ago who was suggesting we make brownies with mashed up black beans for more fiber) and there will be more that follow. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Babies grow more rapidly in their first year than at any other time in their lives, so how you feed your newborn will be one of the most important decisions you make for your new baby.

Making your own baby food is not only more economical than buying commercial brands, it also assures that your child consumes only the freshest, top-quality ingredients. British television personality and children's nutrition expert Annabel Karmel's essential collection of best-ever purees grants new parents their wish: one hundred quick and easy recipes that will make for a healthy and happy baby. From first tastes and weaning, right through to meals for older babies, all the recipes are suitable for children aged six months and older. And with all these fruit and vegetable favorites, and innovative fish, meat, and chicken purees, the dishes are so tasty you will want to eat them yourself!

In addition to easy and delicious recipes, Top 100 Baby Purees also includes information on:

• Weaning your baby and transitioning to solid foods
• Food allergies
• Time-saving food preparation tips
• Freezing and reheating your homemade baby food
• Tricks on finding the hidden nutrition in everyday foods

Featuring a preface by Dr. Michel Cohen, New York pediatrician and author of The New Basics: A-to-Z Baby & Child Care for the Modern Parent ... Read more

Reviews

Excellent Resource, Wonderful Recipes, But Be Careful, December 29, 2006
I am so glad I bought this book; it agrees with my philosophy about shaping children's palates early, using whole foods, and organic eating in general. The recipes are easy and delicious, and give you ideas for all the way into toddlerhood. I love the inclusion of recipes using meat, fish, and chicken. My daughter has loved everything I have made from this book so far; my husband and I have even eaten a few- with salt and seasoning added for adult taste- and enjoyed them.

I do, however, agree with Lynn W.- USE WISDOM with certain recipes, since the author does not seem to follow the AAP's recommendations about when to introduce certain foods, and seems to lack a current understanding about food allergies in children. There are lots of recipes with cow's milk, tomatoes, and citrus, for example, for very young babies.

Otherwise, I highly recommend this book as an excellent resource.

Not what I was looking for...but I'm still glad I ordered it!, July 3, 2006
My daughter is turning eight months this week. She is not eating textured foods yet or finger foods, but she is getting bored with one-ingredient foods and bland food like just sweet potatoes by themselves, so I'm starting to make her some varied purees with different ingredients and spices. Hence, why I ordered this book!

What I was expecting to find was exactly what the title said...100 puree recipes. Not a book divided into ages with age-appropriate recipes. The first section tells you how to steam and puree vegetables and fruits. Then moves on to 6 month old foods, and then 7-9 month foods and then 9-12 month recipes which aren't even purees. They look more like recipes I would make for my husband and I, not that it's a bad thing at all, because we want her eating what we're eating in a few months!

I'm not returning the book, because some of the recipes look awesome and I can't wait to try them, but it's not what I was looking for at all when I ordered it. It really should be retitled to something other than Top 100 Baby Purees when that's not really what it is.

But the BEST part of this book that is so different than other books is that it has some great puree recipes for chicken and beef and fish, and I haven't been able to find that anywhere else. And the recipes call for onion and garlic, which are two ingredients that my husband cook a lot with, so it's going to be a good cookbook for us. So, three stars for the quality of the book and the ease of the recipes which I can tell already by reading them since I'm an experienced cook, but a two star deduction for the bad title.

Good Book, Great Food, February 1, 2007
I bought this book looking for homemade baby food recipes and got so much more. Besides having lots of tasty recipes for each stage of your baby's development it provides valuable nutritional iformation. Each recipe is easy to follow and easy to make. The best part is that they actually taste good! I usually spend 3-4 hours over 2 days to make enough baby food to last a month. A tip, pick a few recipes that use similar ingredients and as Rachel Ray says, "Use it twice, chop it once."

To make my life easier most recipes are suitable to freeze. I freeze them in 1 ounce ice cube trays (mostly the fruit purees to add to yogurt, cottage cheese, or baby cereal) and in 4 ounce portions (for the more complete meals). Some of my baby's favorites are the Lovely Lentils, Apple-Mango Puree (mixed with plain yogurt), and the Sweet Potato with Spinach and Peas. I love this book and I love knowing my baby is eating healthy, tasty food that I've prepared.

Excellent Book, But Use With Caution, June 26, 2006
This is a great baby cook book. My son liked almost all the meals I made out of the recipes and they even tasted good to me. It is a fine book with colorful pictures which made it fun to read and use.

But it is more a book for babies who are less likely to develop food allergies or negative reactions because of the use of some ingridients like cow's milk, orange juice and various spices. Furthermore, trust your own judgement and that of your doctors' on when to introduce certain foods because the author's opinions do not always comply with the recommendations made by The American Academy of Pediatrics.

If you are free of those concerns, I would highly recommend it to you!

Terrible, April 19, 2009
This book is very, very wrong about a lot of things. I asked my pediatrician about what I could feed my baby and a lot of things in this book he said NO. The time frame is awful. You are not supposed to give babies butter, onions, fish, eggs at 6 months of age. I will not use my book anymore and will get a new one.

EXCELLENT for easy first time moms, April 29, 2008
I am a full time working basically single mom. I thought, "there is no way I can add making baby food to my list of things to do! I am just too busy!!" But as soon as I got this book, I began. And it's been 3 weeks straight of preparing my own home-made food for my 7 month old son....who has LOVED EVERY SINGLE THING.
I made the pears-apple-cinnamon recipe...and took leftovers to work for myself! hehe
It is very easy to follow, great recipes, easy to read through, organized well, and I don't have a single complaint. Thank you Ms. Karmel for giving me the tools to do it myself. :-)

This book proves it's easy to DIY!!, February 8, 2007
I decided to try making my own baby food for my third child and I am SO sad that I waited!! Using recipes in this book I have made all sorts of different foods and he LOVES them. He is 7 months old and today he had broccoli and sweet potato and he couldn't get enough. My other kids never did like broccoli -- still don't.

The fruit purees are so yummy that I have been known to steal a few bites myself. And I love knowing exactly what is going into my little guy's body. These recipes are easy, add alot of variety to their diet, and are simple to understand. I spent two hours yesterday and two hours the day before and now I have a freezer full of little cubes. They are ready to thaw and eat and I have enough to last about six weeks. And I think I spent about $20 on ingredients. With my older kids I would spend that much in a week on the jarred stuff.

Give homemade baby food a try. This book is a great start, and the recipes aren't "out there" like some of the other books. I highly recommend it.

Great book!, August 2, 2007
This book is awesome. A quick word of advice for breastfeeding mothers. If you don't plan on feeding your baby a lot of solid foods until fully weaned do not make a lot of this food at one time. I made 5-6 recipes one day to stock my freezer, one month later I'm going to have to toss out some of it to make room for new foods as she is now 7 mo. old and ready to eat heavier stuff. The Trio of Vegetables recipe is a HIT and she voraciously eats it whenever I put that one in front of her. I love it too as it relieves any constipation she may get while breastfeeding.
I bought this book along with the "Blender Baby Food." Both are great, however this is my favorite as I like being able to see pictures. If you want to make your child's food please note, it IS easy and fun to do...I can't tell you how many people gave me a hard time for wanting to make my own and are now jealous that I don't have to go to the store, nor deal with all those empty jars. Ice cube tray's and ziplock bags are all that are needed to store the food. Highly recommended. You can probably get away with just this book as there are SO many recipes I doubt I'll ever get around to making them before she begins eating the real deal!

Nice book, BUT be careful with some recipes, November 23, 2007
For example, there are recipes with fish and cheese for ages 7-9, while fish are not reccomended for babies until 2 years of age and cheese for babies until 12 months. Then scrambled eggs for ages 9-12 months - babies should not have egg whites until 12 months and the later you introduce them the better. The author might be a good cook, but she definitely doesn't know anything about what are babies NOT supposed to eat to prevent allergies and other problems.

Check with your family doctor or pediatrician first!, July 3, 2009
I recommend checking with your Family Physician or Pediatrician before following the advice in this book. Butter, tomatoes, cow's milk/cheese, and citrus before age 1? Not advised by the American Academy of Pediatrics! Not to mention whole eggs, strawberries, and canned tuna. The bio on the author does not state she has any nutritional education whatsoever. Buyer beware. ... Read more

Editorial Review

"Save me! My child is acting like a brat!"

What parent hasn't thought her child was a brat at one point or another? Whether your child really is a brat, is at risk of becoming one, or is simply trying to grow up in a world filled with temptations and distractions, you'll love this book! It's the ultimate hands-on guide to cultivating character traits that are tried-and-true "bratbusters." Full of no-nonsense, practical "Tips and Scripts," You're Not the Boss of Me offers just the help you need to deal with many of the more challenging behaviors typical of four- to twelve-year-olds. With Betsy Brown Braun's humorous, supportive, and authoritative voice as a guide, navigating some of the most exasperating aspects of these formative years with confidence and laying the groundwork for your child's future just got a whole lot easier!

It's All Here—What to Say and Do to Help Your Child:

• Get Over the Gimmes
• Tell the Truth
• Be Self-Reliant
• Develop Empathy
• Show Gratitude
• Be Respectful
• Take Responsibility
• Be Independent
• Exercise Humor
• and Not Be Spoiled!

Reviews

THE resource, April 22, 2010
I absolutely love this book and have been awaiting the release - well, I have not been disappointed! Betsy's advice in this book is consistent and right-on, as was her guidance from her first book. It's such a pleasure to have books that speak to the current challenges of parenting and give no-nonsense, straight forward advice as well as specific scenarios and scripts. Not only have I continually used her previous book for my personal parenting challenges, but repeatedly recommend it to my clients as well. The same is absolutely true of "You're Not the Boss..." I immediately flipped to the chapter of my current challenge and will at some point devour every page. Once again, I will be using this book for my own guidance and professionally as well. Thank you Betsy - this is just what we all need. I await the next child development stage...

Dr. E.M. Rivera, Psychologist & mother of two.

The best advice......., May 11, 2010
Thanks to Betsy for another book filled with practical, useful, advice. Betsy is amazing because she completely understands and is very knowledgeable about children's development. She has practical expectations for kids depending on their age. This book, as well as her first book, is filled with useful scripts and advice for dealing with all aspects of raising children.......I do not know what I would do without these books! I refer to them all the time! Betsy is sensitive to the emotional needs of children, yet she has realistic expectations for manners and discipline. The perfect combination!

This book is every parent's bible!, May 6, 2010
I love this book! Betsy gives such great advice that is so useful and very insightful! Everything she says is very logical and I find it easy to translate into my family's every day life. Keep on writing Betsy!

Loved it!, April 25, 2010
This book is fantastic and offers very clear and helpful answers to problems that I deal with on a daily basis. All parents should read!! (especially the parents of the kid having a tantrum next door)

Re-Read, Re-Read, Re-Read!, August 19, 2010
This is a keeper, front and center on the bookshelf, to refer to again and again! I learned so much from this book and Betsy on the important things in life: gratitude, self-reliance, independence, respect, empathy, responsibility and the list goes on. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to be a better person, and parent. - Vicky from VickyandJencom

Wonderful!, May 9, 2010
As an elementary school teacher and parent of three children under five years old, I have relied heavily on Betsy's first book, Just Tell Me What to Say. It is easily accessible in my house and classroom, to help with the many questions I have daily regarding my students and my own children! Once again, Betsy Brown Braun, has managed to give incredible guidance to the problems parents (and educators!) face with children nowadays, and has done so in a way that is humorous, thoroughly engaging and realistic. I am still amazed that someone can make me laugh aloud while I gain valuable knowledge on how to be the best parent and teacher I can be! Thank you, Betsy. I will highly recommend this book to all of my personal and professional contacts, and ANYONE trying to raise a "Brat Free"child!

Betsy Brown Braun is a gem!, May 9, 2010
Once again, Betsy Brown Braun, in her newest book, has nailed so many current problems that parents face with their children using humor, common sense and practical advice. But with a twist, since Betsy's personal style feels as if she is talking to you directly. Betsy uncovers subtle yet important nuances of parenting such as voice tone, mirror neurons, eye contact, building empathy, and selfishness, as well as the oh-so-common refrain of childhood: "I'm Bored". I particularly like the way that Betsy provides 'scripts' for parents to follow, thus providing important role models for young parents. In this world of fragmented families, Betsy provides the important voice of the matriarch in our global village, imparting practical advice and support. You will feel as if she is in your living room at times, for the situations that Betsy chooses to highlight in these pages will be familiar to many parents. As a practicing psychologist, I am purchasing several copies of this book to keep on my office resource shelf for my clients!

Great Title That Delivers Much Needed Advice For Parents, May 10, 2010
You're Not the Boss of Me is a terrific, no-nonsense, current parenting resource whose time has come. This book is the kind of book that can be read as issues arise. I love that. The book is laid out beautifully and is very easy to navigate. As the author tells us, it is chock full of great information that can be a bit overwhelming to read at one sitting, so using the book as a reference manual is where it is at its best.

The book covers parenting topics (geared to 4-12 year olds)including: communication, independence, discipline, boredom, honesty, spoiling, and sense of humor, just to name a few. Some of my favorites pieces of wisdom and I'm paraphrasing here: p2. If you think your child does not hear you, think again. p.73 Praise as a technique p.94 Address the behavior NOT the child. p.96 Parents need privacy, too (the whole idea that by a parent demanding privacy themselves, they set a great example for their kids. We forget that sometimes!) P.99 Gossip about your child's good behavior P 145. Leave Your Child Alone This was my absolutely favorite section of the book - a can't miss! I could go on and on! The two appendices at the back of the book are full of little gems, too: Fifty-Two Cures of Affluenza and 100 Ways to Say "Good Job."

This book is a resource that very parent will come to depend on. I anticipate many frayed pages from over-use. A terrific gift for new parents. ... Read more

Editorial Review

On the runway of life, Tim Gunn is the perfect life coach.  You’ve watched him mentor talented designers on the hit television show Project Runway. Now the inimitable Tim Gunn shares his personal secrets for “making it work”—in your career, relationships, and life. Filled with delightfully dishy stories of fashion’s greatest divas, behind-the-scenes glimpses of Runway’s biggest drama queens, and never-before-revealed insights into Tim’s private life, Gunn’s Golden Rules is like no other how-to book you’ve ever read. In the world according to Tim, there are no shortcuts to success. Hard work, creativity, and skill are just the beginning. By following eighteen tried-and-true principles, you can apply Tim’s rules to anything you set your mind to. You’ll learn why Tim frowns on displays of bad behavior, like the vitriolic outburst by Martha Stewart’s daughter about her mother’s name-brand merchandise. You’ll discover the downfalls of divadom as he describes Vogue’s André Leon Talley being hand-fed grapes and Anna Wintour being carried downstairs by her bodyguards. And you’ll get Tim’s view on the backstabbing by one designer on Project Runway and how it brilliantly backfired. Then there are his down-to-earth guidelines for making life better—for yourself and others—in small and large ways, especially in an age that favors comfort over politeness, ease over style. Texting at the dinner table? Wearing shorts to the theater? Not in Tim’s book. Living a well-mannered life of integrity and character is hard work, he admits, but the rewards are many: being a good friend, being glamorous and attractive, and being a success— much like Tim himself! He is never one to mince words. But Tim Gunn is always warm, witty, wise, and wonderfully supportive— just the mentor you need to design a happy, creative, and fulfilling life that will never go out of style. ... Read more

Reviews

Carry On!, September 7, 2010
Tim Gunn, from 'Project Runway' has written a book filled with tidbits of advice about life, love, celebrities, family and how to be your own person. It is an easy, fun book to read. Tim is a man of his word, he gives it to us straight, and tells the truth to whomever is asking. He doesn't play games, and the interesting stories of celebrities may be a seller for this book, but his advice and stories of his life are the real gold.

Tim grew up in Washington, D.C., the son of the ghostwriter for J. Edgar Hoover. The stories he could tell, and he does give us a few. One interesting bit is the day he and his sister were invited to see Vivian Vance in J Edgar Hoover's office. Tim loved Ethel Mertz from 'I Love Lucy' and was ecstatic at the meeting. A lovely lady but upon reflection she had a similarity in looks to Mr Hoover. Could it be that the rumors that Mr Hoover liked to cross dress were true, and Vivian was in reality the lovely J Edgar Hoover? Tim's dad never told any stories from his life with the FBI. His dad died from Alzheimer's disease, and his mother is still alive and driving him crazy in a loving sort of way. Tim knew at a young age he was different. He suffered from a stutter and was picked on. At one time he attempted suicide, and this opened the door to therapy, and that may have been a saving grace for Tim Gunn. Tim moved to New York and started his career in fashion. He was on the faculty of Parsons The New School for Design, and was chair of fashion design at the school from August 2000 to March 2007, after which he joined Liz Claiborne as its Chief Creative Officer.

His most famous role is that of on-air mentor to designers on 'Project Runway', and that role has led to Bravo's Tim Gunn's Guide to Style. He is such a leader of fashion advice and style that he is in great demand. Personally he would prefer to stay at home. He is a loner and loves his life. He had one great love, and that turned out badly. He is not sure that he won't meet someone, but he is happy with his life as it is. He has a sister and a niece, Wallace, whom he adores. The book is filled with amusing incidents with celebrities, e.g Issac Mizrahi and the 'Diva from Vogue', Anna Wintour. He likes Martha Stewart but thinks her daughter is perpetually angry. Tim Gunn believes in being nice to everyone unless someone cuts him off. He offers much good advice and gives examples-one issue that I wholeheartedly agree with is the manner is which we treat waiters and wait staff. To be mean and surly shows off your true personality, and those who under tip are sometimes the worst. The book is divided into chapters, and the heading sets the tone for the chapter. Tim Gunn has led a life of hard work but filled with such a quality of fun and good times. He is well respected and always well dressed. He is a handsome man and has the air and tone of someone who would be such a good friend.

Tim said in a recent interview for the 'Daily Beast' "It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. In the fashion industry and the entertainment industry, there's a class system. I find it offensive. ... If one were to sit with me in a quiet little bistro somewhere, one would get these stories out of me pretty quickly. It's not as though I needed a sodium pentathol and a glass of room-temp gin to do it." His book is the quiet little bistro, and we have heard the stories. The dirt gets all the attention, but Tim Gunn's life and advice is the real book. As Tim Gunn frequently says 'Carry On'.

Highly Recommended. prisrob 09-07-10

Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style (Tim Gunn's Guide to Style)

92Y - Tim Gunn in Conversation with Budd Mishkin (March 11, 2008)

Tim Gunn is The Real Deal, September 10, 2010
Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making It Work is a real jewel. For those of you who have seen Tim Gunn on Project Runaway, on talk shows like Bonnie Hunt or in other venues, his voice comes out strongly in the book. Gunn radiates warmth and a genuine spirit--seemingly an oxymoron in the cut-throat fashion world.

Which just proves that nice guys can finish first--that you need not be nasty, mean or impolite to climb to the top in any profession. With 18 rules, this book shows you how you can succeed in life--while being nice.

Gunn doesn't believe in luck to succeed--he believes in hard work, skill, dedication and creatively. One of his phrases that he uses on Project Runaway in in life is: "Make it work". He says: "You should use what you have on hand to transform your situation." In other words, if you wait until everything is perfect before proceeding, it ain't gonna happen!

He believes in politeness and in being kind to others. This book, he writes, is a "manifesto for kindness, generosity and integrity."

What I like about this book most is that, unlike so many recently published, Gunn emphasizes hard work, perseverance and creatively to reach goals--not magical thinking. Obviously, not all of us will reach the level of success that Gunn has. Bit the book is motivational, fun (the dishing--delightful!) and a guide to good living.

I also like the fact that he tells us that the world owes us nothing. There are far too many people who feel, for whatever reason, that they are entitled. Gunn does NOT like these people....These are usually the same people who are rude to waiters and other people (something Gunn rails against. Yes! I used to wait tables and couldn't stand people who were rude just because.)

Highly recommend.

While this is not a fashion/lifestyle book, you may be interested in it because you are a fan of Tim Gunn. If so, I recommend

Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style. As an interior designer, I would also like to recommend Harmonious Environment to add some style and beauty to your home!


Love the book!

Why I really enjoyed this book, September 10, 2010
As stated in the product summary, this is book is part memoir, part observations about life.

I am not a big TV watcher, but I got hooked on watching Project Runway around 5 years ago. Part of the reason was Tim Gunn. There is something so fundamentally decent and kind about that man, and you cannot help but feel affection towards him.

I am usually a fiction reader, but I picked up this book and started reading it and couldn't put it down. It's not simply clever commentary on fashion and etiquette but also replete with Tim's observations about such subjects as varied as child rearing, schooling, and therapy.

And did I mention it's laugh-out-loud funny? I must've woke my husband up a dozen times with my outbursts. One of the parts that really had me cackling were Tim's descriptions of eating (from foreign foods that have animals that are still alive and crawl off your plate) to the topic of vegetarianism.

If you are a fan of Tim Gunn, I don't have to sell you on this book - you'll probably be interested in reading it. And yes, he does dish on some of the designers as well as the judges. But I do believe that anyone could benefit from reading this - his decency, his honestly, and his integrity shine through every page. For those of you who are familiar with Tim Gunn, and for those of you who aren't, here's just a brief quote from the book that so well catches his wit and personality:

"I hold doors open for women, and I also hold them for men. When I'm at Macy's, I don't let the door slam behind me when I walk through. It has nothing to do with gender. I would hold a door open for anyone.

Would I hold the door for a dog? Okay, may not, because a dog shouldn't be at Macy's."

Recommended.

Golden Rules Never Out of Style, September 10, 2010

I picked up Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Lessons for Making It Work as a gift for a friend who is a big fan of Project Runway, the show on which author Tim Gunn serves as a mentor. I've only seen an episode or two of the show myself, but when I started thumbing through the book before wrapping it up, I ended up sitting down and reading the whole thing. Gunn and his collaborator Ada Calhoun have penned an eminently readable and very entertaining book outlining Gunn's rules for living a life of integrity.

Gunn argues that those rules - working hard, treating others with respect, knowing when to speak up and when to keep your mouth shut, etc. - are not now and never will be out of fashion. Into his rules, Gunn has woven a number of great anecdotes centering around Project Runway and around some well known names in the fashion and entertainment industry, helping to keep the overall tone of the book light and amusing.

Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Lessons for Making It Work isn't the type of book I usually read - fiction is more my thing - but I found it both a lot of fun and nicely inspiring. Even though I wasn't familiar with Gunn before reading this, after finishing, I felt I had come to understand the essence of the man and to admire the manners and methods that guide his life. It was nice to read something from someone with whom I apparently share a good many values and who can eloquently communicate them without sounding the least bit preachy!

Recommended.

Would that I were more like him, September 24, 2010
Tim Gunn is, from start to finish, from his marrow to his crisply pressed blazer, a gentleman of the first order. Here's to a man who sets a higher standard, yet helps us see that we are able to achieve them.

Some interesting parts, but.., November 30, 2010
I loved his first book, and still read it from time to time. This book however was a bit confusing, as a chapter's moral wouldn't necessarily stay on track, he would go off on tangents. It also seemed more like ranting and raving about the rudeness of certain people and even people in general. Which I think could be summed up in one chapter--yet each chapter seemed to end up in the same place as the chapter before, which is that people can be rude and obnoxious and how much better it is to be nice. Sort of like having road rage in print. The sort of things we say to ourselves every day when we come across nasty people. A whole book filled with just this sentiment--it was a bit random and a bit much. I still love Tim Gunn and will surely buy his next book if he writes another. Maybe better editing and more organization to the chapters and a distinct message in each chapter would be better. Still, an entertaining read in many places, with a little juicy gossip tossed in.

Gunn is Fun, September 16, 2010
I downloaded a sample of this book on my Kindle, and had to buy the whole book right away. It's a charming read that's almost like spending an evening with Tim. I didn't buy it to read his golden rules so much as I did just because I like Tim Gunn so darn much and wanted to see what he had to say. I'm glad I did--what an enjoyable read! Even if you care not a whit about fashion, you will like spending time with Tim Gunn.

Made it Work, October 25, 2010
Tim Gunn's new book was enjoyable, funny & really quite good. There was something to learn in every chapter.
i have always found him to be a sweet and gentle man. He made this book work just fine.

Good Manners by Tim., October 4, 2010
Love the Tim Gunn. he is such a nice man, just reading the book made me feel better about myself. Plus, he makes a lot of valid points about behavior and manners.

WWTGD?, September 26, 2010
What Would Tim Gunn Do? You'll know the answer to that after reading this! Tim Gunn has put together a highly readable book that is all at once an autobiography, a plea for better manners, and a gossipy little tell-all that will have you laughing aloud at times. New York fashion icons; Project Runway behind the scenes; popular celebrities; even J. Edgar Hoover get mentioned. But, Tim's own personal story is probably the most compelling reason of all to read the book.

A fun, intelligent, and at times painfully honest book. I wasn't prepared to like it as much as I did. An inspiring read. ... Read more

Editorial Review

In perhaps the most important parenting book of the decade, Dr. Harvey Karp reveals an extraordinary treasure sought by parents for centuries—an automatic “off-switch” for their baby’s crying.

No wonder pediatricians across the country are praising him and thousands of Los Angeles parents, from working moms to superstars like Madonna and Pierce Brosnan, have turned to him to learn the secrets for making babies happy.

Never again will parents have to stand by helpless and frazzled while their poor baby cries and cries.Dr. Karp has found there IS a remedy for colic. “I share with parents techniques known only to the most gifted baby soothers throughout history …and I explain exactly how they work.”

In a innovative and thought-provoking reevaluation of early infancy, Dr. Karp blends modern science and ancient wisdom to prove that newborns are not fully ready for the world when they are born.Through his research and experience, he has developed four basic principles that are crucial for understanding babies as well as improving their sleep and soothing their senses:

The Missing Fourth Trimester: as odd as it may sound, one of the main reasons babies cry is because they are born three months too soon.

The Calming Reflex: the automatic reset switch to stop crying of any baby in the first few months of life.

The 5 “S’s”: the simple steps (swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging and sucking) that trigger the calming reflex.For centuries, parents have tried these methods only to fail because, as with a knee reflex, the calming reflex only works when it is triggered in precisely the right way.Unlike other books that merely list these techniques Dr. Karp teaches parents exactly how to do them, to guide cranky infants to calm and easy babies to serenity in minutes…and help them sleep longer too.

The Cuddle Cure: the perfect mix the 5 “S’s” that can soothe even the most colicky of infants.

In the book, Dr. Karp also explains:

What is colic?

Why do most babies get much more upset in the evening?

How can a parent calm a baby—in mere minutes?

Can babies be spoiled?

When should a parent of a crying baby call the doctor?

How can a parent get their baby to sleep a few hours longer?

Even the most loving moms and dads sometimes feel pushed to the breaking point by their infant’s persistent cries.Coming to the rescue, however, Dr. Karp places in the hands of parents, grandparents, and all childcare givers the tools they need to be able to calm their babies almost as easily as…turning off a light. ... Read more

Reviews

Magic, December 1, 2004
The advice in this book is pure magic. Our baby wasn't colicky but she was Very fussy. Everytime I did what this book suggested - swaddle, jiggle, hold sideways, and shush - she would stop crying instantly. Yes, Instantly. It was like pure magic. Nothing worked before this book. I encourage everyone to buy it, it is a life-saver.

I agree with a previous review, in that it is most helpful the first three months. That's what it's geared towards. The author calls it the fourth trimester and focuses on that. After I started swaddling her (as the author clearly isslustrates how to do) my daughter started sleeping through the night. I no longer need this book because I was able to be so responsive to her needs in the first three months, that she is now secure enough to sleep on her own without being swaddled.

This book is also very well organized. As a matter of fact, you don't even have to read the whole book! He has helpful summaries and bullet points along the way. Just reading one page where he clearly and succinctly summarizes everything can save your life the first three months and get your baby on the road to being a trusting, self-suffient child.

This book did more than just help me soothe my infant. It increased my self-esteem as a parent. I knew that jiggling my baby soothed her. But the horrified looks on people's faces when you start jiggling a baby! Oh my! At least after reading this book it helped me know that it was indeed ok to do what intutively worked.

Also, the author is right - there's no spoling a baby. I "spoiled" my daughter like crazy. And what do I have now? A clingly baby who is addicted to jiggling and swaddling (as many people predicted when I followed the author's advice - "she'll be addicted and you'll have to swaddle her FOREVER!"). No! I have a happy baby who goes to sleep on her own and sleeps through the night. By the way, she's 4 months old. She Never needs to be jiggled anymore, or swaddled. I still put white noise on in the background for her though. But I hear many adults sleep that way too.

This book is also very sensitve and kind to the needs of our precious little babies. He says that the first three months are the fourth trimester. That the baby was in you for nine whole months and got used to there being sound and movement and confinement. And when they're born it's unnatural (and, in my opinion, cruel) to leave them to their own devices and figure out how to be a human being in the world right away. They need our help while they get their bearings. They're so tiny and the world is so big.

As a matter of fact, many book I read suggest not swaddling past the second month, or even past the first month. But the author recommends doing it for as long as the baby needs it. All babies are different and need to take their own time! And not only for as long as the baby needs it, but also as much as the baby needs it. That's right, swaddle the baby as often as the baby wants it. Some books say this hinders development but the author points out that if the baby needs it, it calms the baby down enough for the baby to be a ble to pay attention to the world and learn. My baby wanted to be swaddled for many hours out of every day. I felt guilty becuase so many other resources say not to do that. But this book helped me see that it was only natural. The author asked - doesn't your baby seem happier this way? YES!! She was So much happier when she was swaddled. And this did not make her addicted to it, as I said before - she went from being swaddled most of the day to not being swaddled Ever quickly and effortlessly.

I know this is a long review. I just have to strongly recommend this book. It's usefuleness and help go so much beyond sleeping issues. I love this book. It is the single most useful book I have ever read.

Very good - but only for the first three months., September 6, 2002
This book is an excellent read - having a nice easy style and with some Anthropology thrown in. Be warned, this is not very good for babies over three months. I have a two month old who is fussy, and I found that I already used a lot of these techniques without knowing it! The one thing that has really been helpful so far is swaddling. It seems to help her take naps better. For 3 months and up, look at "The No-Cry Sleep Solution". It is similar to this book in that it uses a common sense approach to getting babies to calm down or sleep. Also, Healthy Sleep, Happy Child" gives a more scientific explanation of baby sleep.

The Happiest Baby on the Block, May 30, 2002
This book saved our lives! Our little girl came home from the hospital wailing and it never stopped. She would cry for hours upon hours and nothing would soothe her--not cuddling, not feedings, not burping, not changings, not my mother-in-law (the baby soother extraordinaire), nothing...until this book!

The horror is finally over--the technique absolutely works every time. The book is well-written, easy to follow and the examples of other parents going through this are so reassuring. I am happy to report that now, at 7 weeks, we have lots of cooing, many smiles, bonding (nearly impossible with a screaming baby) and a lot more sleeping. You can call the author Dr. Karp, but in our house he is reverentially referred to as Saint Harvey--our patron saint of babies. If you have a fussy baby I can not recommend this book enough. It truly works miracles!

If I were the Queen of Everything I would make sure all new parents and hospital nurses learned this method. It could save so many, so much. Thank you Saint Harvey!

The Most Important Purchase for New Parents, July 30, 2002
I have read just about every major book that purports to explain why some babies are fussy and how to calm them. None of them can hold a candle to Dr. Karp's book. Forget about gas and all the other theories -- this book clearly and easily explains what newborns are experiencing. And the best part is the technique for calming that is based on cutting edge medical research. The book's explanation of the "calming reflex" is pretty fascinating, but if you really want to calm your baby, buy the accompanying video with the book. It is an eye-opener! When you see Dr. Karp take a dozen different babies and calm them in a matter of seconds, you finally see what the book can't stress enough -- it's a calming REFLEX, just like swallowing, and anyone can learn how to trigger it. The video is a surefire way to assure yourself that you are mastering the technique. It shows the technique again and again, with helpful tips and trouble-shooting. This is the ticket to new parents' peace of mind.

Good info...but not worth a whole book, June 28, 2010
The thesis in the book is excellent - by understanding a baby's needs and how the first few months are really the "fourth trimester," we can learn to use his five-steps to calming a colicky infant.

The problem isn't that the advice is bad, because it's excellent and very practical. It's that he just repeats and repeats the same points, occasionally slipping in another nugget of useful info. This should be a 10-page handout, not a book. Heck, I probably could paste in enough directions for you to do this in this comment box, thus saving you from buying the whole book.

My advice - check it out from the library or borrow it, because in 20 minutes you'll have figured it out and you you can spend the money on diapers (the need of which cannot be abridged!).

Peace at last!, May 30, 2002
Dr. Karp was a Godsend when we needed him most. His superb advice helped us calm our twin boys and enabled them and us to sleep. Up until reading his book, we had very fussy baby boys who would not sleep for prolonged periods of time. The first time we used the 5 S's, the boys slept 3 hours. Prior to that they would only sleep an hour at most because their gas pains would wake them up. It's obvious that Dr. Karp researched his methods and delivers a succinct method that can help all parents. Out of all the books that I've read, this one has made a significant difference in my childrens' lives and is a MUST HAVE!
Thank you Dr. Karp.

Great for newborns, August 22, 2002
Well, Dr. Karp's methods have worked well on my newborn, and I stress newborn. He presents some interesting facts about other cultures where crying babies are rare and colic doesn't exist. These cultures mostly have their babies at their sides in a sling, and unlimited access to suckle at mother's breast. With baby in a snug sling, constant body contact, the feeling of constant motion and breast milk access, Dr. Karp states this mimcs conditions in the womb: tight fit, constant movement, and lack of hunger from being fed via the umbilical cord while in utero. He goes on to say that months 0-3 of baby's life are the missing "fourth trimester", hence his methods of the following 5 S's work well since they imitate the womb environment.

The 5 S's are as follows:
1. Swaddle - he describes and illustrates an excellent swaddle technique, the tighter, the more womb-like
2. Side / Stomach - laying baby on side or stomach. He reiterates that when laying baby on stomach, baby should NEVER be left unattended. Positioning in this way is most comfortable for baby, when he's on his back, he has the sensation of free-falling, and thus feeling insecure.
3. Shush - baby was used to hearing your blood flow for those 9 months, so a loud shushing will calm baby down. Ever notice how he quiets when you turn on the vacuum? I've used a white noise machine, all the loud shushing got me blue in the face and most nearly passed out!
4. Swinging - rhythmic, jiggling motion. You don't necessarily have to use a swing for this one. He describes the motion as being a very nervous person holding a baby. You use very tiny shaky movements, movements must be tiny, other wise shaking baby with long, hard jerks may result in shaken baby syndrome. This movement imitates the constant movement he felt while in-utero.
5. Suck - sucking on a pacifier, nipple, your finger, etc...

These 5 S's will initiate the calming reflex when done in that order and in the correct way. We've all used those methods to try to calm baby, but we've likely used them as separate entities. Much like the knee-jerk reflex works only when your doctor hits your knee at the exact location, the calming reflex works only when the S's are done in an exact manner. He describes in detail how to do this.

So far it's worked for my daughter. My huge concern is, what happens after she passes her three month mark? Dr. Karp states that after three months, baby will start self-calming and will rely on the 5 S's less and less. Judging by all the "How to Get Your Baby to Calm and to Sleep" books out there, I have my doubts. He does well in calming a newborn, but beyond the newborn stage, he offers very little. He really needs to consider changing the title to "The Happiest Newborn on the Block" to better reflect the content of the book. So if your baby is less than three months, this may work for you, if your baby is older, look elsewhere.

pretty darn happy family, July 31, 2002
Love the book and the skills he teaches. I am a family physician and I agree with Dr. Karp that these skills are not taught in medical school or residency. His wrap (swaddle) is infinitely superior to the one we are generally taght on the wards. It had been frustrating to have very little to offer parents for inconsolable babies who were just fed, burped and diapered- yet they were still crying. Now I will recommend this book.
Some people may be concerned that he advocates a Side/Stomach position for comfort, when the pediatric advice says that babies have to be put to sleep on their backs. However Dr. Karp's recommendation for these comfort positions are for when baby is awake or you are awake with your baby to keep an eye on their face. You wouldn't want to fall asleep with your baby in this position, or put baby down and leave them unattended in one of these positions.
Also some people may be concerned that pacifiers can be used for the Sucking comfort measure. I believe that pacifiers are OK if the baby is breastfeeding well, and if you can hold off until they are one month or so old. One month old is about the age that "colic" often starts anyway. If your baby really likes to suck, and breastfeeding isn't yet well established, you can try your finger. Also, the sucking part often isn't even needed, as the other 4 S's work so well to calm your baby.
Overall, highly recommended. I plan to give it to my other friends when they start their families.

Buy this before the baby is born, November 4, 2006
As other have said this is a very helpful book, especially for the first 6-8 weeks. Good practical tips that work. We ordered it about 3 weeks after our baby was born and wished we'd done it earlier.

Thank you Dr. Karp! This really works!, July 6, 2002
We have a 5 week old that I would consider a pretty good baby. He was sleeping between 2 1/2 and 4 hours between feeds at night but, consistantly fought his nap during the day. We knew he was tired but, he couldn't figure out how to put himself to sleep or back to sleep. My husband and I were really starting to doubt ourselves as parents. We didn't want to fall into the trap of rocking or walking our son to sleep.
I read the parts of Dr. Karp's book that applied to our problems and within one day my husband and I had our baby sleeping during the day after every feeding without more that a minute of tears. Now our baby is waking one time only during the night to eat and then goes right back to sleep. Dr. Karp's 5 S's plan works like magic.
With Dr. Karp's book we helped our son show us he is not just a good baby; he's an angel. ... Read more

Editorial Review

You Can Stop Fighting With Your Children

Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this Twentieth Anniversary Edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based upon feedback they've received over the years.

Their methods of communication-illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action-offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to:

• Cope with your child's negative feelings-frustration, disappointment, anger, etc.

• Express your anger without being hurtful

• Engage your child's willing cooperation

• Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill

• Use alternatives to punishment

• Resolve family conflicts peacefully

Reviews

Not Just Kids! How to talk to Anybody!, March 28, 1998
A therapist recommended this book to me when my son was 4 years old and I was going though a difficult divorce. I read the book and actually photocopied the basic ideas of each chapter and taped them to the refrigerator for easy reference. The ideas are simple and effective. They build self-esteem and keep the avenues of communication open between parent and child. My son is now almost 18, and we still have a terrific relationship. I've been following the practices in this book for 14 years and I can tell you it has made all the difference. Wherever my son goes, I hear from people who tell me how wonderful he is, how well-mannered, pleasant and charming. They all want to know what ever did I do to raise him this way. I tell them about this book. The more I move through life and the business world, however, I am struck how the same techniques enhance communication between adults in all aspects of life. This book should also be listed in the Business/Management section. It says all the same things the high-priced consultants say -- treat people with respect, do not deny their emotions, state the facts (only) and shut up and listen. This book also talks about giving praise and recognition, which makes it another reason to use it in real life, inside the family AND outside in the "real" world.

Alternatives to Yelling, Nagging, Threatening, Criticizing, September 4, 2002
As a preschool teacher and parent, I found this book to be the major influence in forming my communication style with children. In fact, this book has given me the skills to communicate more effectively with everyone... my friends, my husband, my boss, and even my mother-in-law! When I changed my approach in how I spoke to them, they often changed their behavior. The logical, respectful strategies really work! My only criticism is that the format of the chapters does not always fascilitate quick 're-read' referral. For example, when I recently wanted to quickly look up a whining, or biting, or mealtime strategy for three of my preschoolers, I became frustrated and confused as to where in the book I had seen the information. These topics were not listed in the index and I began to flip through the pages trying to find the stories and suggestions that I thought I remembered seeing somewhere. Therefore, I would also like to recommend another wonderful new book with the very same philosophy that is organized differently...for quick use on the spot for very busy parents. THE POCKET PARENT is literally a pocket-sized A-Z guide exclusively written for parents and teacher of preschoolers (2's, 3's, 4's, & 5's). It is loaded with hundreds of easy to find quick-read bullet answers (called 'sanity savers') to 40 common behavior problems of 2- to 5-year-olds. I recommend these two books for every mom and dad with a 2- to 5-year-old. Both books are permissive with feelings, but strict with behavior while preserving the dignity of both parent and child. Both books are full of humor and compassion from authors that have 'been there,' too. For help on the spot as well as long term understanding ...keep both books handy!

An Essential Text Which Belongs on EVERY Parent's Shelf, April 1, 2001
If I could entice every new parent to read just one book, this would be it. Thousands of children's lives have been improved, and in some cases transformed, as a direct result of their parents reading this book and practicing its kid-tested, nonpunitive approaches to discipline. The authors have little time for abstract theorizing, concerning themselves with down to earth practical issues of parenting, using sensitivity, empathy, communication skills, and humor. This book is crammed with invaluable suggestions, techniques and ideas for parents committed to raising great kids without resorting to discredited, harmful, pain-and-fear-based methods of the past.

This book is in its twentieth edition for a reason: these methods WORK. I personally know a mother who formerly used the harsh, punitive methods of James Dobson, only to find that her problems with her daughter became worse and worse over time rather than better. After she read "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk" and put its suggestions into practice, she literally threw Dobson's volume into the trash. And after a year and a half, she told me her relationship with her daughter had improved so much that she'd previously had no idea that it COULD be that good. The fact that the problems she'd been having had vanished now seemed almost an afterthough compared to the deepening of their parent-child bond. Their communication had improved profoundly, opening up previously unguessed levels of richness in their relationship. "She is such a terrific kid," my friend once told me, and with genuine incredulity added, "I can't believe I actually used to HIT her!!"

Another acquaintance of mine, who is raising two great kids using nonpunitive methods of the sort Faber and Mazlish recommend, summarized her entire philosophy in just one sentence: "I don't want obedient children, I want COOPERATIVE children!" I think the great majority of parents, if they thought about it, would realize that this is what they too would prefer. Faber and Mazlish show the way.

This book appears at first glance to be a collection of nonpunitive discipline techniques, but it is actually much more: a whole new way of thinking about the parent-child relationship which transcends the permissiveness vs strictness continuum with an approach to parenting based on neither punishments nor rewards. Authoritarian methods use coercion to make the child lose and the parent win, while total permissiveness makes the parent lose and the child win. Faber and Mazlish's methods, on the other hand, show the way towards families in which everybody wins.

Christopher Dugan

http://www.geocities.com/cddugan/homepage.html

My four children and I are much happier now!, February 1, 2006
My husband bought this book when our oldest child was 10. We realized we weren't communicating well and were frightened that we would lose our relationship altogether when she hit her teenage years. Well, the book was a godsend. The authors basically teach you how to treat your child like a capable and worthy person, when you may be treating them as irresponsible, unimportant, or unlikeable. They first convince you to stop criticizing your children for what they think or feel, and to acknowledge how they might be feeling when they tell things to you. I know this sounds touchy-feely, but acknowledging feelings doesn't mean giving your kids any leeway in their behavior. For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed in our house." or, "He's too young to understand how special those are to you, so how can we keep your things safe?" You let your child know you are paying attention to how they feel, BEFORE you focus on solving the problem.
The second thing they emphasize is to make correcting behavior about the behavior, and not about the child. Instead of "Get your homework! You always forget things!" you just say, "Homework needs to go to school with you."
One thing we had a problem with at first is that the authors do not support time-outs. We had always been big believers in consequences for behavior, and had relatively well-behaved children with the time-out method. Well, we gave it a try, and were amazed. We found that we were fully able to correct our children's behaviors without time-out at all. And in fact, they were happier and less disobedient in general when they weren't constantly being sent away from the family in disgrace. We haven't even been tempted to put anyone in time-out for almost a year. Most surprising, our 3-year-old COMPLETELY stopped throwing tantrums within about two days of our stopping time-outs. It was a dramatic change for a child who had always been a little difficult to handle.
Our oldest was slower to respond (age has a lot to do with it, I think) and we found it much harder to implement changes for her. It was difficult to stop lecturing and blaming her. But we have, and we have a fantastic relationship! Other parents of kids the same age are surprised how well we communicate and how fun and friendly our relationship is. We still have the teen years to get through, but I'm much more confident they will be a success, as we know how to treat her like a capable, loveable, valuable person.
Buy this book. End of story.

A must for all parents, December 9, 1999
I first heard Adele Faber talk at a college near my home when I was pregnant with my first child. Everything she said made such sense! She really struck a chord with me. I immediately went out and bought this book, and read it cover to cover. I parent by the principals of this book, and I'm convinced my child is socially and emotionally happier and healthier because of it. I re-read it at least once a year, and always give it as a gift to new parents. This book is the "holy grail" of parenting, and anyone who influences a child's life, including teachers, babysitters, etc. should read this book.

Good book, but not as thorough as should be, May 22, 2001
I just read this book and -- though it it's right on the money in its attitude towards childrearing -- it doesn't describe the mechanics of how the "listening" and "talking" skills work as well as Thomas Gordon's Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.). P.E.T. has a chapter called How to Listen so Children Will Talk and another called How to Talk so Children Will Listen. I wonder how the autors of this book got away with borrowing the title for their book straight out of some chapters in another (the original P.E.T. was published years before -- the one at stores now is a new edition).

Lest it sound like I'm slamming this book, truth is it's not a bad read at all. But for an in-depth explanation of how these skills can be put to daily use, I'd go for P.E.T. Better yet, read both.

Even better yet, first read Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman to get an idea WHY these skills are so important to a child's development, then follow it up with P.E.T. and this book.

This book works wonders even for kids who can't talk., July 25, 1999
I am a psychologist and mother, with a 6 year old autistic son. I first read this book when he was about 18 months old, and I waited patiently and eagerly for him to begin talking. He didn't... and didn't... and didn't... because one of the hallmarks of autism is a language delay. It would be another 3 years before I really knew what his voice sounded like. Nonetheless, this book was a godsend for us, because, really, it teaches parents how to read and respond to their children's emotions, no matter what modality they use to communicate them. And what my child needed more than anything else was to have someone who could understand how he was feeling, and give words to those feelings, because he could not. "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" gave me the tools to hear him and help him, even though he was not talking.

Now, at age 6, he is talking a lot, reading even more, and is a happy, joyful, confident child, far from the stereotype of his disability. I believe that much of his positive emotion and self-esteem comes from knowing that his feelings are understood and respected, despite the communication barriers we face. Those are gifts I was able to give him because of the strategies I learned from "How to Talk..." We still have a long road to travel, but so does every parent. But rest assured, ALL of Faber and Mazlish's books will be making the journey with us.

I've seen changes for the better so quickly, May 29, 2003
It's only a few weeks and my daughter has responded so positively to this method of parenting.

Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge since it's been such a short time, but I'm just so excited I feel like I found a pot of gold.

It's not like my daughter was such a problem child before. She is almost five. She has been a little on the hyper side since she was born. As she has gotten older it has been getting more and more difficult to get her to cooperate, participate, or communicate at home or in preschool. I was desparate to find something that might reverse the trend before it became a real problem.

Just as one example... It has always been difficult to get her to clean up after herself. She loves to use scissors and she makes a mess with scraps of paper ending up all over the house and in the baby's mouth. Yesterday, I watched as she cut out a circle from a piece of paper. She put the paper with the hole in it on the table and brought the circle to me to look at. After I admired the circle I said "I noticed you put the piece of paper you cut this from on the table. That was very tidy of you." She smiled and ran back to the table. She noticed there were a few pieces of paper on the floor she had dropped previous to this. She picked them up and put them on the table. She's never done that before without me telling her and usually having to repeat myself over and over! She didn't even look back at me to see if I was watching.

In general she seems more relaxed (i.e. not as hyper), happier, and much more confident. I even noticed this morning when I took her to preschool she at once ran over to play with her friends, rather than hanging back shyly and waiting for one of them to come to her like she always has in the past. That was always painful for me to watch. Today, it was so beautiful, I had a lump in my throat.

It's not that I think that my parenting style before this was so terrible. For example I always tried to be understanding before, but this book explained to me that some things I did that I thought were understanding were actually not.

For example, sometimes my daughter doesn't like some clothes in her closet, even if she helped me pick it out. In the past, I'd say sweetly "You don't like it? It's such a pretty dress. You told me you liked it before. That's why I bought it for you. I don't understand. Tell me why don't you like it now?" I thought I was being very undertanding because I would say it in a sweet pleasant voice and give her the opportunity to explain her side to me. But the end result was always that she would become agitated and she wouldn't wear the dress that day and not for a long time until she forgot she told me she didn't like it. Now I say something like "Oh, you've decided you don't like it anymore. Do you remember when you helped me pick it out? You liked it then, but I see you've changed your mind. Well, I still like it. I think it is so pretty. Maybe you'll change your mind again one day and you'll like it again. So I'll just put it back in the closet just in case." Sometimes the very next day she declares to me that she has changed her mind and she wants to wear the dress that day.

Similarly, I always tried to praise whenever I caught her doing something well, but this book has taught me more effective ways to praise and how not to criticize (which I realize only now how much I was doing).

I'm so excited, I went out and bought a few other books that explain this type of parenting, like "Parent Effectiveness Training." I haven't read them yet, but when I do, I'll try to write a review.

True to it's title, September 1, 2001
I thought this book might be about how to use praise and language to avoid facing discipline issues with children but it is not like that at all. It teaches parents to be authorative and send the right messages without micro managing their children. The suggested changes are fairly straight forward and common sense, but may require some practice. Fortunately thare are many well illustrated examples and practical exercises to reinforce these ideas. This book stictly sticks to the topic of comunication and establishing cooperation which makes it an excellent supplement to any parents existing parenting style. Teaches mutual respect without surrendering parental authourity. A very good read.

A real how-to resource, May 7, 2005
As the mother of a 4 year old and trying 3 year old I had reached the absolute boiling point. At night as I replayed the day's events, I realized that all I had done was scold and yell all day. It was exhausting and depressing. I know better than that, but somehow I just couldn't figure out how to 'do' better than that. This book is clearly written and very specific in teaching you ways to interact with your child. You can take statements verbatim from the text and use them in real life. My unbearable younger child has been transformed into a sweet, inquisitive child, and I have been transformed into a tolerant, patient mother who ends each day with a smile.
Perhaps, like me, you're sceptical that any resource (let alone a book) could make such a difference. If you feel as worn down and frustrated as I did when I bought it, what do you have to lose?

* One note about using the book for reference later. There are 6 pages that have reminder notes with subject headers and bullet points. The book suggests that you copy them and put them where you can see them. I actually did this. I refer to these cheat sheets constantly when I'm looking for the right thing to say or a refresher on a particular concept. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Reviews

No Magic, but: Sane, Simple, Quick - with no yelling. Yay!, April 24, 1999
I listened to the tape of this book while I commuted. In less than a week I was ready.

Within 5 minutes our son understood the new 'rules of the game'. Within 2 days we had a more sane house. Yes, really.

The discipline of the old days was 'spank your kid', and many of us reject this. The problem is that there wasn't a replacement that worked. So some parents keep spanking, some parents just yell all day. Either way, it's not a happy feeling of control.

The basics of the 1-2-3 method are simple, kid-understandable, quick-to-implement, & quick to explain. (So you can even get care-takers, teachers, cub-scout leaders in on the game - to have some consistency.) But don't kid yourself - the real value is in understanding all of it.

I don't believe I'm actually writing this but - just try it and you'll be a believer too.

I loved the audio tape especially. In the first few minutes of the tape, the initial '1-2-3 Magic' is revealed. I wanted to start that day. Then examples, tactics for multiple kids and reinforcement follow. All of it is key to recognizing your kid's techniques for handling YOU, and creating the sane environment we all wish for.

OK, life still isn't perfect, but this information goes a very long way to getting you out of the nightmare you might be in.

I've bought copies for my sister, my friends, and my church. Every time I see a screaming parent and a crying kid, (or a nasty, defiant kid), I wish I had the nerve to give them a copy.

No, I don't work for the author, but I sure would like to thank him. ;-)

I wish I had read this book months ago!, August 3, 1999
We had tried everything to try and show our 3 year old son who is in charge. We could'nt go to restaurants (or almost and public place for that matter) without it ending in a meltdown and being bitten, pinched and hit by our son. Even at home if he didn't get his way he would bite/hit/pinch/scream. We agreed not to spank, but found ourselves yelling often. Many days I ended up in tears. My son's preschool teacher recommeded this book. I stayed up almost all night one night reading it, and put it into action. It has changed everything! Not only does the counting method really work (I had sort of used my own counting before, but I wasn't following the "no talking no emotions" rule), but we just feel more in charge and in control, which our son seems to sense and respond to. He is much better behaved all the way around, but if he does have a meltdown it is gone right after "that's two". I can't believe what a difference this has made in my house!

There Is No One Single Magic Trick For Effective, June 12, 2003
Tom Phelan has indeed written a sensible, easy to read, discipline book that clearly explains his 1-2-3
Magic theory designed for parents of tots-gradeschoolers. As a veteran preschool teacher, many of the parents of my own students over the years have found success with Phelan's techniques. However, some conscientious but frustrated moms and dads admitted to me that they found themselves between a rock and a hard place as they reached '2 and 3 quarters', '2 and 7 eighth's', etc ...unable to change the behavior of their sometimes annoying, disrespectful, uncooperative kids. Not to
worry...Although your career as a magician may fall short of your goal, you are not doomed to be labeled an ineffective disciplinarian. It has been my experience, both as a parent and teacher, that there is no one single discipline approach that works every time, for every kid in every family. Although I
totally respect 'the count' in this book, I strongly encourage parents to seek out an assortment of strategies that for whatever reason might be a better fit at a particular moment, in respect to age, personalities and parenting style. If you have young kids (2's, 3's 4's,and 5's) who are literally driving
you towards your wits' end with such things as their bad words, 'I hate you's', hitting, whining, parent deafness, tantrums, lying, 'gimmes', mealtime and bedtime refusals, I suggest checking out "The Pocket Parent", a quick read A-Z guide, loaded with hundreds of fast answers and tips to try. The bullets of information (called 'sanity savers') are written
exclusively for preschool behavior and are based on a solid philosophy that maintains a real sense of concern for the needs and feelings of both children and their parents. I highly recommend both books for a variety of workable discipline options that parents (and preschooler teachers) can choose from while trying to remain sane in the process!

It will seem like magic, May 17, 2004
Part of what makes Phelan's now very well known system work is that, whether one is cooking rice or disciplining children, it's essential to have a method, the simpler the better. All effective methods rely first and foremost on how they guide us away from reactive and emotionally-based behaviors and keep us on the proper path. Note well that Phelan's method requires the parent to understand that "Too Much Talking" and "Too Much Emotion" by the parent will lead to failure. Understanding why this is so is the key to understanding why Phelan's method is so effective.

Usually parents get caught in the trap of explaining or justifying their prerogative. This can be done once: clearly I am the adult, and not only is it my responsibility to guide your development, but, because I have been where you are and understand your situation--mainly frustration at not getting what you want--it is I, not you, who are in a position to make the right decisions. Period. Indeed, this doesn't even have to be said once. Children understand, with or without realizing it, that Mom and Dad know better than they do.

So any sort of "talk" is not only superfluous but may obscure what has happened, namely that the child has done something wrong and the parent wants it stopped. Furthermore, if you talk, the child talks and the lesson is diluted.

Even worse is for the parent to get emotional about disciplining the child. It's your job, do it and don't get worked up about it because discipline is just a technique in the larger socialization process. If you allow yourself to become emotional, you muddy up the waters and detract from the business at hand.

Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic technique works and is easy to learn and implement. If you are an ineffective disciplinarian, this book will literally change your life. My daughter and son-in-law use this method and I can tell you without it they would be foundering about, and their ability to guide my grandsons would be weakened. Never forget however that what children respond to is fairness, even-handedness, and the love that is implicit in a sincere desire to help them become fully realized human beings. Or, as Phelan succinctly puts it: "...children respond because they know Mom or Dad means business." (p. 50)

Just a quick word on this "meaning business." If you say "that's two and a half" and "that's two and three-quarters," you are NOT getting down to business. You are demonstrating that you aren't sure yourself that you are right while proving that you are unreliable. Phelan warns against this all too common parental trap.

Note too that there is no corporal punishment involved in Phelan's method. In today's world of the "professional parent" (as I like to dub my daughter and son-in-law) it is axiomatic that one does not hit or slap a child. But why? Of course violent behavior only begets violent behavior, but more than that, not hitting protects the parent from going too far. Hitting leads to more hitting. But if one never hits to begin with there is no danger of escalation. Only foolish and lazy parents hit their children. Phelan's method is an extension of this wise understanding.

The devil is in the details of parenting, you say? Yes, and in this very well written (the phrase "clear as a bell" definitely applies), you will get the details of how the method is applied in many situations and circumstances. Wondering how to put the child in "time out" at the supermarket? Phelan goes into that. What about the difference between "stop that!" and "do that"? It's one thing to get a child to stop doing something wrong. It's quite another to get the child to actually do something that needs to be done, like clean her room or do her homework. Phelan explains the difference between these two problems and how to deal with them.

Here's a another question: should the child have to apologize for what he did? Phelan warns that "many apologies are really exercises in hypocrisy." (p. 54) The child is forced to apologize for hitting his sister, but he really feels that the apology is just part of the punishment. She hit him first and she deserved it. The fine points of the murky psychology of retaliation must wait for the older child to emerge. Right now, you just stop the hitting, period.

Finally, what to do in public? Phelan devotes an entire chapter to that, and basically he says you have to bite the bullet and realize that the future character of your child is more important than any embarrassment you may experience from "counting" your child in public. Once you let the child know that being in public is no different than being at home, the child will behave. However if you let it be known that you are "vulnerable" when you're out in public, the child will immediately take advantage. Children love to test. They need to test. That's how they figure out their world.

Part of the reason this book is so polished and Phelan's methods so precise is that "over the many years of developing" his program parents have taught him how to handle tricky situations so that he now has it all covered. Also clear is Phelan's understanding of children and their needs, and the obvious affection he has for them. As he says (after you have initially explained that you are going to begin using the 1-2-3 counting method): "Expect the kids to sit there and look at you like you've just gone off your rocker." (p. 68)

Bottom line here is: if you are not aware of Phelan's very effective technique, do yourself and your children a favor and get this book.

Didn't work so well for us, March 30, 2006
I was really excited about this book when I first read it. It worked really well - at first. After a couple of days, the behavior was better and we didn't even have all that many time-outs. After more than a year, though, the enthusiasm for this system of discipline and direction has waned on all sides. My kids weren't responding to the counting as well as they did at first, and, to be perfectly honest, my heart just wasn't in it anymore. I agree with the idea that you shouldn't try to talk with the child about what they're doing wrong while you're trying to stop the behavior. They need to understand that they should stop as soon as Mom or Dad says "stop". However, I also think that there needs to be some sort of discussion at some point about why you wanted them to stop, and this wasn't suggested anywhere in the book. Although we did incorporate this into our discipline routine ourselves, it is something that I think is seriously lacking in this book.

I have several friends who swear by this book, but it just didn't cut it for us. I would recommend trying it out for yourself to see whether it will work for you. If not, "Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay is a great book that incorporates all the things we felt were lacking in this one.

The only thing has worked for this parenting book addict!!!, September 14, 2006
I have read over a dozen parenting books including Playful Parenting, Easy to love, Difficult to Discipline, Picking Your Battles, Kids, Parents and Power Struggles, P.E.T. and Unconditional Parenting just to name a few. This though is the first book parenting book, I've ever reviewed, because it's the only one that has truly helped me.

I've tried every possible approach w/ my 3 1/2 yr old and felt so hopeless that I even entered therapy to try to get at the root of my parenting difficulties. Well what I realized the real problem was that I was reading a lot of parenting books that while were wonderful in their idealistic views, were just not realistic. They were in fact causing me to view my daughter as a "little adult" and in turn making me and her crazy.

Now things are very clear, I have a plan, she knows what to expect. For probably the last 1.5 yrs, I've been in yelling matches with my daughter at least once a day. And after reading this book, I have not yelled at her even once for almost 2 weeks now. I'm enjoying my daughter so much for the first time since she was a baby and she in turn seems much happier and secure now that I am the confident mother she so desparately has been needing all along.

Anyway, if you rather have a straightforward plan that anyone can implement rather than an abstract theory that takes the patience of a saint to stick to, then this book is for you!!

Mixed feelings, April 20, 2007
I really hesitated to write a review about this book because I have such mixed feelings about it. This book was recommended by a very respected friend, who is an excellent and effective parent. So much of what the book says makes sense. I really like that that the author focuses on approaching discipline calmly. He does not condone yelling and spanking. He explains how yelling and spanking in anger will make your child's behavior worse. Also cajoling, begging and arguing with your child is completely ineffective. I agree with all of this completely. He suggests that when you discipline your child you should remain as calm as possible. I have applied this to disciplining my own child and I can attest to the effectiveness of it. I also like that he makes a distinction between stopping undesirable behavior and promoting desirable behavior.

Now for the not so good...This book has a really condescending tone that so many parenting books adopt and it drives me crazy! I think children understand a lot more than people realize. I don't think it's appropriate to never discuss their behavior with them as the book suggests. And frankly, I find counting every single offense to be unrealistic. I understand the concept behind it, but for us it just really doesn't work. Instead we make the request once and when she doesn't comply we will determine appropriate discipline. Sometimes time out is the best answer, but sometimes it isn't. You have to pick your battles.

I think the actual magic of this book is explaining to frustrated parents that they really just need to calm down a bit and use a cool and level head when they are disciplining children. Additionally, the section on rewarding and encouraging good behavior is good. Positive reinforcement is one of the most important components of good discipline and one that is often neglected. For these reasons, I think it's a worthy book. And the counting technique is fine, but it's not the only way.

2 BOOKS WITH PRACTICAL ADVICE THAT WORKS!, November 23, 2005
Tom Phelan presented a discipline program recently to my school district. He was sensible...and funny...so we bought his book.

His advice is practical and well tested. His book sites many specific examples of what our kids do and say and what WE can do differently to change THEIR behavior.

He addresses discipline regarding 2 types of behaviors... "STOP" behavior (like bad words, hitting, whining and disrespectful attitude)and "START" behavior ( like getting the kids to do their homework, chores, clean up, use manners etc.)

He emphasizes that "the Magic" it is not so much the counting of...1, 2, 3 but rather how you choose to say it...in a calm yet athoritative manner so that the child knows the parent means business. He also talked about the importance of discussion outside the heat of the moment with the child either in a one-on-one discussion or a family meeting.

Our 2-way communication with our children now involves more listening to one another and less lecturing. I realized that I had been doing the count all wrong expecting the magic to happen...threatening and screaming the numbers at the top of my lungs finding myself reaching 2 and 3/4...2 and 7/8 and feeling my kids were in total control and that I was a failure with the technique that was working so well for my neighbor.

Listening to Dr. Phelan and reading his book has taught me how to use this method correctly and to my surprise it is actually now working with my 6 and 8 year old. If you have a toddler or preschooler like me, I found many more age appropriate positive discipline strategies in another complementary A-Z guide for parents of 2's, 3's, 4's and 5's...called "The Pocket Parent". Exclusively written only for this challenging 4 year age span, this book is chock full of hundreds of brief, specific bulleted suggestions and examples of handling the behaviors that drive you close to your wits' end! Both books are very compatible in philosophy and are worthy additions to your home library...POCKET PARENT for the little ones and 1,2,3 MAGIC for all ages.

Lots of Sensible Discipline Suggestions to Chose From, December 25, 2004
I really found this book so helpful because it clearly offers a variety of specific strategies to try. We have chosen a few that have worked with our children, both for stopping bad behaviors and starting new behaviors. We now yell and nag much less. It has been hard work to remain consistent with our new approach...not exactly magic. We also recommend the discipline suggestions in "The Pocket Parent", organized as an A-Z guide of challenging toddler and preschool behaviors. Try some of the sensible techniques in these two compatible books that seem to be a good fit for your family.
I'd call the positive change we experienced SANITY rather than MAGIC!!

treat children like lab rats, May 22, 2004
Imagine being very angry at your friend and they in turn say to you as you express yourself.. "that's one"...you continue to express your angry..."that's two"..."that's three...take a five minute time out". I would personally find it very frustrating and thankfully it never happens like this the real world. So why inflict this on your children? By using this system for several years we cut our son off from expressing his feelings constructively. If any anything this system only escalated the power struggle and fueled acrimony in our relationship with our son. This simplistic approach to paretning degrades and demeans the child and the parent, precluding possibility of a positive adult relationship relation with your child as they grow up . I am very sad about what we did following the 123 Magic approach. It's hard to believe this approach has any credence whatsoever. An example of the 123 Magic approach: giving children money every hour they behave in a car keeps them quiet but it also trains them to that they get paid for good behavior(not true in the adult world), puts the focus on parental approval and does not foster the inner discipline teenagers and adults need deal with the challenges of life. The books that have helped us create positive relationships with our children and foster inner discipline include the following: The Parent Handbook & Raising A Responsible Child, Don Dinkmeyer; How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Siblings Without Rivalry, Adele Faber; Kids Are Worth It! Barbara Colorosso, Children: The Challenge, Rudolf Dreikurs; Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, Stephen Covey. Save yourself the mistakes we made; don't buy 123 Magic. We are so proud of our parenting now and so happy with postive family environment we have created with our children, based on the books listed above. ... Read more

Editorial Review

In today’s increasingly complicated world, it’s often difficult for parents to connect with their daughters–and especially so for fathers. In this unique and invaluable guide, Dr. Meg Meeker, a pediatrician with more than twenty years’ experience counseling girls, reveals that a young woman’s relationship with her father is far more important than we’ve ever realized. To become a strong, confident woman, a daughter needs her father’s attention, protection, courage, and wisdom. Dr. Meeker shares the ten secrets every father needs to know in order to strengthen or rebuild bonds with his daughter and shape her life–and his own–for the better. Inside you’ll discover:

• the essential virtues of strong fathers–and how to develop them
• the cues daughters take from their dads on everything from self-respect to drugs, alcohol, and sex
• the truth about ground rules (girls do want them, despite their protests)
• the importance of becoming a hero to your daughter
• the biggest mistake a dad can make–and the ramifications
• the fact that girls actually depend on their dads’ guidance into adulthood
• steps fathers can follow to help daughters avoid disastrous decisions and mistakes
• ways in which a father’s faith–or lack thereof–will influence his daughter
• essential communication strategies for different stages of a girl’s life
• true stories of “prodigal daughters”–and how their fathers helped to bring them back

Dads, you are far more powerful than you think–and if you follow Dr. Meeker’s advice, the rewards will be unmatched.

“Reassuring and challenging . . . a helpful road map for concerned fathers [that] tackles difficult issues.”
–National Review

“A touching, illuminating book that will prove valuable to all of us who are fortunate enough to have been blessed with daughters.”
–Michael Medved, nationally syndicated radio talk-show host, author of Right Turns

“Dr. Meeker’s conclusions are timely, relevant, and often deeply moving. No one interested in what girls experience growing up in our culture today–and the impact that parents, especially fathers, have on the experience–can afford to miss reading this book.”
–Armand M. Nicholi, Jr., M.D., professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School ... Read more

Reviews

A wonderful guide to active fatherhood and your much need participation in your daughter's life, October 30, 2006
As the father of three daughters (and three sons), I had a strong reaction to this book. It is terrific in the way it guides and urges fathers to be active and involved in the lives of their daughters. It doesn't provide a list of detailed actions you must take to have a successful relationship or a healthy child. Instead, it provides ten needs that can best be met by you as her father as she grows into a wonderful woman and makes her own way in the world.

When a father realizes the way her relationship with him and his with her defines so much of how she will define the male-female world in her life, it gives one pause. Daughters need heroes; she learns a lot about love from her father, she can learn important qualities such as humility, faith in God, and standing up for herself. How a father protects and defends her has a big impact on her self-image. The way a father demonstrates practicality and tenacity can provide a great example when hard times inevitably come. And he should be the kind of man he would like his daughter to marry.

Above all, he needs to help her get connected and stay connected with life. Never let her drift into a shell and withdraw from the world. This can't be done by command. It is a participatory experience that requires the father as much as the mother.

This is a fine book with lots of good anecdotes and examples. A great read for anyone still raising daughters and a terrific gift (if given the right way) to a new father of a little girl.

Recommended!

Even if you are already a great Daddy..., May 3, 2007
The more you know; the more you know you don't know.

This is a powerful book for fathers who are already great Dads... It will validate who you are and encourage you to keep doing what you are doing. It will help forge your mind around your absolute responsibilities as the father of a girl and young lady. It will remind you that baby girls, young ladies, and women have only ONE Daddy.

I have read other father/daughter books, including Dr. Leman's book (which I also recommend in another Amazon review). Like all advice, one must temper the input from outside sources. Dr. Leman and Dr. Meeker's books, however, are treasures that you can simply gorge yourself on... without regard to having to sift the psychobabble and tenuous opinions with little research and/or validity.

Dr. Meeker's book, in particular, is superlative from the standpoint of a no-holds barred, in-your-face reality check of the awesome responsibilities associated with being your daughter's Daddy. Whereas Dr. Leman's book was more of a semi-autobiographical and quasi-emotional journey of the Daddy-daughter relationship, Dr. Meeker's book is much more robust, profound, and, in some case, quantitatively advanced.

Best of all, though, Dr. Meeker is a daughter; a former girl; a woman; and a doctor. She has lived the life of a Daddy's girl (not the spoiled type - but, rather, the type who can look back upon her youthful Daddy interactions with fond appreciation). She has also lived the life of a doctor who has talked with, counseled, and commiserated with many, many girls and young ladies... THIS is an insight worth a King's ransom.

This book is very, very special. If you want to understand the touchy-feely side of how a Daddy affects his daughter's life, buy Dr. Leman's book. If you want to cover the full gamut of your superlative responsibility as a Daddy; if you want to delve deep into your daughter's eyes and see what she sees, wants, and needs... buy THIS book.

By the way, I HIGHLY recommend giving this book to both genders, as well as any other adult male who has daughters.

Good book to add to your arsenal - some facts, some opinions., May 29, 2007
I have a three-year-old daughter and thought this would be a good Doctor's guide about raising a daughter. I found it to be interesting and Dr. Meeker makes some geniune points about the psychological make-up of young women and girls (although she is Family M.D. and not a Psychiatrist or Psychologist).

Some of the end tends to get a little preachy about God and the like, which you see coming over the horizon about midway through the book. Nevertheless, if there's one thing we know about people who are religious and those who are not, it's unlikely that a child-rearing book is going to convert you one way or the other; so, if you don't agree, that section won't kill you. I'm living proof.

In my opinion, this is an enjoyable book with some very relatable anecdotes and a lot of food for thought about the oversexualized nature of pop culture and the dangers facing our daughters every day.

As a father who tends to see things left of center in most cases, when it comes to youth (especially our daughters), I couldn't agree more.

The FATHER'S BIBLE to raising a daughter, August 11, 2007
Every father should read this book, not only once, but every year. I have recommended this book to everybody I know with a daughter, and everybody has thanked me for the referral. My children are 3 years old and younger, and I learned a ton. Friends with older children and teenagers told me that everything Dr. Meeker said in the book has come true for their kids as well, once they start paying attention to her advice, following her recommendations, and paying attention to our daughters responses to our actions. Awareness is key, as the book points out.

I think this book gets 6 stars, not only because it's well written, but because of how it changed my life. I think I'm a better person and will be a better father for reading this book. How do you put a value to such knowledge?

Don't think twice, just buy this book. Every chapter is a gem. Fatherhood is underestimated and nobody seems to talk about how important it is. Is it not a manly thing to talk about how important it is to raise and protect your daughter? Look at fatherhood in this way - it is the ONLY job that only YOU can do! You are your daughter's protector and according to the book, her savior. Put your ego aside and admit that no matter what your job, career or profession is, someobody else can do exactly what you do or even better. If you died tomorrow you would be replaced in no time in the workplace. But what about your role in your family, and as a father? That will be a permanent loss. NOBODY can be the father to your daughter, however, except you, so why not read about how to do it right or how to do it better?

Every man in the world will try to hit on, sleep with, or get something from our daughters except us fathers. We're the only men who our little girls may ever be able to truly rely on, that is, if you do what this book tells you to do. Just being a father by title isn't enough! You need to follow the advice from this book, otherwise you will be just another man in the world disappointing their daughters. As the book points out, you can actually do tremendous harm to your daughter if you don't follow the recommendations in this book. That puts a great responsibility on our role. As a professional, I've read hundreds of books and articles about how to do my job, which isn't nearly as important as being a father to my daughters. So, why not start reading about our real "most important job?"

I know this review is a bit over the top, so I disclose that I have no relationship to the author or to the publisher and have nothing to gain for praising the book. I just want every father to be the best that they can be, and that will make every daughter better prepared for the world. I almost never write reviews, but this book is so amazing that I felt I owed it to us fathers out there and to our daughters, hoping to get at least one other person to buy the book.

Stong Fathers, Strong Daughters, September 24, 2006
My husband and I label this book as a "must read" for any daddy raising a daugther! We never realized the impact a father has on setting the course for his daughter's life until reading this book. It heightens the motivation to be that special man in your daughter's eyes. The author had a wonderful way of touching our hearts and opening our eyes to the role played by the father.

Attention, Fathers of daughters!, October 9, 2006
Dr. Meg Meeker has written an important book for fathers in the 21st century. I purchased this book to pass on to a young father that I know and I'm hopeful his family will benefit from it.

As a father of two daughters, I worked hard to perfect the "10 secrets every father should know" that Dr. Meeker writes about in her book. Fathers, it is crucial you understand how important you are to your daughter. Dr. Meeker points out that you are her hero and her first love.

Dr. Meeker says, "Your daughter looks to you for guidance, whether the issue is what instrument or sport to play, what college to attend, or what to do about sex, drinking, and drugs. If she feels close to you, she's much more likely to make good decisions. If she doesn't feel close to you, all bets are off."

I encourage all fathers of daughters to read this book. If you aren't a father of a daughter then buy a copy for someone who is!

Only for dad's who want their daughters to be emotionally stable with high standards, March 15, 2007
I was dumbfounded when I read (the few) negative reviews of this book. It's unbelievable what some people will delude themselves into believing when the truth doesn't fit their agenda. If you're the kind of parent that thinks it's ok to let your 15 year old daughter's boyfriend spend the night with her in her room in your house "because it's safer and at least you know where they are", this book IS NOT for you. You have already made your (and her) bed and you will both have to lie in it and live with the consequences for the rest of your lives.

However, if you cherish and value your daughter's innocence, positive attitude (that they are *all* born with until the world crushes it from them), love of life and bright, happy, healthy smile, this book IS for you. If you want her to grow up emotionally healthy and able to face the pressures that our parents never knew and therefore didn't know how to equip *us* to deal with, read this book, it will tell you how.

This book will give mothers and fathers alike a crystal clear understanding of the emotional consequences (forget the medical consequences) of having sex too early and with too many partners and how to help your daughter stave off pressure. You can ignore and deny the consequences but that will not change the feelings of worthlessnes and yes, downright depression, that your daughter will feel if you, her parents, do not protect her from the onslaught that is our sexually charged society made up of hormonal teen (and pre-teen) boys who believe it is their right to take your daughter's innocence and your daughter's female friends that will tease her and call her a prude and a geek if she doesn't "give it up" to the guy she's been "dating" for a month.

I am a mom and this book taught me so much about my precious girls and how to be a better mom. I taught me so much about my awesome husband and enabled me to understand and appreciate the traits about him that make him so valuable to our girls' healthy development. Things that I sometimes used to get annoyed and angry about that he would do in dealing with issues I now understand and even appreciate. I understand how he deals with things differently from me and why it is not only good but invaluable.

Lastly, it taught me so much about myself. Burdens have been lifted from me that I have carried for years because, not only do I now understand the things I went through as a teen and preteen, but I am now equipped to help my daughter avoid the mental anguish that I experienced (and am still experiencing, so some extent). My parents were great, but our society changed so much and so fast from when they were kids in the 40's and 50's that they had absolutely no clue what they had to equip me with and protect me from, much less how to do it.

If you are a parent (mother OR father) that cares desperately for your daughter and wants to keep her safe, healthy and happy - emotionally and physically - I think you would be hard-pressed to find a better book than this to help you reach those goals.

As for those that think this book is "old-fashioned", I ask you, did we have the problems with teen pregnancy, skyrocketting STD's and teen suicide in the "old-fashion" days? These are the fruits of our "progress".

Sorry this was so long, but this book has had a profound impact on me.

excellent guide, August 24, 2007
This is an excellent book. A guide for fathering girls. It is a little redundant in making points but does illustrate how important certain things are in raising a daughter. Overall, a good book for a father to read if he is serious about raising his daughter to be a well adjusted young lady and about having a loving relationship with his daughter.

Worthy advice for Dads, July 17, 2007
I ordered this book after a friend told me about seeing the author on EWTN, the Catholic TV channel. I have three sons who are fathers of daughters, and considered it might be a good read for them. I read it myself to be sure it wasn't too "religious", or too "anti-feminist", an impression I got from reading the jacket. The strongest aspect of the book is the author's experience as a therapist with young girls, elementary, middle and high school, and college. She repeatedly draws a connection between the depression, eating disorders, and confusion about sex she sees in her clients, and the quality of the girls' relationship with their fathers. I think she makes some really good points about what girls need from their Dads in this hard-to-grow-up-in culture we currently have. She does make a strong case for religious faith in the final chapters, but it didn't seem too "preachy." I have given the book to my oldest son, who has two daughters ages 11 and 6, and am awaiting his reactions.

A must have for current father's; great info for any girl's parent., June 7, 2007
If your daughter is 2, or in my case 16; or if you're considering having kids (and therefore have the possibility of haveing a daughter), this book will lay the framework on what it is your daughter is looking for in a father, a man, and possibly your future son-in law. I'm not saying it will take all of the mystery out of being a Dad to your girl, but it unraveled years of questions I had about being a father, and helped me lay down better boundaries without feeling like I was being unfair. It in no way had me locking up my young teen daughter, but it opened my eyes to what I needed to be looking for, and how to better protect her even from a distance. I'm much more comfortable with my girl, and what I say yes and no to after reading this book. ... Read more

Editorial Review

An indispensable survival manual for guys entering the trenches of fatherhood, Be Prepared is loaded with one-of-a-kind insights, MacGyver-esque tips and tricks, and no-nonsense advice for mastering the first year as a dad.

Finally, a book that teaches men all the things they really need to know about fatherhood...including how to:

• change a baby at a packed sports stadium

• create a decoy drawer full of old wallets, remote controls, and cell phones to throw baby off the scent of your real gear

• stay awake (or at least upright) at work

• babyproof a hotel room in four minutes flat

• construct an emergency diaper out of a towel, a sock, and duct tape

Packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions, and delivered with a wry sense of humor, Be Prepared is the ultimate guide for sleep-deprived, applesauce-covered fathers everywhere. ... Read more

Reviews

Be Prepared, August 13, 2006
At first glance, Be Prepared looks like it might be a joke book. The bright yellow handbook format cover shows a child in a backpack strapped onto a smiling, manly fellow in a lumberjack shirt. Front backpack straps replace the man's suspenders, baby bottle, rattles and other toys are at his waist, toolbelt style, and a pacifier dangles from a strap in his fingers. It captures attention.

Likewise, the inside of the book captures attention with well designed layout and graphics. Readers recognize the content, presented with abundant wit and style, is playful but not a joke. This is a creative, purposeful production with solid, helpful information delivered in fun, maybe over-the-top, masculine terms, but quite real.

With useful, pithy information in easily assimilated chunks, and a fun filled, `can-do/here's how', unsentimental attitude, this nuts-and- bolts manual attracts expectant and new dads the way their beloved Worst-Case Scenario books used to, but with more usable material that really will help prepare them for parenting, appreciate their baby, and boost their confidence. Dads who know how to care for their infants are more likely to participate in care and strengthen parent-child attachment from the start. This interesting book imparts the preparatory knowledge well indeed.

It is organized in five general sections by age, from newborn to one year, with basic information about normal development and needs, and appropriate fatherly responsibilities and skills. Mindful, entertaining, diagrammed instructions for hundreds of such necessities as diapering, stimulating, soothing, bathing, swaddling, burping, reading Sports Illustrated with the baby, and recognizing types of crying, are laid out with humor and a decidedly masculine slant:

" Place one of your large outdoor trash cans under the window of the baby's room . (If you live in the city, you can hang a bag from the rail of your fire escape.) Each time you get a dirty diaper, simply open the window and throw down a long range jumper; Once a day, you can go out and collect the air balls, but don't be surprised how fast you'll get the rhythm down. . . "

" . . Studies have shown that the most effective rocking mimics the mother's walking pattern, which is approximately sixty rocks a minute. . . try reggae music. The beat is solid and steady, and it's got a natural buoyancy that will complement your rocking. And best of all, most reggae music cycles at around sixty to seventy beats per minute, tailor-made to your baby's needs. (Bob Marley's Buffalo Soldier is almost a perfect sixty b.p.m.."

WIthout being simplistic, this creative book actually will help dads get their parenting rhythm down, and will appeal to many men who otherwise would not read a book for new fathers. It's a good start.

Authors Greenberg, a comedian, and Hayden,an illustrator/graphic designer, are parents of a daughter.

Fun, informative, and easy to read, November 27, 2006
We just had our first baby last week. I picked this book up a couple of days ago and have been reading in short burst (as the book was designed for) with a book in one hand and a sleeping baby in the other.

The content is fun; engaging to read for both parents. It also does a great job of zoning in on the "important" stuff that new dads want to know, rather than hundreds of pages that are great info, but simply would never get read by most new parents during their haze of sleep deprevation.

5 well deserved stars.

A new dad's breath of fresh air., April 24, 2007
This book isn't meant to be the be-all, end-all of new parent books, but if you're a new dad and are a bit overwhelmed by a) fatherhood and b) all the BOOKS about parenting, this is a great book to get. It's got great retro artwork, a loose style, a sense of humor (something you don't see much in parenting books), and (mostly) very sound advice and information, from what your brand new baby will REALLY look like to how to keep your almost-one-year-old entertained on an airplane....

My kid just turned a year old and I implemented many of the bits of advice I found in this book. It was well supplemented by "The New Father" and by "What's Going on in There?", making a trio of books that runs the gamut from theory to practice, from micro to macro. This book ended up as a well-thumbed bathroom reader after I finished it.

By the way, the website for this book has some activities: listen to the sound of a baby crying for several minutes (to help you acclimate if, perhaps, you're still "expecting"), dad exercises and more.

If You Buy Any Book, Buy This One, April 6, 2005
All the other reviews have pretty much covered it -- this book is hilarious, kitschy, easy to read, and so incredibly practical. My husband loves it, and it's great for moms, too. This book just gets right down to the meat of the matter -- how to care for a baby, how to solve problems, how to be a supportive partner.

Baby-rific!, May 11, 2004
I love this book! It's hilarious, and at the same time, unbelievably helpful. It captures a new dad's state of mind perfectly.

There are illustrations everywhere, on how to do everything, like swaddling, burping, and babyproofing, and all these inventive ways to soothe a screaming baby, and how to keep yourself awake at work.

I read a couple of other books for new dads, and my eyes started to glaze over. But this book was so much fun that I couldn't put it down.

An added bonus: some pages in the book point you to a companion website where you can download audio files and video files and other helpful documents.

Highly recommended!

Best Book for Dads, March 2, 2006
It has humor and really great information. If your Guy won't read any other book, at the very least get him this one. I have bought it for 3 of my buddies, and they have all loved it.

Cheers,
Computer Dude.

If you want to keep your sanity..., January 27, 2006
Or at least laugh while you're losing it, this is the book for you. My wife had picked me up several parenting books, and they all had a tone that dad was an ignoramus that needed serious help. All were pretty dry to boot. I picked up this book while we were shopping for baby furniture. Thank goodness I did, because my wife had to be induced, and our daughter came a month early. I was terrified, but this book helped me get through. It has some great common sense suggestions, and manages to make you laugh through it (no small feat when you haven't slept in 3 days). I liked it so much that I went out and bought copies for 3 other guys I know who are either new or expectant dads. Much like the Boy Scout manual for scouts, this book should be at dad's side at all times. The only, minor, complaint I have is the topics tend to skip around a bit. Not bad, and it probably helps keep it light, as you don't get 15 pages on diapers all at once.

Not just the best book for new dads..., March 5, 2005
I'm a new mother, fully equipped with the requisite stack of new-mother books. And you know what? I've gotten more useful information out of this one book of my husband's than any of those. In between the duct-tape diapers and taking the baby to happy hour, there's a lot of good common sense here.

Plus, unlike the "humorous" books targeted toward women, this one is actually funny.

A MUST for New Dads!!!, May 18, 2004
Have you ever seen the shocked look on the face of a new father? Seen him struggle to manage the new tasks facing him? Run out and buy Be Prepared as soon as you can. I have given this book to 3 new fathers this week and they have been delighted to receive a book written JUST FOR THEM! I have even witnessed a wife trying to wrestle the book from her husband. Be Prepared is both informative and funny. A great read for both new and 'old' dads. The learning never stops!

Good, Fun Book for Beginnner Dads, September 21, 2006
This book is a great starting place if you are like me and are a first time Dad with absolutely zero experience dealing with babies. It presents really useful information and tidbits in an entertaining format for guys. The illustrations are quite amusing as well. Who knew that Bob Marley's 'Buffalo Solider' has a perfectly soothing rhythym that matches the baby's heartbeat and helps them relax? It is also contains tidbits on how to leverage your bundle of joy psychologically on others - catching relief at work etc. Things that guys need to know that they would never learn from your typical baby books. I particularly like the bit on how to powernap to minimize fatigue.

If you are a guy and are clueless, take a crack at this book. If nothing else, you will be amused and I am willing to bet you will pick up ideas (and retain them) much faster than you would reading a library of your run-of-the mill baby books. I'm passing it on to my buds when they get their first crack at being dads. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Bringing Up Boys by parenting expert and best-selling author Dr. James Dobson was, and continues to be, a runaway hit, selling more than 2 million copies to date. Now, Dr. Dobson presents his highly anticipated companion book: Bringing Up Girls. Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson’s trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life. ... Read more

Reviews

Bringing Up Girls Review, May 17, 2010

Several years ago I read Dr. Dobson's book Bringing Up Boys. As the mother of a boy and the wife of a man who used to be a boy, I was thrilled to learn what made them tick. So, I was very excited to have the chance to review Bringing Up Girls through the Tyndale Blag Network!


Dr. Dobson, in Bringing up Girls, first relates the physiological and psychological differences between boys and girls answering the question: What makes girls unique? Everything he writes is well backed up with current research. He goes on to talk about the importance of mothers and then fathers in a girl's life. He broaches some discussion of discipline. He looks at modesty and why this is such an issue with girls today. He sites research related to our current culture and technological trends that affect girls particularly. He attempts to give parents a better understanding of why their little girls (and big girls) are the way they are are and to equip parents to raise these girls to be the young women God wants them to be.


I was very impressed with Bringing Up Girls (as I was with Bringing up Boys). I find the physiological differences between boys and girls very interesting- especially as our culture has tried for so long to tell us boys and girls really aren't all that different. I think Dr. Dobson does an excellent job of bringing in a wide array of statistical research as well as writings form other learned people on the topic. He also provides real life interviews with girls and parents to give practical examples.


Dr. Dobson is very opinionated about such issues as stay-at-home moms, abstinence, and modesty. Some readers may not appreciate this "political incorrectness", but , as I happen to agree with most of what he says, I do appreciate his candidness. I also appreciate the fact that he is willing to be counter-cultural to address some of these important truths that parents need to know.


I will definitely recommend Bringing Up Girls and plan to pass my copy on to other moms who are raising these young woman of the future.

Tyndale House Publishers has provided me a free copy of this book for review purposes.

Not as good as I thought it would be, May 24, 2010
I'm a big fan of Dr. Dobson's, so I had high hopes for this book. Unfortunately, I was left disappointed. It seemed that there was little practical advice. Instead, there were pages upon pages of warning about how depraved our culture has become and how toxic it is to girls. It was filled with discouraging statistics. There is a place for such warnings and such statistics, but I thought that this book focused on them without providing the counterbalance--the advice of how to help our daughters grow strong and healthy, avoiding becoming one of those statistics. Despite this, there were a few gems in the book. The one that stands out the most for me was the early emphasis on the role of the father--too many fathers do not realize how important they are in their daughters' lives, right from the beginning. The early part of this book did a good job in pointing that out. After those couple of chapters, however, it was all negatives and no advice for how to avoid them. I hoped for better from Dr. Dobson.

Yay! I'm the First Review, April 22, 2010
Upon awaiting anxiously for a couple of years for this much anticipated book, I'd have to give it a very high rating! Similar to Dobson's book, Bringing Up Boys, this book offers outstanding advice based on the current culture in raising up daughters.

Whoever said that boys and girls were the same was wrong. Scientifically, Dobson has shown the difference of the two genders. They are wired so differently. In a culture where we are self-obsessed, girls are growing up at a young age feeling "fat" and insecure. Girls as young as nine are dieting. Sixty percent of girls at age 15 will have eating disorders. So what's a parent to do?

Thankfully, we have the guidance of people like Dobson who has thoroughly analyzed the female gender and has given us great perspective on what to do. There has been insurmountable evidence that points to the importance of fathers in a daughter's life. There are chapters devoted to both mothers and fathers in this book.

I like the examples from families like the Wilsons who started the Father-Daugther Purity Ball. Included in the book is an interview from them and how they raised their seven children. Knowing one of them personally, I can tell you that their emphasis on purity in their daughter's lives has truly made a difference.

There is a chapter on bullies and buddies. From the news, we hear of more incidents where girls have been harmed or have even committed suicide because of bullies. As I think back on my youth, I was also harmed by bullies who made for a difficult teenage experience. Dobson stresses the importance of parents talking with their teenagers about these issues.

What I also enjoyed was the questions and answers sections in this book. Real parents sent in their questions with common themes and Dobson answers them with great advice.

My advice to all parents of girls is to pick up a copy of this book! It would probably be better to own it then check it out at the library. That way you can refer to it from time to time! I am so happy that I waited for this book and could receive it so quickly! It'll be worth your money spent! Thank you, Dobson, for another great book!

Disappointed..., September 2, 2010
I was so looking forward to reading this book. I have not yet read Bringing Up Boys (because up until 7 months ago, I didn't have a boy) so I'm not sure how the two books compare, but I had heard great things about it from friends. I found Bringing Up Girls to be filled with all the reasons WHY we need to "shape the next generation of women," but it seemed ultimately lacking in the HOW department. The statistics, studies, and trends Dr. Dobson relays are certainly alarming, but I was already aware of most of them (as I would think many Christian parents who are striving to rear their daughters as modest, polite young women would be)...that's why I bought the book. Unfortunately, I didn't find the "advice and encouragement" I was hoping for.

well worth your money, September 13, 2010
Dobson knows his stuff -- this is the book if you have a young girl and want to understand why she is the way she is, what she is confronted with everyday and how to help her. On reviewer said the information was depressing -- unfortunately, it's the truth. But I would rather know what is going on and be equipped to help my daughter than to stick my head in the sand. Dr. Dobson doesn't pull any punches, and this book is full of helpful information. Definitely well worth the money.

Beneficial, especially for fathers, August 31, 2010
The challenge of raising children is as old as humanity, and this challenge is acutely felt as we begin the twenty-first century. While there are many challenges and issues with raising children of both genders, boys and girls remain very different creatures with different biology, strengths, and weaknesses.

Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family fame has, after three years of work, completed Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women. As the subtitle suggests, the book is designed to provide information and advice for handling all kinds of issues relating to the raising of young girls.

Dobson begins with birth and proceeds through various issues all the way through the teenage years. At times he delves into the science of girls and maturity-- the physiological, hormonal, psychological, and physical matters behind femininity and how girls mature. At other times he provides transcripts of interviews he held with various people both about raising girls and with the girls themselves about their experiences as children. Other chapters represent questions and answers about miscellaneous subjects relating to raising girls.

Dobson's primary focuses are the challenges of raising girls in a feminist and sex-saturated society and the role of fathers in the healthy development of girls. Many chapters are devoted to both of these focuses. Relationships with mothers are pretty much accepted as a given; Dobson also discusses matters of being ladylike, childcare, handling puberty and the desire for relationships, the challenges of bullying and matters of self-esteem, and the plagues of young women-- self-image difficulties, sexual conduct, drug use, cutting, and the like.

There is very little that is earth-shattering in the book but most of the advice has merit. Most of Dobson's warnings are worth heeding-- it is important that girls are raised to have proper respect for themselves, properly handling intimacy, and equipped to handle the challenges and temptations of modern life. The scientific background is very illuminating, especially for the men who generally have very little understanding of the hormones working underneath the surface of the women in their lives. Fathers especially should well consider what is written about the importance of his role in the empowerment of his daughter(s). Both parents should consider the role of peer and societal influence in their daughter(s), and the impact that childcare and the modern rat race has on children in general.

While I can understand Dobson's emphases on the depravity of culture, he often becomes too sensationalistic and proves willing to stretch the truth at times in order to achieve maximum effect. Yes, the influence of the 1960s and the 1970s have led to many societal challenges, especially as they relate to the roles of the two genders and sexual conduct. But, as Ecclesiastes 7:10 indicates, it is not as if the former days were really better. They were different. I noticed with interest how Dobson lamented how fewer than half of Americans believed premarital sex was sinful, but passed over the fact that three-quarters believed racism was. While it is no doubt true that more people in the 1950s would agree that premarital sex was sinful than do now, would three-quarters have admitted that racism was sinful then? Other "conclusions" of Dobson will not square with the experiences of many, especially in his connections regarding sexual misconduct and other consequences. I would hate to see people write Dobson off for the times when he stretches the truth and thus discredit many of the valuable warnings he does provide. He also provides enthusiastic support for the "purity ball" concept, which I personally find rather off-putting. We cannot condemn dancing as lascivious and be known in society as condemning dancing as lascivious and then promote a dance between fathers and daughters without wondering why people find it creepy. One can achieve the merits of the "purity ball" without the dancing and the facade.

On the whole, however, parents of girls, especially fathers, will benefit greatly from considering Dobson's advice. The book is worth having and reading!

ELDV

*received as part of an early reviewer program.

Good advice, especially for parents of teens, July 4, 2010
When my daughter was approaching toddler-hood I asked around about good discipline books I could use with her. The book that was recommend to me the most was The Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. I'm ashamed to say I actually haven't read that book yet, but was super excited to read and review Bringing Up Girls when I was offered the chance from the Tyndale House Publishers.

I liked the book and thought it was full of good, useful information. It's definitely not one you can sit down and read through in one sitting, however! It took me several weeks to get through, reading and digesting a little bit at a time. I did feel that I couldn't apply a whole lot of the information to my life right now, as pretty much the only chapters devoted to early childhood mostly just focused on the importance of bonding and staying at home with your daughter-both of which I already know about and do.

It seemed to me that the majority of the book was geared towards Dads and parents of teens and girls who are about to go through puberty, and I would mostly recommend the book to people in those stages of life. I plan on keeping the book to refer back to once my daughter reaches that stage, I'm sure it will be here before I'm ready!

Lot to Love. Lot to Be Concerned About., June 9, 2010


He sold something like 4 gagillion books, but this is the first James Dobson book I have ever read. Bringing Up Girls is probably exactly what I was expecting, and maybe more so in some ways. Let me summarize my reading in two points.

First, this is an excellent book and treatment of the topic of girls. Over and over again, I found myself needing to be reminded, reassured and encouraged by the things that were being taught. The science, the research, the surveys, the interviews were full and informative, probing and insightful. This book's style changes rapidly from instruction, to interview, to transcript, to science and back repeatedly. This kept the pace going for me, and I was encouraged throughout. It was full of important things that I need to be readying-and steadying-myself for. I believe that parents of girls need to be reading books like this, in heaps.

Secondly, this book was exceptionally discouraging. There was a lot of doom-and-gloom-speak pointing to the realities of what the modern, current American girl looks like on the inside and outside. That wasn't big news though. The highly disappointing thing is that Dobson gave almost no hope to the dilemma. It's not that he didn't have solutions, but his solutions were advice-oriented. The glorious Gospel of grace was almost entirely missing. There was a little bit of Bible-speak in the last chapter (The Last Word), but it really should have been used in heaps to offset the misery that a portion of the chapters spoke to. It should have been used liberally throughout to be the harbinger of hope.

Dobson takes lots of opportunities to sit down and talk-it-out with kids on rough matters. He consoles them with soft speech, polished words and affirmations of their value. This direction is an immense disservice to them and the readers, though they may feel better...and more books will be sold. Dobson teaches very specifically that satisfaction begins with self-worth/self-esteem. This is not the Gospel. This is another Gospel.

Dr. Dobson has done the world a lot of good over the years, I'm sure. But speaking only from the reading of this book, his approach is psychological (as he was trained) almost to the exemption of the biblical. That's not where I am headed or want my baby girl to head.

There is stuff to learn, and I am thankful for the opportunity Tyndale afforded me to review this book. I would read more Dobson and take the encouragements I receive, but I would be/will be wary. Because my focus isn't first on my family.

Some good, some moralistic, some depressing, October 4, 2010
When it comes to family psychology, there is perhaps no other name more well known among conservative evangelicals than Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family. Ten years after publishing his popular book on parenting boys, Dobson has penned the companion book, Bringing Up Girls. In it, Dobson offers advice and insight from a clearly conservative viewpoint. Speaking mainly to fathers, Dobson addresses issues such as femininity, beauty, sex, bullying, education and purity. Much of the book addresses the physiological and psychological make up of "the fairer sex."

The chapters that I appreciated the most were, oddly enough, the ones in which Dobson does relatively little talking. One such chapter is devoted to young women talking about the things they remember - whether good or bad - about the fathers. Reading about the profound impact of even the smallest things that their fathers had done impressed on me the importance of fathers in the lives of their daughters. It is to this point that Dobson returns continually throughout the book and with good reason. He quotes many statistical studies that emphasis the importance of fathers.

Another such chapter that was helpful and very practical was the contribution by Bob Waliszewski, director of Focus on the Family's Plugged In department in which he offers advice on "protecting your daughter from invasive technology." He encourages parents to be involved in and aware of the media activity that their daughters are involved in (including but certainly not limited to the Internet). He lists "Ten practical steps every parent should take" in how to "train up your daughter to plot a safe course through today's entertainment and technological land mines." These steps include "teach the WWJD [what would Jesus do?] principle," "instill media-related biblical principles," "model it", "develop a written family media covenant," and encouraging accountability with a friend.

While most of the book was somewhat informative on the psychological level, I found it to be lacking in practicality. Additionally, Dobson's conservatism constantly came across as overblown hype, decrying the decadent culture in which we live. While our modern culture is most assuredly headed in the wrong direction, it seems that Dobson can't help but highlight the most discouraging and depressing aspects of it, even while attempting to point out "the good news." He often seems to go overboard in denouncing things that aren't necessarily wrong, but that he simply doesn't like.

Lastly, it should be pointed out that while Dobson dedicates his last chapter to teaching the gospel and Scriptures, this addition seems almost like an afterthought or just an extra safeguard to help parents. The emphasis of the power of the gospel in all our lives including parenting is missing, but I'm not sure whether I should have expected more in this area from Dobson. This book should not be read as coming from the standpoint of Scripture, but rather from the standpoint of moral and social conservativism.

While the book has some merits to it especially for dads, I feel like there are other books that are more worthwhile to read on this subject.

(Thanks to Tyndale House Publishers for providing a review copy of this book.)

Excellent Book, July 13, 2010
A fabulous book for parents who want to raise their girls to be women of strong character with rock-solid moral principles. Full of advice about navigating the negative cultural messages our daughters are inundated with constantly, and it offers some real encouragement to those going through the crazy pre-teen and teen years. [WOMEN BEWARE: I thought this book would be all about my daughter and was caught off guard by how much it made me examine my own relationship with my father. It highlights the powerful influence (positive or negative) that dads have on their daughters.]
Being a female, I didn't think I would find it as informative as Bringing Up Boys, but I really learned a lot. I have already recommended this to a number of friends. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Brought thoroughly up-to-date-with the latest information on everything from diapering to daycare, from midwifery to hospital "birthing rooms," from postpartum nutrition to infant development-THE BABY BOOK remains the one must-have resource for today's new parents.

In this perennially bestselling and encyclopedic guide, Dr. Bill and Martha Sears draw from their vast experience both as medical professionals and as parents to provide authoritative, comprehensive information on virtually every aspect of infant care. THE BABY BOOK focuses on the essential needs of babies-eating, sleeping, development, health, and comfort-as it addresses the questions of greatest concern to parents today. ... Read more

Reviews

Parent by their principles, not all the details, June 28, 2004
I'm a full-time working mom of a 2.5 year old, incredible boy.
Initially when I read Sears my reaction was that to be a good parent I would have to quit working, spend my whole day breastfeeding and wearing my baby and never get a solid's night sleep again. (And, I've have to grind my own wheat, grow my organic vegetables and move to an unpolluted island...well, not quite, but that seemed to be the general drift.)

But, what the Sear's approach or Attachment Parenting approach to me comes down to this:

Know your baby.
Respond to your baby's cues.

Understand that your baby isn't a mini-adult who just happens to live in a diaper. Understand that your child comes with his own personality and developmental timetable. Understand that when he cries he needs you. Understand that cuddling, holding, touching your baby is good for him and is not "spoiling" him. Understand that being given a brand new soul to nurture can be exhausting, but that everything you do which demonstrates empathy will come back to you 10 fold in the bond you will have with your child.

I do wish that the AP "movement" was less associated with "crunchy granola" types of parents. AP (and the Sears as the best known proponents) is really doing what comes naturally: We are hardwired to pick up our babies and care for them when they cry. We are hardwired to feel the intense desire to protect them from discomfort. This isn't a "movement" this is how we are made, and Mother (and Father) Nature are brillant!

An EXCELLENT book..., January 10, 2000
My wife and I have used this book as a reference over and over again and I am always amazed at the relevance of the Sears' advice. But rather than go into specifics about the book's virtues (plenty of people have done that below), I would just like to comment on some of the negative criticism that other users have given this book. First of all, let me make it clear that (obviously) everyone is entitled to their opinions; I'm not trying to say that anyone HAS to like this (or any) book. But if you are going to publicly critique it, it's only fair that you present the information accurately and comment on real shortcomings, not imagined ones.

A reader from Dallas states: "Use this book with great caution. If you want nightly habitual feedings, crying for response, and other stressful habits built into your child, use this book." That's pretty scary sounding, but let me present another scenario: My wife and I have let our child (now two years old) share the bed with us since he was born and it has been an unmitigated pleasure throughout. Except for rare occasions, he has always slept through the night, has never needed a bottle to get to bed, and has never shown any signs of being unusually "needy". Also, my wife did not have to get out of bed to breastfeed him when he was still feeding at night [Newsflash: Pretty much ALL babies feed during the night when they are very young infants - don't blame that on co-sleeping]. Now that my wife is pregnant again, we have transitioned him into his own room with absolutely no fuss. In contrast, my sister has never let her baby sleep in bed with her and the baby used to get up twice a night for a year and a half. The point is this: there is no right or wrong way, and there are no guarantees; babies are all very different, they're not little robots. We let our baby sleep with us because we LOVED it, and we will do it with our next one. The Sears state very clearly that you should do what you are comfortable with and that there is no right or wrong way. They just ask people to be OPEN to the idea of co-sleeping and to question those who so confidently state that it is wrong.

[By the way, those who condemn it have zero scientific evidence to support their claim. Think about it: Modern day humans have been around for 2.5 million years. For 99% of that time we have been foragers and hunter-gatherers. Do you think we would have survived if sleeping with your children was "wrong"? Foraging and hunting tribes don't carry around cribs with them.]

Anyway, my point is that the Sears definitely do NOT say that there is only one way to put your kid to sleep.

A reader from New York asks: "Will co-sleeping wane in popularity as parents tire of sleeping with twin 5 years olds and an 8 year old and word gets around on the difficulty of ever getting the children out of your bed?"

That's a good question. I have a few questions of my own. Have you ever tried it? Do you know for a fact that it is difficult to get kids out of bed and into their own beds? Do you think that the Sears really suggest that all of your kids should sleep in the parents' bed, regardless of age? Did you see the part in the book where they say that you should do what you are comfortable with and what makes the most sense to you?

The bottom line is that the authors clearly and refreshingly state that mothers and fathers know a lot more about raising their children than they are given credit for. Rather than telling prospective parents that YOU MUST sleep with your baby or YOU MUST breastfeed, the overall effect of their book is to say YOU CAN sleep with your baby regardless of what society tells you and YOU CAN breastfeed if you want to maximize your baby's health and the bond between mother and child. Of course, no one HAS to do anything, but it's nice to have alternative sources of information.

Thanks for listening.

What a relief!, October 20, 2000
To read a book that reinforces my instincts! I am only sorry I did not buy this book in the first few weeks of motherhood. I read books that gave all kinds of advice that just didn't seem right. I have never let my baby "cry it out" even though parents, in-laws, and grandparents have all at some point told me I'm spoiling my child. At five months old, she is happy, well adjusted, and easily falls asleep on her own. Mothers and fathers take note-attachment parenting works!! I can actually sense how much trust my baby has in me. This book will be especially helpful to parents of colicky babies. It replaces the feelings of frustration and helplessness with compassion and understanding. I read a few negative reviews from those who found the Dr. Sears to be extreme. Attachment parenting can be incorporated into every lifestyle. I'm a stay at home Mom, but I don't ALWAYS wear my baby in a sling. And though I slept with her for the first few months, she now sleeps in her crib, and takes a morning nap with me. It's just a matter of knowing your baby and following his/her cues rather than following some ridiculous formula that is supposed to work for all babies. Yes, the book almost always puts the baby first. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be? Every aspect of parenting should be cherished rather than looked upon as an inconvenience. For those who truly want to bond with their babies-this is the book for you! And just a note to new, first time moms: I spent many nights in the first few weeks crying right along with my colicky baby. So many well-meaning moms gave me advice. Because I was new at the whole thing, I always doubted myself. Was I ever going to have a happy baby? Was she ever going to sleep through the night? What was I doing wrong? Well, any mom who has practiced attachment parenting for a few months will tell you this. After a few weeks, when friends and family tell you you're holding the baby too much, you're spoiling the baby too much, you should let the baby "cry it out" instead of feeling unsure, you will laugh to yourself. Because you'll know inside. You'll know that the parents who are not wearing their babies, not holding their babies, not soothing their babies, not cuddling through the night with their babies, are really missing out on moments they'll never have again. That's when you'll know how wonderful attachment parenting is.

Great Ideas but PLEASE get other views as well, March 11, 2004
I started my pregnancy with the Dr. Sears pregnancy book and also read the breastfeeding book and I loved his natural, gentle approach to everything so I registered for The Baby Book. I devoured this book and loved everything I read. I felt so confident going into parenthood! Then I had my baby and I was shocked to find I was completely unprepared in some ways. I followed some dangerous advice about not supplementing her with formula while my milk was coming in and she ended up in the hospital dehydrated and with dangerously low blood sugar. The day we left the hospital I bought the American Academy of Pediatrics book "Caring for Your Baby and Young Child," and this is my new bible for illnesses in my baby. It is much more thorough, and I feel comfortable knowing this is what is reccomended by a community of professionals instead of one Dr with one philosophy. Another example, we tried the family bed until she was five months and we never let her cry for a second. At four months old she was fussy, clingy, and was sleeping less that ten hours a day. I finally broke down and bought "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." After some gentler approaches and limited crying it out she will only sleep through the night (12 hours) in her own bed because our moving wakes her, and she gets about 13-15 hours of sleep a day. She is happy every morning and much more playful and engaging, and our bond is even stronger. My point is that you really need to find your own approach to problem solving the ups and downs of parenthood, and this book will only present you with one method. I still practice attachment parenting, but I also respect my child's needs to sleep and to play on her own. I love Dr. Sears and Martha's loving approach to parenthood, but I have developed my own loving approach now thanks to the input I have gained from other professionals in the field.

Astounded by other reviews, December 13, 1999
I'm kind of surprised at some of the negative reviews of this book. Peole keep saying that co-sleeping and attachment parenting encourage undisciplined children, but if you read the follow-up book, "The Discipline Book," you'll see that's not necessarily the case. If a child knows she can trust you (through early experiences), she will be much less likely to have discipline problems later. Anyway, I got "The Discipline Book" before "The Baby Book" and was pleasantly surprised that it encourages setting limits APPROPRIATE TO THE CHILD and sees discipline as a continuum and not a one-time, spanking kind of thing. Their method of childrearing just seems totally natural to me, the kind of things mothers and fathers did for thousands of years before the medical establishment and society started butting in on childrearing. I think the book is a must for any new parent!

Excellent book. If buying just one baby book - this is it., June 10, 1999
I read through the other reviews. I am a full time working mom. I went back to work at 9 weeks. Because my child was MOSTLY bottle fed during her 3 week stay in the hospital after birth (She had meconium aspiration induced pneumonia), she ended up with nipple confusion. So i'd say she gets 50% breast milk and 50% formula. Yet, despite the fact that i'm a working mom who doesn't exclusively breastfeed, I did NOT find this book to be annoying or lacking in compassion. Sears paints one version of an ideal parenting style. I don't believe anyone has all the answers. We have to go by instinct, experience, and of course, solid sound advice. I follow attachment parenting as best I can under my particular circumstances, because my MOTHER did so. They didn't call it that in 1965, nor did they really advocate it - but she did it, and she continues to do it as my child's care provider during my work-day. I found Dr. sears's ideas to be a cold refreshing drink of water. He encouraged me to follow my instincts as a parent. So much of the literature that i've read has made me feel badly about things that instinctively seem *right* (co-sleeping, picking up baby whenever she cries, spending lots of time holding baby) and whenever I get into that funk, I pick up his book and I feel great. I think my sister brother and I are excellent products of attachment parenting. I hope my daughter feels that way about herself when she grows up!

FWIW - I am a full time working mom who partially breastfeeds, and who is an atheist. Yet I am able to read through this book and find common ground without finding Sears to be judgemental or lacking in compassion.

A Classic. Independent Free-Thinking Mind Required., June 25, 2002
There is not much that one can say that hasn't already been said. This book has stood the test of time; other know-it-all one-size-fits-all infant care books have not.

One observation that I have made is that you will not find this book promoted by popular baby stores such as "Babies R Us". Having visited many branches of such stores, I have never seen this book promoted in the book section. It dawned on me why. Dr. Sears' approach is decisively anti-consumerist. He strongly recommends breast feeding - nothing to buy here. He strongly recommends co-sleeping - no crib or sheets to buy. He recommends the use of a baby sling or baby carrier - OK, you can find such items at "Babies R Us", but this is meant as a replacement for a much more expensive stroller.

Bottom line: following the recommendations in this book means going against the grain set by product-dispensing corporations that are the center of a society centered around consumption. Read this book and think long and hard about what you believe and what you value in the role of a parent, and tune out all the noise around you including well-meaning family members.

We're completely "attached" to Attachment Parenting!!, April 5, 1999
As a 4th-time-around mom, my only regret about buying this book in 1993 was not buying hardcover--our copy is completely dog-eared and falling apart from use! Back then, as first-time parents, my husband and I happened upon the Sears' book and were so relieved to find a parenting guide which combined medical expertise with extensive personal experience and, on top of that, actually reinforced the use of our instincts as parents. It's extremely comprehensive and well-organized. We love the presentation of "the facts" balanced with the narrative/personal examples which Mrs. Sears has contributed. We are often complimented on how out-going, well-adjusted and secure our children appear to be. Time and again, we find ourselves giving a great deal of credit to "The Baby Book" for guiding our parenting choices. Reading the reviews on this book here, I found the majority of readers couldn't say enough wonderful things about it...so many "5 stars"!!! Then there were a few "1 stars." These people seemed very concerned with the supposed "guilt trip" Dr. and Mrs. Sears were unloading on them. I guess I just didn't see it...my husband and I have coined the term "convenience parenting" for those wishing to parent "the easy way" (ie. sleeping through the night at two months after birth, the "cry it out" philosophy and the very notion that a baby can actually be spoiled by too much attention!) Any way you look at it, parenting is NOT an easy venture, but at the same time is so incredibly important...maybe a little bit of well-placed guilt isn't such a bad thing. Granted, everyone's parenting situation is different. Because of this, there will never be a perfect parenting book...glean what you can from this one. So you can't do 24/7 "baby wearing" because you both work--have your child-care provider read that chapter!!...etc., etc. Take what the book says with a grain of salt and tailor it to your needs. At any rate, both my husband and I have gained a great deal from "The Baby Book." As a physician, he readily recommends it to his new-parent patients. And I buy it for every baby shower I attend. I would truly like to thank the Sears for all they have given us through this book...how wonderful it must be to have him as a pediatrician! Give this book a try...I doubt you will be sorry!

You'll use this book almost every day., September 25, 2002
689 pages that cover nearly everything you'll want to know in the first two years. I find myself looking things up constantly for a tidbit of information. I've found answers to simple questions like when to start my baby drinking from a cup to more complex issues like what solid foods to start with first and how to guage my baby's reactions to first foods.

This book certainly has an Attachment Parenting twist to nearly every topic, so it is best if you follow this type of parenting. (AP = following your baby's cues; sleeping close to your baby; carry your baby a lot; don't use rigid structure or sleep training.)

The book is easy on the eyes - broken up into readable chunks so you don't have to wade through pages of text like many baby books.

There are three "must have" books for the first two years - this book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution and The A to Z Medical Handbook. Get these three and you're covered for nearly everything.

Working mom takes Sears' advice with poise and maturity, July 9, 1999
This is my main reference for childcare and certainly heads and shoulders above useless crap like the What To Expect series. I rejected more from those books than I learned.

I think Dr. Sears' main point is that when parents listen to their instincts and treat their children lovingly you probably won't go wrong. Not all AP parents co-sleep or even breastfeed -- but all APers do their best to honor their children and work with them, not against them. As for medical differences -- including vaccinations -- you need many sources to make intelligent choices and he's simply following APA recommendations. I think dredging up the tired vaccination debate in this book would have made it too radical to make a difference in mainstream America.

I found his breastfeeding advice helpful and encouraging. As a formula-supplementer and working mom I don't feel offended by his pro-bf and SAHM statements. We all make our choices and there is no way one doctor can automatically see everyone's individual situations and soothe their consciences. It's our job as adults and parents to take the good advice and toss the rest with poise -- humans adapt.*duh*

For the record, I'm a working mom who breastfeeds, co-sleeps, doesn't let her babies cry it out and wears them in slings. Yes, I can be tired sometimes, but that is probably more of a function of new parenthood, not my parenting method. Besides, I'm in it for the long-haul -- I didn't become a parent just to cop out! PS -- the co-sleeping give you *more* sleep than cribbing, take it from someone who has done it both ways..

Also for the record -- there is less bottlefeeding information because there is less to say! Breastfeeding can be tricky business, which is probably why many moms end up bottlefeeding in the first place.

Working moms, bottlefeeders and cribbers can still get alot out of this book *if* they are comfortable with their choices and don't already feel guilty. I work, my daycare uses formula and I have put my kids in a crib and I still find this book very useful.

The message of compassionate parenting and servicable medical advice makes this a good choice for parents. Nothing is perfect -- if you want a parenting book to suit your exact opinion, write one yourself! ... Read more

Editorial Review

You are having a baby! Congratulations! Now the reality hits you: what the heck am I doing? What if you could bottle the wisdom of all those parents who've come before you and mix it with the solid medical advice from an nationally-renowned pediatrician? Baby 411 is the answer! Think of it as the ultimate FAQ for new parents.

Baby 411 hits today's hot-button issues head-on. Inside the revised and updated 3rd edition, you'll find info on: picking a pediatrician, with savvy questions to ask and insider tips; finding the best way to get your baby to sleep through the night; deciding what to do when baby gets sick, including when to worry and when not to; discovering secrets to soothing a fussy baby; breastfeeding your baby and introducing new, improved formulas and solid food, with detailed nutritional information and step-by-step guide. ... Read more

Reviews

Pediatrician recommended!, March 2, 2009
I am a pediatrician, and when I was pregnant with my daughter (my first) I was looking for a medical advice book for all those things they DON'T teach you in medical school. Also I like to read the books that my patients' parents are reading. I guess you could ask why a pediatrician would need to read an advice book.... and I will tell you that most of the parenting skills and ideas you need to survive everyday life with your child are not a part of medical training. This book is an excellent combination of the very latest medical evidence and practical parenting advice. I find myself turning to it each time we enter a new "phase" (sleeping training, introducing solids, etc.)

The book is not meant to be read cover to cover in one sitting, but I did read the entire book on a vacation to see if I agreed with Dr. Brown's medical advice. I find her approach to complex medical issues to be balanced and backed by scientific evidence which is lacking in many books.

Baby 411 is a modern-day "Dr. Spock" advice book that every parent should have on their shelf for middle of the night symptom searching and for everyday parenting questions.

My "go-to" book for minor baby health crises, September 21, 2007
This is my go-to book for basic health questions about my baby. Unlike a number of other baby books on my shelf, the information is presented in just enough detail to be helpful in a minor crisis (A whole chapter on poop and vomiting? Yay!) Most sections about common symptoms and illnesses are very reassuring, but contain a useful "Red Flags" list immediately following that lets you know when you need to push the speed-dial number for your pediatrician. I find the reference section really helpful, particularly when I don't feel the need to wake my pediatrician at 1A.M. to ask a basic question about medication or illness. The authors do express strong opinions about some controversial issues, like circumcision and vaccination, which will turn some readers off; and I've seen a few parents who susbscribe to the attachment-parenting theory complain that some of the behavioral advice (specifically regarding co-sleeping and sleep training) is harsh or closed-minded. If you have your own strong opinions about these issues, ignore these sections of the book--there's lots of other useful information here.

Excellent book, except form factor, April 4, 2009
This is a wonderful book for parents. It provides a lot of useful information to help put first time parents at ease. The sections on birth and the first few weeks of feeding helped us understand whether we were on track with quantities of breast milk.

The book continues with good information on hygine, pooping/peeing, vaccinations, and has become a frequently-accessed reference. Many sections are organized in a way that you can find information on your baby according to his/her current age, which is helpful.

I would give this book 5 stars except for one issue I consider significant - it's almost impossible to read while holding your baby! The book measures 10x5x1.5 inches, and if you try to keep it open with one hand, it slaps shut. And, it won't stay open by itself on a flat surface.

Ability to read the book while taking care of the baby would have been a huge plus.

Must Have Book for first time parents!!, July 18, 2008
I can't say enough good things about this book! It has helped me with so many questions since my son was born. I bought this book during pregnancy but didn't get around to reading it. Once I brought my baby home, I had a million questions and no time to read. The format of this book (Q&A style) made it possible to find the answers I needed quickly and with thorough but concise explanations. The authors are great at balancing info so that you feel assured and informed. As many other readers have said, I love that they give "red flags" so that you know when something is hands-down an emergency or time to call the doctor. This book is the only one my skeptical husband will read when he wants to find something out for the baby. If you buy only one baby book, make it this one. PS- Better than "Mother of All Baby Books"

Excellent, easily read advice and information, January 27, 2009
I am a new mom and an Emergency physician, and I bought this book after reading some other reviews on amazon. Well, I can't agree more with the positive reviews. This book is worded in simple and clear language and gives frank and detailed advice. After reading it cover to cover, ( I couldn't get enough), I thought, why didn't I think to get this before? So many of my patients ask these questions and I give the advice that is easily accessible for less than 20 dollars- in a book- while they are spending time and money to go to the ED to relieve their worries. I will definitely recommend this book to friends, family and patients.

Best baby guide out there!, December 11, 2007
I'm so glad that i had this as a reference guide when raising my first baby (now my toddler). It had the most information in the most condense format. It was wonderful to read through cover to cover and to also use just as a look-up reference when ear infections, bumps, illness, or diaper rashes cropped up. The authors are funny, sympathetic, informative, and realistic. They recognize that when they give the stock doctor's answer of "take your child to the pediatrian's office -- again", it's aggravating for parents b/c of all the co-pays and time involved, but they justify themselves. They guarantee that this book will pay for itself by saving you the co-pay of at least one doctor's visit, and it definitely did so for me. After seeing my daughter's diaper rash get progressively worse after airing it out, using Aquaphor, Balmex, and Triple paste, we looked it up and found she had a yeast infection type rash. OTC athlete's food ointment and (ta da!) no more rash. They saved me $25. I have the Baby 411 and the Toddler 411 and I just want to thank them again and again. The one wish I have is that they would detail their child development section more thoroughly since it is what EVERY parents seems to be most concerned about. I know I poured over it again and again.

Excellent advice for new parents!, May 5, 2008
I love this book. It's great for when we feel like we don't know what we're doing or what to expect. (We have 4 1/2 month old twin boys.) We often refer to this and even re-read sections. I purchased this copy as a gift for my cousin and his wife who are expecting their first baby next month.

Great for first-time parents!, August 22, 2007
This book is especially helpful for first time parents. The information is delivered in a clear and easy-to-understand format, with a little bit of humor thrown in. You almost feel like you are talking directly with the authors. Ever since this came out, I've made it a point to give the latest edition as a gift to new parents.

Informative, Well-Balanced, Straight to the Point, & Entertaining, June 3, 2008
I should have bought this book when I realized how incredible "Baby Bargains" was. I waited until my daughter was 4 months old before I bought this book and I wish that I had not waited so long. I will be giving this to everyone that I know that is expecting moving forward.

This is very well-written. There is a wide variety of information that is up-to-date and straight-forward. It offers balanced information on hot topics without getting caught up in emotion. Too often author's of baby books get caught up in the political hype. However, if you are ever in doubt with anything regarding your child- check with your pediatrician.

There is so much unnecessary "stuff" out there for new parents that it can be overwhelming. Marketers of baby items often times prey on the vulnerability of new parents. This author does not do that. In my opinion, the reviewers who thought that this author has a hidden agenda are clouded by their own agendas. This book offers parents easy to read information so that you can make the best decisions for you and your family.
This is a must have for any parent who wants straight forward advice. I can't wait to read the follow-up book.

Helpful for First Time Parents!, September 13, 2007
I received a promotional copy of this book for free from my OB/GYN's office while I was pregnant earlier this year. My husband and I have found it invaluable, especially for those first few weeks after bringing our first baby home! It is well written and easy to understand. We find ourselves referring to this book first when we have any questions, and have found that the baby's pediatrician has agreed with all the advice in here so far! Highly recommended and I'll be giving this as a gift at baby showers from now on. ... Read more

Editorial Review

The infant management concepts presented in this book have found favor with over two million parents and twice as many contented babies. On Becoming Babywise brings hope to the tired and bewildered parents looking for an alternative to sleepless nights and fussy babies. The Babywise Parent Directed Feeding concept has enough structure to bring security and order to your baby's world, yet enough flexibility to give mom freedom to respond to any need at any time. It teaches parents how to lovingly guide their baby's day rather than be guided or enslaved to the infant's unknown needs. The information contained within On Becoming Babywise is loaded with success. Comprehensive breast-feeding follow-up surveys spanning three countries, of mothers using the PDF method verify that as a result of the PDF concepts, 88% breast-feed, compared to the national average of only 54% (from the National Center for Health Statistics). Of these breast-feeding mothers, 80% of them breast-feed exclusively without a formula complement. And while 70% of our mothers are still breast-feeding after six months, the national average encourage to follow demand feeding without any guidelines is only 20%. The mean average time of breast-feeding for PDF moms is 33 1/2 weeks, well above the national average. Over 50% of PDF mothers extend their breast-feeding toward and well into the first year. Added to these statistics is another critical factor. The average breast-fed PDF baby sleeps continuously through night seven to eight hours between weeks seven and nine. Healthy sleep in infants is analogous to healthy growth and development. Find out for yourself why a world of parents and pediatricians utilize the concepts found in On Becoming Babywise. ... Read more

Reviews

Didn't work for us, September 18, 2007
I would like to respond to the reviewers that suggest those of us who disliked babywise didn't read it, or didn't apply its principles properly. I read, re-read and highlighted the book after a friend of mine recommended it. And for a solid month I faithfully attempted to place my newborn on the babywise schedule, but it just did not work for my son. For example, my son often awoke earlier from his nap than the schedule would allow. Sometimes he would wake crying, sometimes happy. If he was crying, I would allow him to cry because the book suggests if your baby awakes crying he did not get enough sleep. But, he never fell back asleep. So then I would feed him only to find he was starving. But how was I to know he was hungry...babwise never once discusses reading your baby's cues, only "mom, not baby, decides when nap begins, and mom, not baby, decides when nap ends." If he woke happy, then I really was in a bind. He would play awake in his crib (even if I didn't go to him) so now he was having activity before eating (a babywise no-no). But if I fed him, he would be fed before 2 � hours (another babywise no-no). I tried putting him to bed for naps earlier, because the book states that if your child awakes early he probably was overtired and needed less activity, but my son would still awake after 45-60 minutes. I was constantly stressed out.

After one month on babywise, my son was still not back to his birth weight. I quit using the system and my son started rapidly gaining weight. We both became happier. I can't say I disagree with the overall concepts of the book...promoting full feedings instead of snacking, frequent daytime feedings to help baby distinguish day from night, teaching a baby to fall asleep on his/her own, and the importance of sleep to both a baby and his/her parents. I just disagree with the presentation. Babywise assumes all babies fit into its schedule, and in truth, they just don't.

This is obviously a very controversial book. I do not think you have to have an MD/PhD after your name to know something about raising a baby, but the fact that the author has absolutely no medical/childcare background concerns me, especially when the concepts are so radically different from what most pediatricians/child psychologists recommend. Just because something works (i.e. gets you baby to sleep through the night), doesn't make it the best thing for your child.

As a side note, I never co-slept or wore my baby in a sling all day long (though I feel if this works for you and your baby then great...this just isn't my style of parenting). I definitely feel babies need parental guidance, but I think parents must take their baby's temperaments into account. Once I started reading other books, I learned how to better read my babies cues, and I no longer had to fight him to sleep, eat or stay awake. I used a combination of several other books (No Cry Sleep Solution, Sleep Lady's Gentle Guide and Baby Whisperer) and am happy to report I have a 9 month old who sleeps 11 hours per night and takes 2 good naps a day...oh and has been sleeping 10 hrs/night since 3 months of age. He is an absolute joy and everywhere I take him people comment on how happy and content he is...in church, restaurants and shopping. It can be done without babywise!

Somewhat Helpful But Too Controlling, June 5, 2008
I am a first-time mom of a now 6 month old baby, and I have read SEVERAL books including the No-Cry Sleep Solution, Baby Wise, The Happiest Baby on the Block, a wonderful little book called N.A.P.S., and parts of Ferber's book. Baby Wise was recommended to me by 3 very good friends. I read the book before my child was born and was ready to put him on a schedule at 3 weeks of age. That was my first mistake. I have come to realize over the past few months that it's easy to say that every baby is different, but the truth of the matter is that no one program could possibly work for every child. If it could, then there wouldn't be so many books and theories out there.

Baby Wise did not work for me. And yet without it, my son slept through the night at 2 months of age. I think I'm just lucky. I don't believe it's necessarily because of anything special that my husband and I did. I do think it might have had something to do with The Happiest Baby on the Block because that book led us to swaddle our baby which lengthened his nighttime sleep and naps dramatically. And yet we dropped swaddling at night at 2 months of age.

Here's my main issue with Baby Wise. It states ideas like "Mom, not baby, decides when the nap begins and when the nap ends." There's also a similar statement about Mom deciding how much comes out of the bottle, not the baby. At the time I didn't think much of it. Now when I think about those statements, it makes it sound like a power struggle between a parent and a baby. An infant does not have an agenda. He or she is not trying to manipulate the parents. That comes later. :-)

I was talking to a friend whose baby is due in 2 months. I told her that what I had truly learned in the past 6 months is that no one technique works for every baby and that what works for my baby one day may not work for him the next. I also told her that it is easier for me to adapt to my son than for him to adapt to me. And that part is tough because he doesn't nap well. And I've left him to cry, thinking I would try that idea that Mom decides when the nap ends. Whatever. I don't want my son sleeping from exhaustion due to screaming his head off for an hour or more. That's not Baby Kind.

The irony here is that I am very much a control freak. And this book is too controlling for me. It's too much, and I think it expects too much out of an innocent, helpless baby who has no agenda or the ability to manipulate. And guess what? He's a really happy baby, laughing and talking and still sleeping 11 hours at night. I hope every night that it lasts, but I imagine that one night soon, he might wake up. And I'll go to him because I'll know he needs me.

All of this said, I only have the one child. A routine and schedule is more than likely more necessary if you have more than one child. So I can see why friends recommended it. But to expect this rigid routine from a baby whose nervous system is still maturing is just expecting too much. Let your baby be a baby, and enjoy him or her through every stage, no matter how trying.

Bottom line...this book expects too much of a baby. There is a lesser-known book called N.A.P.S. that got me through a trying period of short naps, and like I said earlier, The Happiest Baby on the Block got me through the early weeks due to the swaddling. I also really love the theory that Karp promotes of the 1st 3 months of life basically being the 4th trimester. I think that's what he calls it anyway.

So you see, 2 books helped me along the way,and I'm sure I'll read more as the need arises. Just be realistic if you buy this book and expect your baby to be a baby, not a miniature adult.

Read it cover to cover, applied it, and sorry for it, February 1, 2009
There's already been a lot of feedback written about this book, so I will try to keep this brief. It was given to me by 2 different families who have wonderful, well-adjusted children, so I read it and very much took it to heart. I enthusastically recommended it to people even before I delivered because it sounded so wonderfully ideal for baby and parents.

Unfortunately, after much time exercising the advice with my daughter my circumstances forced me to face that it wasn't working for us. In fact, I believe that applying these principles greatly contributed to my difficulties nursing and my daughter's failure to thrive. (She lost weight the first 6 weeks and it took a few months to regain to her birth weight. Interestingly enough, the author even attributes his method to resolving this same issue in a demand-fed failure-to-thrive infant in one of the chapters! That's why I had a hard time just giving up his methods.)

(I think the author relies on his/his wife's experience too heavily and attempts to apply this to all mothers. The fact of the matter is, all women are different with regard to lactation and all babies are different in their skill/efficiency in stimulating lactation. I'm glad they did not have these issues. It's emotionally taxing and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.)

It took several months for me to completely abandon most if not all of the advice here and for our feeding and sleeping to find a healthy pattern for us. My daughter didn't sleep "through the night" for a very long time, but my priority had to become to feed her and see her grow. In fact very early on (10 months) I discovered that she awoke at night because she had to relieve herself. Understanding this made potty training incredibly efficient and we achieved some success with it very early. Now at age 2 she will wake some nights to use the bathroom and get back into bed. I don't mind the brief interruption to sleep. She's never had problems wetting the bed. I wonder if I had been so focused on uninterrupted sleep if I'd have noticed this pattern and been able to take advantage of it to teach her what that "sensation" is.

Ultimately I will admit that after fighting an uphill battle trying to apply the counsel here I reluctantly fell into a style more like that of the "demand-feeding, attachment parent" that the author criticizes continually throughout the book. I'm proud of that fact now. To become what I resisted for the good of my daughter and my family just shows me how empowering motherhood is and that my priorities can be right on the mark.

My daughter is as intelligent and well adjusted as the children I hoped/tried to model when I eagerly awaited the opportunity to apply the advice in this book. I guess there are several ways to be a good parent and this book is not necessarily a "silver bullet" for all readers. I'm glad it worked for them, but I respectfully disagree that this is the one and only way to be "Baby Wise".

I'm pregnant again and due in 3 weeks. This time I'm doing things very differently. Just for starters...I threw this book away.

Combined with commen sense, this is an amazing book!, May 2, 2008
I think some of the people who don't like this book have missed the point! The authors take pains to say that Parent Directed Feeding (PDF) should ONLY be used as a guideline.... they say that if your baby is hungry, feed them. They don't advocate that babies are left to "cry it out" although they do say there is no harm letting them cry for 10/15 minutes to see if they will re-settle (I lasted about 5 minutes!)
I devoured this book as a first time Mum, with no idea of how to start scheduling my little one. I used their method of Eat-Activity-Sleep as a guideline and it totally transformed my life. However, I didn't stress if we missed the odd nap or fed a little earlier or later. If you use this method as a framework to base your own instinct on, then you can get fabulous results. Our girl still wakes once in the night, but she's only 4 months old and that's fine by me! She is a totally happy little soul and I'm convinved that much of that has to do with the confidence that this book gave me!

This book was NOT for me, July 6, 2009
I read this book when my son was about 3 weeks old, and I was smitten by the easy prose and compelling evidence - a study done that put PDF (parent-directed feeding) against AP (attachment parenting). Our breastfeeding relationship was not developing well and I was a complete mess. The book seemed to offer so much common sense advice, and I certainly didn't want my child to be a needy, rambunctious brat. It seemed like if I went with AP instead of PDF, that's exactly what would happen.

In the ensuing weeks, I tried over and over again to put my son on the "flexible routine" put forth in Babywise. But I quickly realized that it would never work for us, and was just adding unneeded stress onto my life. I put it on the shelf and forgot about it until I came across some information on the internet about the history of Babywise. After reading through scores of testimonials involving malnourished babies, I thanked my lucky stars that I didn't push my son into the schedule. Listening to him cry for hours simply didn't work for me.

Through further research, I learned that I have a high-needs baby who needs (and loudly asks for) constant connection. It was hard for me to put aside all of the advice that I learned from Babywise - the use of props, nursing to sleep, feeding on cue, but I no longer felt guilty about responding to my child. Now at 4 months, my son is such a joy for me. I love coming home after work and nursing until he falls asleep. I love babbling and laughing with him as he takes breaks from nursing. And I love feeling 100% assured that by paying attention to my own instincts, I am doing the absolute best I can by my baby.

I could never, in good conscious, recommend this book to anyone because of the guilt I felt when I wasn't with the program, and because of the "all or nothing" attitude that is pervasive throughout the pages. Every child is different, and I'm sure that some thrive on this program, but mine did not and I'm glad I quit before it was too late.

Not for us!, August 25, 2007
I know plenty of people who have used Babywise with different degrees of success and it truly depends on mom and baby both. Personally, I was really turned off at the idea of 'forcing' my child to wait til 2 1/2 hours or 3 hours for a feeding. He needs to eat every 2 hours during the day, and I'm okay with doing that. He is less than two months old and sleeps by himself in his crib, falls asleep on his own (WITHOUT CRYING) for bedtime and naps, and sleeps through the night. If you read this book and feel uncomfortable with the concepts in it, then keep doing what you're doing. Demand-feeding (i.e. feeding your baby when he/she is hungry, not when the 'schedule' tells you it's okay) will not ruin your child. It's a BABY for goodness sakes! There is a different book - "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" that I recommend much more than Babywise.

My point is, this book will not 'work' for everyone. It certainly won't for us, and I'm thankful I had the insight to trust my instints before forcing my child on a schedule.

Ridiculous advice, especially if you have multiples, April 28, 2007
I have an idea. Let's stagger feedings for our multiples. Why didn't I think of this sooner? Right when Baby A is finished eating, Baby B wakes up. What perfect timing they have. And if Baby B wakes early, I'll just patiently explain to him or her that it is not his or her time to feed, so please wait until Baby A is finished. At which time, Baby B will patiently and quietly wait. Oh, and Baby A will finish eating and wait patiently -- not spitting up or having any other issues -- while Baby B is feeding.

Yeah, right! This book is a joke when giving advice for parents of multiples. You cannot force twins or triplets into a staggered feeding pattern. If it naturally happens for you, that's great. But many times both are awake at the same time and both are hungry. The author obviously never spent a day with twins. I would not recommend this book to parents of multiples. The advice is not even close to realistic; it's actually almost comical.

Don't be freaked out, August 7, 2008
I absolutely disagree with the comments telling you to throw BabyWise in the trash and that feeding on demand is the only way to stimulate an adequate milk supply, limiting and scheduling feedings is a sure path to a lowered milk supply, early weaning, and even failure-to-thrive in your baby.

Schedule feeding will not diminish your milk supply and schedule feeding is not the ONLY way to stimulate an adequate milk supply, the entire time you breastfeed. I do believe that it helps establish your milk supply, but you do not have to do it to maintain your milk supply. And if you read the book you would note that in the beginning they recommend feeding your baby whenever the baby wants in order to get your milk supply started and stimulate the baby's growth (for the first few weeks). Then you can, with your established milk supply happily set up a routine for you and your child. You have long consistent feedings that let your child take in what they need.

I cherished feeding times cause it was such a time of bonding and closeness. My children never failed to thrive, and never weaned early. I did use schedule feeding with my children and I had a more than adequate milk supply. I breastfed all for a full year, with scheduled feedings and never once had a problem with my milk supply. My doctor was even surprised at the amount of milk I produced. My children were happy, healthy and well-fed. Their bodies were able to regulate and their little digestive systems were not all out of whack from inconsistent meal times or meal sizes.

This is such a great point in this book that people seem to miss. If you feed your child at erratic times throughout the day, or just give them a nibble here and there then a full meal later...how in the world will their little bodies get regulated? It helps give their bodies a rhythm, and helps the child know what to expect. Once they wake up they know moms here and its time to eat, then they get to play and have fun and bond some more, then they get to take a good rest and mom can rest too, read a book, do some laundry, work, whatever she needs. Then the child can wake up again, knowing what's coming next. How does this not help establish closeness, dependency and love. The child will eventually sleep through the night because its body is in a rhythm all of ours falls into. Day and night, eat and sleep cycles. Do you not eat, sleep, and work, pretty close to the same time each day? Its human nature, we all do it and doctors tell us its good for us (try to go to bed around the same time every night...) This book is just giving you tools to help your baby establish the same kind of cycle.

And I loved the freedom it gave me when going out or planning activities. I would have a pretty good idea of when the children would wake up and what was going to happen throughout the day and I could plan accordingly. Instead of not knowing when they'd wake up or when I'd have to feed. I knew they were getting fed well, sleeping well and playing well. And yes, there were times this got knocked completely out of whack and my baby was hungry and crying 30 minutes after she just finished...nothing else was wrong, but she still showed signs of hunger so I fed her. Or she slept a little less/more, whatever. She is a little human, we are all not perfect and we all have good days, bad days, growth spurts, etc. Life happens and you have to be able to go with the flow. But these instances were few and far between, and they were not a big deal when they did happen.

You have to use good judgement. The book and author are not the parents and no one knows your child better than you. Don't get freaked out by people saying this book is DANGEROUS. Have a little bit of common sense and let your heart tell you what is best for you.

I can honestly say that the guidelines in this book worked wonders for me. My children are great sleepers and they wake up happy and content. Not all the time though, they still have their rough mornings...but who doesn't. This book will not make your child the perfect error free child...who wants that? But it helps you to establish routine, consistency and some peace of mind.

I have had atleast 15 families that are close to me use this book. Some followed the guidelines rigidly, some (like me) used what made sense and felt good for them and I do not know anyone in any of those families who does not emphatically recommend this book to other friends and family. Breastfeed or bottle feed, schedule feed or demand feed...whatever is best for you. But this book is not dangerous and if you are looking for some help or guidelines its a great option.

Felt like an infomercial for the book you already bought, February 19, 2009
Honestly, I got tired of reading persuasions ever other paragraph on why I should use the babywise method. I already bought the book--I spent the money and was attempting to use the advice, stop telling me how great it is!

That said, I read this book before my daughter was born and during her first and second week I got incredibly anxious because I could not get her started on the recommended routine. The book contradicts itself saying to wait for 2 weeks to think about the routine, and then says that you can begin the routine on Day One. After reading this book, I thought that because I could not get my daughter into the BabyWise routine our life would be chaotic and unmanageable. Just the opposite. Once I stopped worrying about how long she needed to sleep, how to get her to eat-play-sleep in that order, and how to follow every recommendation my daughter and I created her own routine that suites us both.

Additionally, while the theory is good, and I am sure works for some babies, the routine is close to impossible to continue if you have a child care provider or babysitter for when mom returns to work.

Schedule was helpful, but..., January 9, 2008
I first bought this book when I had my first child, almost 3 years ago. I had absolutely no idea what to do with this crying little newborn. I am grateful for the schedule laid out in the book, and used that basic schedule for my baby, and was greatly served by it. However, I cannot recommend this book, because it was so poorly and dogmatically written. For starters, there is no clear layout of the schedule for each age. I eventually just went through the book and compiled a list of guidelines for each age of what the schedule should be. After that, I threw the book out. This is because the authors are incredibly dogmatic about their scheduling system. As a new mom, this was most unhelpful (as is everyone who gives their opinion as if it is fact)! I began to feel like a horrible mother if I strayed from the schedule, and the book gives the impression that if you don't put your baby on a schedule, you are in fact a horrible parent. I would recommend borrowing this book from a friend or the library, writing out the basic schedule, and do not read anything besides the guidelines for scheduling! You would be wise to save yourself much guilt and fear! ... Read more

Editorial Review

Being a teenager is both wonderful and challenging. In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, author Sean Covey applies the timeless principles of the 7 Habits to teens and the tough issues and life-changing decisions they face. In an entertaining style, Covey provides a step-by-step guide to help teens improve self-image, build friendships, resist peer pressure, achieve their goals, get along with their parents, and much more. In addition, this book is stuffed with cartoons, clever ideas, great quotes, and incredible stories about real teens from all over the world. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens will engage teenagers unlike any other book.

An indispensable book for teens, as well as parents, grandparents, and any adult who influences young people, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens is destined to become the last word on surviving and thriving as a teen and beyond. ... Read more

Reviews

Teen Angst ?, March 13, 2000
At the ripe age of 23, I borrowed my 18 year old brother's copy of this book and was enthralled.I cant help but wonder what a difference this book would have made in my life if I had read it at age 14 and not ten years later. The layout of the book is fun and appeals to readers of any age. This makes it easier to read. One thing I have to say, is that this book is one of the most powerful positive thinking books on the market. Although it's aimed at teens, the values and tips can apply to anyone. I loved the little excercises which are still applicable. Sean's frankness on matters really inspired me. My favourite part of the book though is the real life stories he relates on how teenagers have overcome difficulties and still succeed in the end. A great read, highly recommended !

Highly Recommended, February 14, 2002
I keep having to buy copies of this book because I give them away to people I want to share the book with.

I found this book (at the age of 40-something) a little more reader friendly than Stephen Covey's book. I tell the teens I work with that Covey, Sr's book is a little more executive oriented and I had trouble connecting with it. This is easier to connect with and I don't find it preachy because Sean Covey so often tells stories on himself.

It's easy to peruse over and over again and to integrate little by little into your life. At least when my time management fails, I can name what I could have done better (put the big rocks in first). When I've spent the day dithering time away at some no-where project, I know I'm spending too much time in Q4. Little by little, it helps improve your life.

I guess I want to comment on the reviewer who thought Sean was trying to encourage reader to always be thinking of something nice to say (ie always kissing up to people). I don't feel Sean was trying to tell you not to be yourself, but well-placed, positive comments can sew wonderful seeds of cooperation and friendship. Externalize your positive thoughts by sharing them with people; it makes a difference.

Great book for teens, young adults and adults.

Great Book For Adults Too--Forget His Father's Book, October 1, 2000
What Sean has done here hopefully has taught his father a lesson or two about simplicity. I don't think "how to" books have to be so complicated and Sean Covey proves it with this wonderful book. It has the exact same message as Stephen Covey's book but is a lot more fun and relaxing to read. I recommend that all adults buy it instead of Stephen Covey's book, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Stephen Covey's wordy,proud and know it all writing style really got on my nerves. Sean's book on the other hand is humble, straight forward, simple, easy and fast to read. You get the point without having to read through a bunch of mental masturbation. I bought it for my teenage daughter and then ended up reading the whole book and buying another copy for another teenager. They both really liked it. My husband is a crisis counselor who works with teens. He has been using the ideas in Sean Covey's book for his "Rites of Passage" work with teens and has really gotten some great insights and practical tools for his workshops. I wish there were more books like this on the market. If your teen is resistent to reading the book then read it yourself. You'll find that it will still be helpful when guiding them or talking to them about the immense stress and issues facing them in today's highly chaotic society.

Love it or hate it... the choice is yours, October 16, 2005
After reading through the reviews on this website and others on different websites I've come to this conclusion- either people think that it was (1)a fantastic book which distilled sound advice and changed their lives for the better [5 stars] or, (2)a bunch of cliched, useless material exhorting teens to be mama's boy/ teacher's pet/ goody-two-shoes/ (name your case)[1 star]. If there are people out there who haven't read the book and are getting confused by all the conflicting, contradictory messages up on the web, I honestly don't blame them. Who wouldn't be?

I've read the book and all I can say is that the book does not deliver miracles from heaven that can brilliantly transform your life and make it oh-so-fabulous. It didn't promise that either, by the way.

What it does is to offer tried-and-tested, reliable advice, the kind that your mother or teacher would have given you. Call it rehashed common sense, but the cartoons and quotes make it easier to digest and not-so-painful to internalise. Yes it's naggy, yes it's authoritarian, yes it's condescending at some parts... I don't doubt that. The thing is that in the end, it's still well-intentioned, useful advice. It's perfectly okay to just pick out one chapter, or one quote etc. that means something to you and ditch the rest. Really. Or if you really think that none of it can help you in your life, then take it as a few hours of harmless entertainment, forget about the book and get on with your life. Case closed.

As for those who haven't read the book yet, give it a chance. You might just be able to pick up one or two things here and there which, when put into practice, may just make your life that little bit more sane and less messed-up. Best of luck to you.

7 Habits of Highly Effective Pre-Teens, January 8, 2006
I read this book in 7th grade at the age of 12, and I loved it. I thought it was very well-written and witty.
Now, as a 19 year old, I recently finished rereading this book just because I found it as I was cleaning out my bookshelf, and I have to say...it's not bad, but it's not that good. I think, perhaps, as the author was aiming for a lower age bracket, he accidentally aimed a little too low.
Here's my breakdown:

Pros:
- Book is much shorter than the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People yet still conveys the same ideas.
- The writing style is pretty straightforward.
- It offers a lot of examples from teens and a lot of illustrations.

Cons:
- Book becomes more and more condescending as it goes on.
- At some points, there are just too many examples, and many are rather impersonal--they don't offer the kind of detail that would make a reader actually care. Some of the examples even contradict the Habits.
- A lot of the illustrations are kind of lame (I remember thinking this back at the age of 12, as well). The charts are fine, but most of the cartoons on the side just aren't funny.
- The information in the book is all very intuitive.

I think I will read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to see how I feel about it. As for the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, I have to say...
1) Do not force a teen to read a self-help book. I've seen that in most of the negative comments, people were forced to read this book for a class in school. I think doing so even goes against the Habits. If you genuinely care about someone's problems, maybe read through the Habits yourself and practice them. Then, you might be able to get your little friend to play along. This book is not that inspiring, and anyone who is forced to read it will easily find a thousand things ridiculous about it.
2) Although the book's subject matter is intuitive, I agree that it is nice to be reminded of the right way to live your life and how to reach an "effective" life.
3) However...because of the book's pseudo-spunky and somewhat condescending style, I see it gaining more acceptance among people right on the brink of teenagedom than actual teens. Pre-teens will probably get more of a kick out of reading a book for teens, and they may not notice the condescending writing since society has yet to tell them that they deserve to be treated as adults. There are points where Covey talks about eating disorders and suicide, but, as far as I can remember, middle schoolers have already been well introduced to these topics.

Conclusion:
This is not a good book for the people it was meant to help, but it would be a very good book for a slightly younger age group. That way, you have a better chance of getting through to them before the pressures start to pile on.

A very interesting, and lifechanging book, April 23, 2001
I have personally read this book, and ( as a 13 year old), it has drasticly changed my life. There are passages in this book that told me things about myself I never knew. Like this " I'f who I am, is what I have, and what I have is lost, who am I ?" I no longer feal that money or impotance should matter in my life. I should live it accourding to my life, and not by the will of others.

Fabulous book!, August 17, 2000
This book is wonderful! If you have the perfect life you need not read it, but if you're life is far from perfect read on! The 7 Habits help you improve your life and help you succeed! It gives great tips and it's fun to read. Sean Covey makes you want to read more and there are sections where he encourages you to write in the book. I'm really glad I bought this book. You will be happy too. The funny cartoons and relaxed style of writing is so great. I let my friends borrow this book and they loved it too! It's a great buy for any teen from 12 to 19.

This is the very best guidence book in the world, December 12, 1999
With this book I don't know where to begin, everytime I feel my life not going in the direction I should be going or when I feel my self getting off track I just pick up this book and it gets me straight again. I love to read different self help books and motavational books, and I would have to say this is the easiest to read. This book contains many cool pictures and side quotes that make it clearer to understand. It starts with the chapter get into the habit and the quote for the chapter really sums things up when it says "We first make our habits then our habits make us." The next chapter is paradigms and principles. This chapter talks about the philosophy, "what you see is what you get". Another great chapter is begin with the end in mind which says it best when said "you need to have the blueprints before you build the house." The best parts of the book I feel is when it talks about making deposits in your personal bank account and to always think win-win in any situation. I would recomend this book to anyone and everyone that actually cares about what path in there future to take.

Saved me from a Bad path, March 24, 2008
I come from a horrible background, my family has no moral structure, they're either on drugs or selling drugs.

My freshmen year of high school was really hard for me, my moms drug use escalated and I felt trapped. I was about to give up and go towards the bad stuff my family did/does. I just wanted to be accepted, I was too weird for the normal kids, but not hardcore enough the kids that let me hang with them.

I had no support, and I felt like I couldn't reach out, after a suicide attempt, I was put into a leadership class and the Curriculum was the Seven habits of highly effective teens

This book helped me:
Over come my family (I moved out when I was 16)
Get better grades (I went from a 1.6-3.8 in one year and graduated with a 2.5)
It helped strengthen my moral goals (and give me some also)
and It helped me take care of myself

I am now 19 a freshmen in college and working towards becoming an abnormal Child Psychologist.

A few good teachers and this book saved me from a life of crime and drugs.

I feel like there are a lot kids out there that need this book, and a few good teachers.


P.s. I still have my copy from my freshmen year, all beat up and highlighted and I re-read it every so often to remind myself of all the awesome stuff in there.

This is it...a must read!, March 11, 2002
We all know what the meaning of teenage means. Late-night parties, cheating on tests, and sneaking into movie theatres. It's a golden age in our life when we can just wild out and simply have fun! I have to admit the person I am now, is quite a different character from what I was before I read the book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens". A bit like a mentor who taught me to see the light, I've learned to appreciate so much more in life. The book really reaches out and touches each person individually, and helps them find the best in themselves. Sean Covey has created 7 "habits" to help teenagers make the most out of their teenage life. Illustrated with funny cartoons, easy to read fonts, and simple language, not once was I ever bored when I read the book. Speakin from the heart, Covey brings back memories of his own personal past and shows us how we can change things before they actually happen. For example, he spends a chapter talking about the importance of being a good friend. After reading that chapter, I tried using some of the tips he mentioned into my real life senerio. And guess what? It really works! I've learned to become a much better listener, a better advice giver, and better at keeping secrets. All that was deprived from one chapter. I was just surprised to find out that a lot of the things he said related directly to me, therefore it made it really personal. If Covey was able to make a personal connection with me, I'm sure he can do so with everyone else. I speak as a teen to a teen; read it. This'll be the most memorable peice of writing you'll remember throughout your teenage career. ... Read more

Editorial Review

A traves de un formato epistolar, la Dra. Ana Maria Polo nos ofrece un dramatico retrato de vidas sin respuestas. Son los casos desesperados de quienes le escriben a la espera de un espacio en su programa o una solucion a sus problemas, pero cuyos relatos son demasiado explicitos, extraordinarios, o desgarradores para la pantalla televisiva. Cada uno recibe aqui la respuesta de la Dra. Polo. Una respuesta honesta, directa y a veces dura, pero siempre con el carino y la sensibilidad que caracteriza a la Dra. Ana Maria Polo. Estructura del libro: Prologo 21 cartas y respuestas. Para que no te pase a ti: indice de recursos legales. ... Read more

Reviews

Excellent!, November 20, 2010
I couldn't expect less from Dra. Polo. The book is great, very entertaining and certainly it is not a children's book so I don't know why other people are offended by its content. When promoting the book she says clearly that these are cases too graphic to be aired on TV, and they are. but I am a great fan of hers, I am only 22 and I would definitely recommend this book to anybody.

ic, December 11, 2010
What part of "cases that were too controversial to air on tv" do people not understand? Why would anyone be shocked? This book would obviously deal with strong topics which are controversial in nature. This is REALITY, not Mother Goose. Dr. Polo has always addressed her cases on tv in a tactful yet direct manner, always considering her show is aired on tv. The cases which were too graphic and could not be aired are related in this book. I thought it was excellent and was written in a profesional manner. This is not porn or sensationalistic. It is reality folks, deal with it.

Shocking!, December 1, 2010
Es una recopilacion de casos reales, en donde se despertara sentimientos de impotencia al leer la realidad de muchos y muchas personas que llegan a vivir lo imaginable.
Este libro se lo compre a mi madre, quies es una fanatica de "Caso Cerrado".
Por lo poco que llegue a leer, este es un libro que tiene que leerse con muy amplio criterio.
Es obvio que no es apto para la televion debido a su alto contexto en violencia y sexo.
A mi madre, quien es una fanatica de "Caso Cerrado", le parecio fuerte y algunas veces desagradable.
Es un libro detallado en su mayoria de veces, demasiado grafico y algunas veces sensacionalista diria yo, que puede provocar en el lector un grado de incomodidad.
Un libro de esta magnitud no se puede recomedar deliberadamente a cualquier persona. Tampoco lo recomendo como un regalo para alguien.

This book was more of the tv show. Not impress at all!, December 11, 2010
Querida Dra.Polo; Las Cartas secretas de 'Caso Cerrado'
Was not very impress, the book is almost the same themes that you see on tv. Most of the book was about lies,cheating and sex topics. I know it supposed to be cases that can't be seen or discuss on tv, but in the show you already see that. Please Dra. Polo, write a book with different law themes, like inmigration, living wills,domestic violence, etc., to help the people with questions in need for answers. No more sex or trashy subjects to make this world worse.

Cartas a Dra, Polo, November 18, 2010
This book should be rated R. The book was a gift for a senior citizen that admires Dra. Polo and never misses her show. She was so embarrassed to find out the contents were more of a pornographic nature. We can understand now why not too many details are given when the book is promoted. Somehow what she says on television does not sound as vulgar as when it is written on paper. ... Read more

Editorial Review

365 fun, creative activities to stimulate your toddler every day of the year.

This book contains 365 activities (one for each day of the year) for one-and-a-half to three-year-olds using things found around the home.It shows parents and day-care providers how to:

Editorial Review

Much like the waistlines of America, the aisles of your grocery store are straining under the weight of too much food. There are more than 40,000 products lining the shelves of your local supermarket, and with every product comes a whole new host of inflated label claims: “zero trans fat!” “Cholesterol free!” “Good source of 9 vitamins and minerals!” The problem is these claims are just as bogus as the hyped-up foods they’re trying to sell.

That’s where Eat This, Not That!Supermarket Survival Guide comes in. It’s your best weapon against the food industry’s effort to obfuscate the truth about the food it’s selling. Building on the popular approach of the Eat This, Not That! book series, co-authors Dave Zinczenko and Matt Goudling have scoured the aisles of the supermarkets of America, and in so doing they’ve discovered that two seemingly similar packages can house foods with vastly different nutritional profiles. They’ve also folded in all-new material that will help you pick the most nutrient-packed produce; the leanest, tastiest cuts of meat; and the least contaminated seafood at the fish counter. In this book you’ll also find:

• 11 Secrets the Food Industry Doesn’t Want You to Know
• 20 Worst Packaged Foods in America
• Answers to The 5 Most Important Questions About Organic Food
• The Ultimate Sandwich Selector
• The Snack Matrix
• The Food Additive Glossary
• And the extended chapter, Drink This, Not That!

Reviews

conflicting advice, February 1, 2010
I read the yellow and the orange books from the library. Glad I did before I decided to buy them. I have few problems with these books.
-Many of the items on the "eat this" this are still horribly bad for you.
-Some things on the "eat this" list in one book is on the "not that" list in another book.
-Many of the items they compare, I don't buy to begin with
-When I wrote items down to get at the grocery store I discovered the brand I was already buying was better than what they recommended.
-Some the items they recommend I have tried and they taste horrible. Apparently this is not taken into account.
-Some things are not explained or may not be even be true. Example, they recommended a certain brand of pasta but looking at the nutrition it was no better than any other pasta. Why is it better? Are companies paying these guys?
I give this an ok rating because it does have some good advice to consider and is a good starting place though the book is flawed. I recommend you get the book on loan, not buy it. And just go ahead in the store and compare the labels on the products you buy to others like it. And if you frequent a restaurant get the nutrition menu on the way out so next time you can pick the lesser of the evils that you still like.

Really useful information., June 1, 2009
This is a really useful book that has a lot of really good information in it. I find myself constantly referring to it whenever I'm about to go grocery shopping. It really helps to have a guide like to this to make healthy choices especially when it comes to "convenient" prepackaged foods. Another book I enjoyed is Goodbye, Fatty! Hello, Skinny! How I Lost Weight And Still Ate The Foods I Loved-Without Dieting. I read all sorts of books on calorie counting and weight loss and think anyting that informs or encourages is a benefit.

The nonfiction book of the year?, January 2, 2009
I know, that sounds like a wild claim. And I'm surprised I wrote it.

I own both of the previous Eat This Not That books (Thousands of Simple Food Swaps, For Kids!), so when I noticed this one was about to come out I decided to skip it. What more could it offer than what was already in the other two?

Then, tonight, I went shopping for food with my teenage daughter at Target. We spotted this in the little book section and, at her urging, picked it up and glanced through it.

What a great book! So helpful! So useful! Yes, if it keeps my husband healthy and my daughter enthused about nutrition, it gets my vote as best nonfiction book this year. I read about every day, and no book has struck me as a Must Buy as much as this one.

The reason? Since the book is entirely about food at supermarkets, every item on every page is something readily accessible to you. And since every item is captioned with its relevant nutritional information, it's like having the "Nutrition Facts" panel of every major item at your grocery store right there in your purse, in a little book that is so well designed and organized it is remarkably easy to use.

By comparison, the earlier titles had less detailed grocery sections, as well as lots of stuff about fast food chains and table-service franchise restaurants, material that is useful only if you frequent those particular places.

In this book, every page has valuable content for anyone who shops at a supermarket -- so much, in fact, it's tough to determine just what to highlight in this review. Every time I flip through the book I come across useful, surprising information. For example, right now I'll randomly open it a few times and learn why....

1) Fruit Loops are better for you than Apple Cinnamon Cheerios...

2) Regular Cheerios is a better choice than Smart Start...

3) Regular Quick 1 minute Quaker Oats is healthier than Quaker's Simple Harvest Multigrain hot cereal...

4) Dole pineapple cups are more nutritious than Dole mixed fruit cups...

5) Del Monte pear halves beat Del Monte sliced pears...

I could go on forever.

By the way, not all the pages are side-by-side product comparisons. One spread, titled "The Meat Matrix," compares the nutritional value of a variety of meats, everything from pork to ostrich. Another, "The Perfect Refrigerator," displays a perfectly stocked healthy fridge. My daughter was especially interested in a spread titled "The Snack Matrix," which shows which combination of snack items (fruit, peanut butter, cottage cheese) mix well together for both nutrition and taste. Another section discusses how to store fresh fruit and produce and explains why fresh food is better for you.

Until now, I have never used the phrase "book of the year" in any of my Amazon reviews. But this one, at least for nonfiction, just might live up to that claim.

Lots of good tips, May 25, 2009
I bought this book after I had gone through the first "Eat This Not That" book. Unlike its predecessor, Mr. Zinczenko goes much more in depth into all different kinds of food, rather than just focusing on what you should eat at different fast food restaurants. It was especially helpful in distinguishing what food labels really mean (whole grain vs. multi-grain, cage-free vs. free range, just for starters.) As well as clever comparisons, such as the nutritional value of different cuts of meat and which fruits and vegetables carry the most pesticides.

Unfortunately, the amount of information is also its downside. Unlike the first book, where there were short lists that are easy to remember (the foods you should eat every day, what to eat when you feel sick/tired/etc.) Mr. Zinczenko creates many different different categories, some of which may not be necessary (sweetened vs. unsweetend cereals, for example). This muddies the message with too much complexity and I often end up ignoring the finer points when actually doing my grocery shopping.

A very interesting, easy to read book. But plan on devoting some time to digest the wealth of information here.

Is this about product marketing or nutrition??, September 2, 2009
I have now read this entire series and while there is a great deal of interesting & valuable information, there is also a lot of conflicting information. Nowhere is their specific methodology for determining "Good" from "Bad" shown. And it's very strange to see 2 products with nutrition numbers very similar, one in the "EAT THIS" group with the other in the "Don't Eat That" group. And there comparisons about entire types of food that should be avoided completely if weight loss & nutrition are the concerns. Example: Frozen Pizza. There's no such thing as healthy frozen pizza.

Why can't they compare like to like. They don't compare the various types of Raisin Bran. They compare one brand of Raisin Bran to Cheerios. And cheese. They recommend Velveeta but call a brand of Provolone bad. As a rule, white cheeses (Swiss, Mozzarella, provolone, etc.)are almost always better choices than any yellow cheese (cheddar, American).

One has to wonder if this series of books is more about the marketing of processed food (which should be avoided entirely if at all possible) than about good nutritional advice. If weight loss & nutrition are concerns, you're better off just reading the labels and using fresh or homemade products whenever possible.

be cautious..., August 2, 2009
While overall, this book offers good insights into reducing calories, it may not always offer more nutritional alternatives. I noticed that many of the alternatives were actually higher in sodium. It is important to watch sodium as well as calories and fat intake, in order to combat heart disease.

I think we need to stress the need to eat simple foods. The less ingredients, the healthier a product is, generally. My advice: make things yourself, not from a box. Usually making from scratch is not more time consuming, it just requires thinking, because the only missing element is the instructions. The price for those instructions is a lot of unwanted additives. Day by day, we are hearing about how these additives are responsible for weight gain, and most of the health problems ailing our population.

A Lifesaver!, March 15, 2009
It's amazing how you can lose weight without even dieting simply by eating things you like. I thought I was eating right on a lot of foods. Simple things like yogurts and cereals that turned out to be so high in sugars and I would have never known had I not read this book. I have changed so many things and never even noticed a difference in the taste. I've bought this book for every family member. It is so worth it. It teaches you what the wording on packages "really" means and how not to get suckered into creative marketing ploys. This is a must have for everyone!

A very cool shopping guide!, January 1, 2009
The introduction places this delightful work in context (Page vii): "It can be a place of wonder and excitement. . . . But it can also be a place of great danger, where marketing ploys, and outright lies can rob you of your fitness, your health, your vitality. . . . I'm talking, of course, about the American supermarket."

To summarize: This is a book that helps readers shop smarter. It notes for different classes of food (from candy to snacks to cereals and on and on) the ones that are most and least damaging, in terms of calories, fat, and sodium. A brief one line analysis generally accompanies each set of data on each product.

Examples of this part of the book. For instance, pages 176-177 feature corn chips. The conclusion, if one chooses to get some corn chips, is to purchase and eat products like Snyder's of Hanover Multigrain (130 calories, 5 grams of fat [0 grams of saturated fat], 110 milligrams of sodium) and not those like Frito's Original Corn Chips (160 calories, 10 grams of fat [1.5 grams of saturated fat], and 160 mg of sodium). Or take frozen pizzas, if you must. Think in terms of buying Palermo's Primo Thin Margherita (260 calories, 12 grams of fat [5 grams of which is saturated], and 520 mg of sodium)--not DiGiorno's Traditional Crust Pepperoni (770 calories, 35 grams of fat [14 grams saturated], and 1430 mg of sodium). Some of the comparisons as those above are quite stunning, and suggest that doing some decision-making at the store can have nutritional consequences.

Some interesting features--Survival guide for supermarket tips (pages 2-9), including a depressing check of stated calories per serving on the package and what the book says are the real calories per serving. the 20 worst packaged foods for a person in the country (e.g., Haagen-Dazs chocolate peanut butter ice cream; the book suggests purchasing Edy's slow churned peanut butter cup ice cream instead), tips on which produce to purchase for nutritional kick, "making sense of meat," tips on snacking, and so on.

But, in the final analysis, it is the tips on which are the best and which the worst, in terms of nutrition, products in a variety of food categories. This book provides a nice service along those lines. I had thought that this would not be particularly useful when I ordered it (one look at the wild and wacky cover illustrates one reason for my pessimism), but I am happy to say that my doubts were not realized.

Indispensable Guide for the Health Minded Grocery Shopper, August 6, 2009
When I think about grocery shopping in the United States, I cannot help but recall the scene in the old movie Moscow On The Hudson when Robin Williams character is instructed to go shop for coffee in the local market. Having been used to rationing in the Soviet Union he has not been exposed to the variety of food product available to him in the United States. Overwhelmed he keeps saying "Coffee, coffee, coffee" then passes out not being able to make what appears to him a most complex decision at the time.
It is not too much unlike that grocery shopping in the United States today. You come into a supermarket bulging with products all very colorfully marketed making sometimes unfounded claims as to their health benefits. It is wise, therefore, to come armed with the knowledge that what one buys IS really healthy for them not something a marketer told them to get them to buy their goods. This IS the proverbial SUPERMARKET SURVIVAL GUIDE one should read before entering a store and keeping handy while still in the store.
The book starts with Chapter 1 "Getting to Know and Love the Supermarket." Within that chapter the author lists 11 Secrets the Food Industry Doesn't Want You to Know and the 20 Worst Packaged Foods in America. It is helpful to know, for starters, what kind of food one should consider junk before going on to food shopping for healthy products. Chapter 2 "The Produce Aisle" is simply lovely. It talks about Mastering the Produce Aisle then lists over 40 types of produce from how to pick the best (PERFECT PICK) to PEAK SEASON, how to preserve and store the produce item at home (HANDLE WITH CARE) and what is healthy about the item to begin with (THE PAYOFF). There is even a Salad Bar Survival Guide and a Your Organic Primer. Finally Chapter 3 "The Meat and Fish Counters" having to do with building a leaner body with fresh protein that really packs a punch. In this section the author includes a list of different kinds of fish, their Omega 3 count, protein grams, contaminant content and environmental friendliness. There is a similar chart entitled The Meat Matrix describing proten-to-fat ratio.
Chapter 4 "The Refrigerator" instructs on how best to use the book and then begins the EAT THIS, NOT THAT comparisons with Deli Meats. I love that these sections include photographs of food products all in full color. You are enabled to easily pick out what you want to buy this way. The author meticulously lists the calorie counts, fat grams and sodium contents of all products compared. In the Grains section he lists the grams of fiber included within the product. Chapter 5 "Pantry Staples" in the Pantry Label Decoder reminds you to read package labels.
Of course the author does not ignore the fact that many individuals have a sweet tooth and would like to indulge in products that do not leave them excessively guilt ridden. He addresses this in Chapter 6 "Snacks and Sweets" even to the point of listing what would be considered the lesser of two evils when buying Corn Chips, Potato Chips, Dips, Granola, Cookies, Snack Cakes, Candy and Chocolate.
Understanding that the modern day grocery shopper tends to indulge in frozen convenience foods the author addresses this in Chapter 7 "The Freezer Section". He advises on the healthier Ice Cream, Frozen Yogurt, Frozen Pasta, Frozen Fish, Frozen Beef and Chicken Entrees and Frozen Meatless Entrees/Meat Substitutes.
Chapter 8 warns to "Think Before You Drink" listing The Worse Beverages in the Supermarket even including a section on the healthier beer to drink and mixers to use in alcoholic beverages.
The book concludes with Chapter 9 "Your Save-Money Shopping Guide". (Who hasn't heard oftentimes the dieter complaining that eating healthy is just too expensive?)
All in all this is a GREAT book I would highly recommend to help one eat healthy keeping their weight under control, their cholesterol levels healthy and blood suger within normal limits. I remember a trainer telling someone who was having trouble losing weight by exercise alone that that was was only 30 % of the solution. Nutritious eating is vital and this book can help you immensely in that regard.

It's handy but more confusing than it has to be, January 13, 2009
I like the size of the book and how easy it is to take with me on trips to the store. However, I find the structure of the switches more confusing than necessary. It seems to me that each set of comparisons uses the same colors on the right and left to show similar switches. For me, this just makes for big splashes of colors on the page that doesn't really help much and forces me to pick through the text. I might as well do that on the product labels. My opinion is this book would be a much better help by grading each group of products on a consistent good to bad color scheme, like a spectrum from green to red. At a glance, I could then decide on a healthier but similar product, avoiding the shortcut of a more familiar and possibly less healthy product.

The text is informative with plenty of facts to help the reader take more control of their shopping trips, I just found the color scheme too dazzling and more of a hurdle to using the book as a quick reference shopping guide. So far, I've relegated this book to a home reference before and after a shopping trip, checking what I need in advance to try healthier brands then checking what few impulse items I get to see if there are healthier items to satisfy whatever craving I was indulging.

In hindsight, I probably should have looked at this book alongside similar books to make a better choice for me. Still a good book for the money and it has served its purpose of improving some of my food choices. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Reviews

Wonderful, easy-to-use ideas - but a missed opportunity, April 9, 2001
I found the "thinking words" vs. "fighting words" sections very helpful. Instead of "Stop yelling!" try "When your voice is as calm as mine, I'll be glad to talk with you." (works for whining too!) Once you've read this book, the "pearls" are easy to use later as a quick reference (about 50 issues including bossiness, getting ready for school, bedtime, teeth brushing, TV, temper tantrums and whining ). The first time I read the book a few years ago, I knew there were some great ideas, but I also felt like I was about to let my children initially experience too many logical consequences, and perhaps a drop in self-esteem. I think the book missed an opportunity to give parents an option to gradually implement their method of teaching responsibility by first acting as an emotional coach. A recently released book used in conjunction with this one was the answer I was looking for. If you have young children or think you may want to help coach your children first, try this book along with "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka (author of "Raising your Spirited Child"). The combination is powerful! I keep both books on hand for quick reference and my favorite ideas from them taped to my refrigerator.

The amazing power of choices, and other parenting tips, February 4, 2004
Basically, this book is about how to create a positive learning environment for our children, by giving them control of non-essential choices designed to be the desired outcome regardless of which choice they choose. It also provides some great insight into how to create a trusting and positive environment while teaching some positive habits.

My wife read this book first and I noticed an immediate change in how she reacted to our rather headstrong two-year old. Staying calm, and giving choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice? This instead of the battle on whether or not she was going to bed. We find ourselves laughing at some of the absurd choices we come up with, and it's harder than it appears to consistently think this way. What is easy to see is that it works, and works well. Some of our biggest battles over dressing, or going to bed, or eating dinner have become much easier and the "uh-oh" said calmly has stopped some poor behavior in its tracks!

While we both embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, this book gave some great insights on how to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behaviors.

I was not thrilled with the overall editing and layout of the book, as it jumped around a bit, and half-way through would say things like: This may not work for children under three! OK, this is information we could have used four chapters ago when the authors were making a point we were attempting to follow. That minor complaint notwithstanding, this is an excellent book and is highly recommended for all parents with young children.

I like the theory, NOT their execution, March 4, 2008
I borrowed this book from the library and have just finished reading part one. I will admit first that I am the product of what the authors call "helicopters," so some of the ideas in the book are unusual to me.

In general, I like the idea of natural consequences, enforcable choices, and encouraging children to think through their problems. I can see myself using these principles with my own daughter, but not always the way the authors do it. Some of the sample dialogues in the book are reasonable but many do not sound as genuine and empathetic as the authors imply.

Some of the examples in the book and in the "pearls" are making me very upset. In one case, a child has been neglecting her dog by not feeding it, so the mom just gives it away with no warning and without confronting the girl about it. The authors admit this is a really tough approach but that's how kids learn that unless you take care of your health and your animals serious illness or death can result. Now this sounds crazy to me. In our home, we think of pets as a family responsibility, so that might be one difference. Still, wouldn't it teach the girl more about empathy to sit her down and say "you can either come up with a schedule and feed the dog or we are giving it away, you have one week to improve." Why do these authors feel that giving someone a second chance is a bad thing? It seems this might teach her "if I don't fulfill my responsiblity, someone else will take care of it for me."

Another example is a mom who asked her son to do something and he mouths off and refuses. So the next day when he asks for a ride she says, yesterday you showed me that asking nicely can be ignored, so I'm not going to drive you to your activity, even though you asked nicely. Isn't that just being petty and/or spiteful? That's a great lesson for your kid.

A third example is a kid who blows his lunch money and allowance on a carnival and has no money for lunch at school. So he asks his dad if he can make a lunch from food in the fridge. The dad says, yes, but you have to pay for it because I already gave you money for lunch once. Really? Your kid offers to take responsibility to make his own lunch all week and you are going to charge him for it? I'd think remembering to make lunch everyday would teach him the lesson. I agree to not giving him more money, but charging for the food in the fridge sounds stingy - won't he learn that as part of the lesson too?

I think it is possible for kids to learn self-reliance with this method but some of the examples just sound like the kids would end up feeling like their parents are not willing to help them out without significant groveling. It sounds as though a Love and Logic parent is not supposed to give advice or help a kid work on the solution, or not until the child has time to ponder it and slink back to ask for help. I'm not advocating parents do the solving, just help, like talking it out with them or brainstorming. I thought helping others is an important value to teach our kids (not being doormats, being a sounding board to say "what do you think would happen if you used that solution?"). This seems to teach "I'm genuinely sorry you have a problem but it's still yours." Nice.

I just wonder if some of these examples I've listed would make the kid feel like their parents view them as impositions or that the parents really begrudge them something. I realize that how you do it depends on the age of the child, but some of this still seems pretty harsh the way the authors do it. In some cases I don't think that helping them is equal to bailing them out. The examples sound like the parent says "I know you will come up with a solution" and then they just walk away.

I greatly prefer How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and How to Listen so Kids Will Talk. It also emphasizes consequences and letting kids make choices and solve problems themselves but it shows you how to do this and keep talking with them at the same time. If Love and Logic is a turn-off for you, consider reading this other book before throwing out the consiquences/choices method entirely.

Parenting with Love & Logic, March 26, 2010
I add my name to the countless others who share my concern about where they feel the line should be drawn (or their lack of a line at all).

They lost me, and I expect countless others, at the example of the family allowing the animal to go hungry long enough that his ribs were showing. They do not step in when the child neglects the dog, expecting the child to be responsible for the dog. THEN after puppy has gotten so thin it's ribs are showing (not a fun period of time for our furry friend I'd imagine) the parent steps in to say the dog has gone to a "new home" They state that "We sometimes worry that this approach sounds too tough, taking a pet out of the home with the possibility it may never return". I don't see this as the primary problem! An animal is not fed to the point his ribs are showing in order to provide a teaching moment.

Interesting the book only a few pages prior states we should "tremble" at what parents' model.

Uh Oh! - Love and Logic modeling neglect, pets are disposable, and to add insult to injury the mom says it hurts her eyes to see the starvation and her ears to hear the cries of hunger. Really?! Don't know I want to teach my children that those who "suffer" the observation of neglect yet choose not to act are the ones who should have our compassion.

They have some good fundamental ideas but I am suspect of how far they go with their approach. I'm unwilling to allow my child to abuse or neglect another living creature and think I'm going to sleep well suffering the "consequences" of that.

I've seen reviews stating other concerns about lines that are drawn, or not draw and am happy to spare myself the frustration of reading those examples.

Stop enabling: Teach responsibility with love and logic, March 15, 2000
This book provides sound parenting philosophy and easy to use guidelines to apply it. As a teacher, it is clear to me which students have been raised with loving and logical parents. So many parents confuse love with protection. Parenting with love and logic means allowing your kids to make choices ... and sometimes mistakes. Some may object to the "Basic German Shepard" tactics or the idea that claims that spanking is sometimes alright. Use what you wish from the book. I have never spanked my child, nor do I order him around like a dog. To avoid a power struggle with my son who didn't want to put on his clothes or coat for a 5 minute ride home from my sister's house, I used Love and Logic principles. On a cold January evening in Michigan I carried him to the car in his underwear. Moments later, he said, "I'm cold." I simply kept driving and said, ... Perhaps next time you will make a different choice?" A natural instinct would be to cover him up and protect him from the cold. He was not injured in any way. By sticking to the principle, however, he learned two very important lessons: 1) mom is not kidding around, and 2) it's smart to wear your clothes and a coat. Since that evening, we have not struggled to get dressed. Try it!

Not suitable as an overarching parenting strategy, January 19, 2009
Many of the basic premises of this book are based in wisdom and truth. I agree with the authors that it is important for parents to raise responsible children; that it is critical for children to be allowed to learn from their mistakes; that parents should not rescue children from the consequences of their behavior; that children need the opportunity to practice decision-making in order to become responsible; that children must be presented with circumstances that cause them to reflect and internalize the choices they are making rather than have everything imposed on them externally. I also agree with the authors that parents' words are useless when not accompanied by parallel actions that demonstrate that what is said is meant, and that effective parents remain calm and not display frustration when addressing their kids.
All of these truths need to be built intentionally into effective parenting.

However, allowing children to experience natural consequences and learn from their own mistakes is simply one aspect of effective parenting. It is not the whole thing. This book advocates a comprehensive parenting philosophy built upon the effort to make all learning experiences relate to natural consequences. This is neither practical nor appropriate.

The authors assume, for instance, that basically any direct instruction from a parent to a child will be less effective than allowing the child to learn the information himself through experience. Children need parents to explain life to them, to help them unpack their mistakes, and to communicate clearly with them. Much of this can and should be done through direct, clear, respectful communication between child and parent. Direct communication does not have to be "lecture," as the authors presume and repeatedly state, and in fact, effective parenting requires the parent to learn fruitful communication methods with her child that is not in lecture-format.
The authors advocate to always "keep your mouth shut" when enforcing a consequence and "allow the consequences to do the teaching." In some cases this may be most effective, but in many cases, to avoid discussion of lessons being learned by the child is to rob him or her of the counsel that a child needs from her parent.

It is also unwise to assume that experience is always a sufficient teacher. Children lack the life experience and wisdom that parents have gained by their own decades of experience. While it is true that many lessons will need to be learned firsthand by children for them to fully `take,' it is also true that children can (and should) benefit enormously from hearing about and discussing the wisdom that parents have gained through their own life experiences. Children can receive wisdom from their parents, and it behooves parents not to assume that they can't hear it or won't want to.

Further, the authors state: "Allowing children to solve their own problems presumes an implicit, basic trust that their behavior will change as they learn from their experiences." While this is often true, it is not always true - and it is inappropriate for parents to believe that their child will gain wisdom and maturity only from being allowed to learn from their mistakes. Humans are flawed and fallen and often arrive at wrong conclusions as a result of their life experiences. Wise parents should not assume that experience alone will be a sufficient teacher.

It is also wrong to presume that allowing children to learn from their mistakes is always the most loving way to parent, as the authors state. ("Our intervention into our child's problems demonstrates a selfish love. We must rise up in a higher love - a love that shows itself in allowing our children to learn on their own.") Children need input from their parents, and oftentimes they need it to be explicit. Just because some may resist the input at the time it is rendered does not mean that to speak into their lives is unloving - or less loving than letting them learn the information themselves. Part of good parenting is teaching, and much of teaching is direct and candid - not hidden behind parental orchestration of choice-based events for the child.

One area that is wholly neglected by this book - and by advocating the consequence-based teaching method to the degree that these authors do - is the arena of authority and obedience. (It's interesting, for example, that while the authors start each chapter with a Bible passage, none of them are the classic New Testament verses on parenting that emphasize obedience such as Eph 6:1, Col 3:20, or 1 Tim 3:4). The parent-child relationship is predicated on the authority that the parent has over the child, and a wise parent will ensure that the child is taught, understands, and accepts the right role of the parent as the authority in his life that whom is expected to obey and respect. This goes against the grain children's natural desire to run and control their life, but it is critical for children to grasp and eventually accept the appropriate role of authority over them for them to succeed and thrive in society. The authors advocate parents' maintaining control but always allowing the child to believe they are in control - and in fact, a central goal advocated for parents by this book is to manipulate teaching situations so children always see themselves as in control.

This does a disservice to the child. Yes, children should be given choices, and yes, parents need to help them become independent and responsible through ensuring they have many opportunities to make decisions that have consequences. But children should also learn and come to respect the authority of their parents when it is directly applied. There is no space for this in the Love and Logic method. In fact, it is explicitly recommended against. To the authors, to directly exert authority or to employ discipline that is not consequence-based is always to be a `drill sergeant parent' - ordering their children around and rendering themselves ineffective.
Appropriately exerted authority, offered respectfully and in a balanced fashion, does not have to look like this, and actually should not look like this.

There is a balance. Parents do their children no favors when they build autonomy and independence in them at the expense of their learning to accept appropriate, respectful authority in their lives. Wise parents will teach their children to obey and respect them for their role as parents - indeed, children crave and appreciate the security that this creates in their world so long as it occurs appropriately and respectfully - while at the same fostering a willingness to accept and yield to appropriate authority from their parents.

This book serves to highlight the role of consequences to children's learning, and to their becoming responsible individuals. Some examples it provides illustrate ways that parents can effectively introduce consequences into children's lives (particularly effective for older children.) However, it takes one tenet of childrearing and tries to extend it to all of parenting, which is inappropriate and even, in some cases, is an abdication of true parenting responsibilities. Boundaries with Kids presents the majority of the same information in a manner that is much more balanced and doesn't over-extend its scope in the manner of this book.

Humane and realistic parenting with lots of love!, July 7, 1998
I have been reading parenting books for years. I read this book completely. As the adult child of an alcohol and drug councilor with 3 young children, I have taken great interest in therapy and communication techniques. I don't generally offer my opinion in reviews but I felt that this book should receive the credit that it is due. The focus of this book is to help your child to eventually become an unusually functional and mentally healthy adult. It makes a humorous, but truthful analogy of the learning patterns of very young (2 and under) children to that of dogs. It explains why, unlike a dog, children must begin to think for themselves and how to help them do that. It recognizes that some parents use corporal punishment, explains why this is sometimes effective and how to use it to the least detriment of the child, but over all discourages it and offers alternative methods of discipline. The book teaches how parents can assist instead of disrupting the child's natural process of learning. Permit a child the consequences of their own mistakes when they are young and they will learn not to make big, life changing mistakes when they are adults. Become a friend and respected confidant to your child whose opinion he respects. There are excellent, real life accounts of how to apply the techniques. Most teachers will recognize the authors names. The authors are well known and highly acclaimed in the educational field and have raised responsible, successful children themselves.

good but not entirely appropriate for non americans, July 27, 2002
i have just completed reading this book. It teaches a very good technique for parenting in which the parents let their child take responsibility of problems that are his/hers (keeping the room clean, whether or not to wear a coat outside etc). By making kids take responsibilty for their actions, parents make them more responsible in picking the right choices in life. This way parents also teach them problem solving and other important skills. The entire book is devoted to explaining this technique. The first few chapters are really valuable. I have tried the technique with my kids and they work.

One thing i didn't like about the book is that the enitre book is devoted to this same technique. The same point repeated and discussed! Also, at times one feels that making the kids always face consequences for themselves and always solve their problems themselves may be too harsh. On the other hand, maybe that is not what the authors intend to say. If it seems like the authors are carrying the point to limits, it may be because they wish to give many different situations in which their technique can be used. But it does sometime feel like the child's whole life is centered around being taught a lesson of taking care of his problems or face consequences that may be harsh.

Also, for non american parents or for people who belong to asian or other cultures, this may not be an entirely appropriate book. For example , as an Indian i would never dream of telling my mother that she needs to have my permission before disciplining my child. Or telling her something like this: "People get together on vacations either out of a sense of obligation and guilt or to have fun together. I'm wondering if you see our times together as fun".

As an Indian parent, in order to teach my kids consequences, i would also not bargain with them on the money that they will have to pay me from their allowance if they do not do xyz! Giving and taking money in family relationships is usually a no-no. In our culture, we grow up with our parents taking full care (monetary and otherwise) of us till we get married or find a job, and as adults we take care of them giving them unquestioned and unconditional love.

A year and counting, January 21, 2000
A year after our introduction to Love and Logic, my husband and I are firm believers. But I didn't start out that way. It seemed too easy, and at times, too harsh. I was reluctant to try what seemed to be pat answers to vexing parental challenges. But, after putting the principles into practice for a very short time, a little bit at a time, we saw an amazing improvement in our 6 year old son's behavior and self-esteem. Letting him experience the consequences of his actions while offering much love and empathy was a much better teacher than our lectures, tirades and punishments ever were. I would also suggest that parents of toddlers listen to the Cline/Fay tape: Toddlers, which applies the Love and Logic principles to that age group, and Parenting Teens with Love and Logic.

Many Workable Solutions for Raising Good Kids, August 28, 2003
Jim Fay believes that we must teach our children HOW to think, not just WHAT to think. I am a very "over-protective mom" and reading his book has encouraged me to stop making so many choices for my children. I am now better able to allow my child to fail and take ownership of the consequence that follows his actions without feeling so much guilt myself. Kids can definitely learn from their mistakes without losing their self-esteem. Although I do not agree nor use every strategy in this book (like "The German Shepard Technique"), I feel the Love and Logic philosophy has contributed positive change in the way we communicate with our children as well as to the degree of compliance we get from them. We like this book because there are many specific suggestions in the real life annecdotes demonstrating the exact words to try. We also recommend another book with quick-read suggestions for parents of 2, 3, 4, and 5-year-olds called 'The Pocket Parent.' This book is not written in paragraphs, but rather hundreds of short bullets of practical information. The philosophies of both authors are very similar--offering many sanity saving alternatives to yelling, bribing, threatening, critizing, and nagging that we often resort to at our wits' end.. Both books are helpful, humorous and worth keeping handy for when you need some quick advice or just some empathy on one of those really bad days when you think you are about to lose your mind! ... Read more

Editorial Review

Everything new parents need to know about the care (and feeding) of an infant, from the authors of What to Expect� When You're Expecting. Covers monthly growth and development, feeding for every age and stage, sleep strategies that really work.

Filled with the most practical tips (how to give a bath, decode your baby's crying, what to buy for baby, and when to return to work) and the most up-to-date medical advice (the latest on vaccines, vitamins, illnesses, SIDS, safety, and more).

Reassuring Answers to Hundreds of Questions:

• What's the best kind of car seat for my newborn?
• How do I know if my baby's getting enough to eat?
• How can I tell if my baby is really sick? When should I call the doctor?
• Should I sign my baby up for classes?
• Should I be worried that my baby isn't crawling yet?
• How do I cope with my colicky baby?

Reviews

I was suprised, May 24, 2003
I was suprised how much I liked this book, since I didn't like the What to Expect pregnancy guide. I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, with three sibilings I helped take care of and a I was a Red Cross certified babysitter for years. But, when I had my own baby, I realized how much I had forgotten or simply didn't know. What is the normal body temperature for an infant? How many times a day should he have a bowel movement or a wet diaper, and why is that something important to know to keep track of baby's health? When is it okay to begin feeding your baby rice cereal? When is it okay to start on solids? When can you begin giving him those "risk of allergy" foods, such as strawberries, nuts and wheat? I found this book a wonderful resource of imformation, since the doctor's office is not open at 3 a.m., but I'm up taking care of the baby, wondering these things.
There are some very sensitive childraising issues which they present in this book. One of which is breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding. This book presents a non-biased view of the reasons behind each choice. If you are bottlefeeding, it contains information on how to do it safely and with love. If you are breastfeeding, you will need more information than is presented here, and I suggest you read up on books specifically covering breastfeeding and join the la leche league for support and to answer your questions.
The other huge issue in this book, is laying your baby down to "cry it out" and training your baby to sleep through the night. If you are a supporter of the family bed, just ignore the information on sleeping through the night and make use of the rest of the advice in the book.
This book DOES NOT accuse your baby of being manipulative, or accuse you of spoiling your baby by picking him up and holding him. This book also does not demand that you put your baby on a rigid schedule to supress their little will. A matter of fact, the book states specifically that you cannot spoil a baby by holding them, and tells you that it is medically necessary for the baby to wake you up in the middle of the night to eat during the first three months of life. What the authors are talking about when they talk about "crying it out" is that, babies will cry because they are tired or overstimulated, in which case they NEED to just lay down for 10 to 15 minutes so that he/she can go to sleep. If you believe differently, fine. You should raise your baby how you believe is right, not how ANY book tells you to. But, dismissing this book in entirety means missing out on a very useful informative source.

Great Resource, July 16, 2001
First, I would like to tell that despite one objection I have against this book, I loved it and my husband loves it and we use it frequently.

This book will give you insight about various child-care issues (from first bath, through first feeding of solids, to the home safety issues parents of a baby need to be aware of), it will answer numerous questions new mothers have (sometimes even those you might be ashamed to ask because they seem like something you should know without asking), it will show you basics of baby CPR, help you decide when to call doctor (and how to select one). You will find there overview of basic baby illnesses as well as various recipes for your baby's newly found taste for solids. It will show you how to stimulate your baby's development and how to make the time you spend with your baby the "quality time". It will encourage you to hug and cuddle with your baby as well as gently teach your baby some basic behavioral lessons. The best thing is that it never makes a pressure (or guilt) on you as to which course of action to take when raising your baby; it leaves the decision up to you.

Readers should remember though, that they need to read the authors' notes about the book and they should also check on any information they disagree with (in any book, website, or flier) instead of blindly taking for granted everything that's on the paper. This would ease the frustration of many readers that doubted the worth of this book.

I've read the Sear's Baby Book that many readers liked so much, and I must say that it is not really reasonable to follow for a family with average income and average work-schedule. I tried to follow advice in Sear's book and only ended up exhausted, guilt-ridden (I could never do enough) with fussy baby. Then I switched to "What to expect..." and I'm still with this book. It's great resource. My only one objection about this book as well as explanation why some readers might not have enjoyed it too much follows.

My only dislike about this book is the opinion that breastfeeding should be stopped at nine months. Few years ago, APA recommended that mothers should try breastfeed at least one year. This book needs new reviewed edition that reflects this recommendation.

About people's comments: * First, realize that this book is not and can not be the "know-it-all-be-always-right" book about babies. The topic here is so broad that that you will for sure find yourself disagreeing on some items while liking other ones. Authors themselves say that there is not one "right" parenting style; you have to decide which parenting style you like and which one is therefore right for you. The style described in this book works for me great though -- I spend lots of time with my baby, but I still manage the household tasks and help my husband pay the bills with my part-time job.

*Second, read and remember authors' notes saying that babies develop in their own pace and the monthly-development guidelines are only approximate. I found this especially true. One big lesson parents get is that babies do new things when THEY are ready (gosh, it was hard to master concept though); you can help them, but at the end, it's them who decides that it's the right time. This book tries to teach you that. Therefore, do not get influenced by those readers that complain about the month-to-month develompment guidelines, they probably missed the note under those guidelines. Also, the books advises you to check with pediatrician when you are uncertain about your baby's development -- great advice that can save you lots of worries (and unfortunatelly, many baby books do not really try to work with pediatricians).

*Third, the question/answer format of references is great WHEN you use index in the back of the book (as is logical for book that offers such an amount of information about such wide topic). I easily found answer for most of my questions in this book and it saved me numerous trips to my doctor.

*Fourth, the "crying it out" concept is an option/suggestion from authors of the book. They do not say you have to do that, it is advice for somebody who is interested in opinion. If you are not interested in opinion, or if it frustrates you, do not read it and do not follow it. There can't be right answer for everyone. As authors mention, there are many parenting styles and almost none of them are wrong. It's up to you which one you choose. And whatever you choose, it's right. Many critical comments about this book failed to see this principle and failed to be tolerant to other people's parenting styles.

*Fifth, you should not taky any book as you exclusive source of information. Always talk to your pediatrition about your concerns, search the internet, talk to other mothers. Pick what you think is best. It may be something else than this or other book says, but hey, if you think it's the best, it probably is.

Overall, this book is great resource and I recommend it to everybody.

I like it, but it has some flaws, January 9, 2007
I absolutely hated What to Expect When You're Expecting. Hated it. So when a friend gave me this book as a gift when I was pregnant, I kind of put it to the side, never expecting to use it.

Well, I surprised myself. I actually refer to this book a lot in caring for my now almost-6-month-old son.

What I like about the book is that the questions that it addresses are very much like real-life questions people ask about their babies. Some of the questions are word-for-word questions my husband and I have asked each other. That makes the information very accessible and I think, reassuring. You get a sense that "Oh good, my five-month-old is not the only one in the world who seems to be coughing just to get my attention."

There's a really comprehensive amount of information about nearly every parenting topic you can think of. In particular, the section about infant illness is invaluable. Great charts of symptoms and treatments for those symptoms, explanations about how to do home treatments, etc. My son has gotten a couple of colds, one of which brought on a croupy cough, and the book's advice about steam treatments and a quick trip outside helping were right-on, and exactly what my mom and grandma had told me worked to help croup. Without the book's specific description of what croup and stridor sound like, and how to treat it, I probably would have ended up in the emergency room with my son.

That being said, here are the things I don't like about this book.
- The information is supposedly unbiased, but the author comes down firmly on the pro or con side of an issue and there's not a lot of doubt about what the author feels you "should" or "should not" do. The author is against pacifiers, against co-sleeping, is much too cautionary about babywearing, and advocates CIO as a way to get a baby to sleep - there's a whole section about how to do CIO in the six-month chapter. The book is also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding. I breastfeed, so it didn't "bother" me, per se, but if a mom has to or chooses to formula feed, the constant references to breastfeeding and questions about breastfeeding that are found over and over and OVER in the book's pages would probably be a big turnoff. There's some lip service paid to "well, formula feeding is an OK choice" but there's a VERY clear and VERY strong message that you should breastfeed until your child is a year old, period. I know a lot of women who tried valiantly to breastfeed and just could not, and I have had my own challenges with it. I am all for breastfeeding advocacy and I consider myself an advocate for breastfeeding, but the tone and the repeated admonishments to breastfeed for a year were over-the-top even for me.
- The aforementioned section about CIO was pretty terrible. There were no discussions about ways to avoid CIO other than extended family bedsharing (which the author was lukewarm about recommending, at best), and there is a middle ground between the two. There was also no discussion about the fact that CIO doesn't work for all children - some kids are crying escalators, they don't calm down after crying for an extended period but instead get more upset, and trying CIO with a baby like that is going to be traumatizing for all involved. There's a pretty terrifying section that talks about how to deal with the noise of CIO, by notifying your neighbors, trying to muffle sound, etc. I just have to say, if your baby is crying that loud, that piercingly, and that long when you try CIO, you should consider the possibility that CIO is not working and is actually scaring or harming your child. CIO is a great tool for some kids, but not for all kids, and the book treats CIO like it is the cure-all for sleep problems. You get a sense, reading that section, that there really is no alternative to CIO other than having your baby sleep with you until they're 10, and there are other options (the No Cry Sleep Solution has some great suggestions about the sleep issue). There's also no discussion of the idea that nightwaking, especially for breastfed babies, is a developmentally normal and appropriate thing and will get better with time even without resorting to sleep training measures.
- The developmental milestones are treated as gospel truth and there is some alarmist information about "if your kid doesn't do X by Y month there could be a BIG PROBLEM." There's no discussion about what developmental milestones really mean in terms of development or the idea that babies can have developmental strengths in one area and weaknesses in another. My baby has always been WAY ahead in his gross motor development and lagging in his fine motor, which is a totally normal thing. But there's really no allowance for that, or explanation for why that would happen, in this book.

Overall I think this book is good and I don't think it's nearly as guilt- or panic-inducing as the Expecting book, or the Sears Baby Book (which is a whole other review). I think it's a worthwhile addition to the library of any new parent, if you can take some of the information in it with a grain of salt.

There are much better books than this one., February 27, 2007
I wholeheartedly agree with the reviewers who found this book alarmist and overly one-sided on many issues. My pediatrician agrees, and instead recommends the American Academy of Pediatrics' CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD, REVISED EDITION, BIRTH TO AGE 5. What to Expect is a great book as long as your child does everything exactly as the authors prescribe. Otherwise, you're up a creek. Today's example: My 8-month-old isn't incredibly interested in finger foods yet, and this book makes it sound like she's doomed to eat Gerber purees for the rest of her life as a result. It also suggested that I was setting her up for a childhood of poor eating habits. A new mom, of course I called my pediatrician and he said I had nothing to worry about! Go with the other book instead. Rather than month-to-month guidelines which make you feel like your child is "behind" if he doesn't do something "on time," the AAP book wisely speaks about 4-7 month-olds, 8-12 month-olds, etc., at once. The authors recognize that every baby proceeds at her own pace. (What to Expect puts in its disclaimer that every baby is different, but its tone on many topics suggests otherwise).

Poor organization & dated material, May 22, 2000
This book, unfortunately, is not the same quality as "What to Expect when You're Expecting". The information is okay but it has not been thoroughly updated. (Example: the current breastfeeding recommendation is 12 months, but the book says 6 months.) Moreover, it uses the month-by-month organization that the previous "What to Expect" book did. The month-by-month organization does not work when following baby's development. There is too much variability. For example, some babies will start crawling by the 4th or 5th month. Mine was almost 8 months old before she started. Example #2: Solids are covered in the 4th month chapter, however, you can start as late as 6 months.

As a result, I had to consult several chapters to get all the information on a particular subject (sleeping problems, for example). Then I had to mark the pages so I could find it again later. Sometimes I could not find what I was looking for until after a lengthy search. (Let's see, would that be in the 2nd month or the 4th? Hmmm...not here...which chapter could it be?)

It wasn't long before I looked for a new baby book. I've found "The Baby Book" by Sears & Sears to be excellent. The information is well-organized, quite current, and quite thorough. It is organized more by subject than by month, but it still has a list of suggested milestones for each month. There's also plenty of suggestions and real-life examples as experienced by the Sears and by their patients. I use it all the time and I haven't gone back to the "What to Expect the First Year" book even once!

Mostly helpful--use some common sense!!!, August 9, 1999
Good Grief! After reading some of the other reviews of this book, you would think the authors are advocating child abuse or something. I just reviewed the section on diapers and I don't get where the reviewer is coming from who says the authors think cloth is the "worst thing you can do for your child." Looks to me like they are offering pros/cons of BOTH cloth and disposable (yes, disposables have some advantages!) and letting parents make an INFORMED decision. Yes, they discuss weaning from the breast at one year--guess what, some mothers are ready to wean by then and don't need a guilt trip for their choice! If you're not ready to wean by then, don't. Its that simple. I appreciated the way they gave BOTH sides of issues, acknowledging that every child/parent is different and what works for one may not work for another. Unlike Dr. Sears, who implies that if you let your child sleep in a crib, alone (gasp!) you must be a cold, unfeeling parent. Bottom line--take what you find useful from this book, ignore the rest. USE YOUR COMMON SENSE!!!!

Handy reference, October 26, 2003
This book has great monthly "what to expect" lists that tell you what most babies at that age are doing, or learning. It covers the typical issues for a certain month of age and gives lots of tips. The index is complete so you can find what you're looking for. One warning! If you are a breastfeeding, co-sleeping, slinging type of family you'll need to read this with caution as much of the advice is not supportive of these things. I'd recommend you also look at Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley for a more supportive read in these areas.

Invaluable Reference Book, November 17, 1998
I too was absolutely flabbergasted at the number of people (or is it one person posting several times?) who dismissed this 800 page encyclopedia because of two small and unimportant sections on breast-feeding and "cry-it-out." You're not going to agree with everything in here. But the authors never intend that. Instead, they offer an invaluable reference book for parents. Want to know what that red blotch on your kid's arm is? This is the only book that will tell you. (It's probably a strawberry birthmark, very common, rarely lasts beyond age 10, etc.) The Q&A style is great, it leaves you feeling that you're not the only one who has these questions. And 99% of the book's content is pretty straightforward (why is my baby fascinated by mirrors? why are her eyes that weird bluish-brown color?)We found the authors' pregnancy book invaluable for the same reason-- it was a bit too treacly about pregnancy (e.g. "If you're feeling nauseous knit a sweater") but provided a wonderful, factual guide to what was going on with both fetus and mother.Parenting is 99% instinct. You can't rely on a book to tell you WHAT to do. This book is great in that it explains WHY things are happening.We find the Sears to be unrealistic and believe that people who fanatically follow their advice run the risk of losing any sense of self, which is way more harmful than the occasional bottle of formula, since babies rarely thrive with parents who resent them.A good supplement to this book (What to Expect) is Vicki Iovine's "Girlfriend's Guide To The First Year." It's hilarious and guaranteed to make you feel that you're a pretty good parent after all.Use this book to answer all the "why" questions you have. It'll cut down on the number of calls you make to the pediatrician (or at the very least make you feel a little more knowledgeable when you do.)

A Great Reference Guide.. give it a chance, January 28, 2000
A very good book for quick reference. It seems like every question that my husband and I have had, has been found pretty quickly in the book. A lot of the following give terrible reviews especially when it comes to breastfeeding. I certainly don't agree with them. I breastfed my first for 1 year and I'm planning on breastfeeding by 10 1/2 month old for another couple of months. Believe me, I agree whole-heartedly that breastfeeding is the absolute best for your baby, and I did not find this book opposed to it at all. Don't read this book from cover to cover while your pregnant.. it will scare you.. but read it month by month as your baby grows. Or, just get it off the shelf when a question comes up.. you're sure to find the answer. This book is not a bible, but it sure is a helpful guide. I would highly recommend it for any new mother! Have fun and welcome to the most precious honor ever to be given.. motherhood!

Buy the Sears' book instead, February 2, 2000
I really didn't like the parts in this book about baby carriers, crying it out and co sleeping. Some of the medical advice conflicts what is given in other books written by doctors. I also found this with "What to Expect when You're Expecting." The Q&A format was not easy for me to follow at all. There is some good stuff in this book but after reading their comments about the above things, I wondered whether their advice was accurate or not. ... Read more

Editorial Review

Wow! A baby book that actually answers the big question about having a baby: How am I going to afford all this?

With the average cost of a baby topping $7000 for just the first year alone, you need creative solutions and innovative ideas to navigate the consumer maze that confronts all parents-to-be. Baby Bargains is the answer! Inside, you'll discover:

• The best WEB SITES that offer the biggest discounts!
• NAME BRAND REVIEWS of car seats, bedding, strollers, high chairs, diapers and more!
• FIVE wastes of money with baby clothes and the best outlet bargains.
• NINE tips to saving money on cribs, plus in-depth reviews of crib brands.
• THE TRUTH ABOUT STROLLERS--and which brands work best in the real world.
• The SEVEN MOST RIDICULOUS BABY PRODUCTS.
• Dozens of safety tips to affordably baby proof your home.
• DETAILED CHARTS that compare brands of cribs, strollers, car seats and more!

Reviews

A better resource than the Consumer Reports version., August 28, 2000
Put this one in the "I shoulda payed attention" category. I noted, while checking the reviews to the Consumer Reports book "Guide to Baby Products," that the Fields' book was clearly given the nod as the better book. Still, I've been a Consumer Reports subscriber for many years, and I reasoned that "Guide to Baby Products" must surely have information that "Baby Bargains" lacked. So, I bought both of them. My advice? Those other reviewers were right. "Baby Bargains" is as least as complete in its evaluations of products, and it's a much better source of background information. To boot, it's warmer in tone, funny, and a more enjoyable read all around. Buy "Baby Bargains" and skip CU's book.

seasoned mom rethinks opinion on book, April 13, 2003
If I had reviewed this book during my pregnancy (as it appears many do), I would have given it 5 stars. The book was helpful in providing reviews of many products. When I was doing my pre-baby purchasing, this book was my "bible". I recommended it to several others.

However, post-baby, I found that many of the products even the authors said I "needed" were a big waste of money. I also strongly disagreed with them on a number of products, and ended up giving away or returning several highly-recommended products in exchange for others. Most of the book seems to be their opinion, and doesn't jive well with many seasoned parents that I know.

Furthermore, their tips for saving money are mainly common sense, or impractical. For instance, to save on maternity
clothes, they recommend getting ONE outfit with a skirt, pair of pants, and top, and switching them around... don't think most of us need a book for that.

If I had it to do over, I would buy a car seat, clothes, diapers, some baby wash , bassinet...and wait to see what else I'd really need and want til after baby was born. This book tends to promote unnecessary consumerism to vulnerable first-time parents.

Great Bargains & Reviews, but read carefully!, December 17, 1999
It will be my baby shower gift from now on! This book is EXCELLENT - great for 1st time parents or parents who want to buy the best stuff at the best price. It's also useful for ensuring good baby gifts, especially baby clothes. People who don't have babies buy all the wrong clothes - no easy diaper access, snaps in back & not front, etc. So be sure to share the baby clothes tips!

Some readers complain that a lot of the recommended brands are pricey - like Peg Perego strollers. True, but you need to read ALL the recommendations. Peg Perego is said to be the best stroller. However, the text notes that only city-dwellers really need a stroller this light and durable. For suburbanites, the 4-in-1 travel system from Century is recommended, and it is cheaper than Peg Perego. I have a 4-in-1 Century Travel System, and I'm very happy with it. I bought it based on Baby Bargains' recommendation. Sometimes the book is wordy or confusing but this is a minor complaint. Read and reread this book - there's alot of info here - too much to memorize. Take it with you on shopping trips for quick reference! And be sure to check their website for updates!

The Bargain Hunter's Treasure!, January 20, 2000
Every new parent can relate to the huge money drain that comes with a new infant. We want our children to have the best, and it just seems the list of must-haves is never-ending. Many of us choose to do without certain items or find them second-hand, but there are certain things, like car seats, that are often better to have new. Thus the dilemma: how to find new items at the cheapest prices. Furthermore, how does one choose between the multitude of companies, brands, and styles of endless baby stuff? Baby Bargains to the rescue! This book is about "how to save money and still buy the best." If you're looking for a detailed comparison of brands and how they rank up, you`ll love poring over the chapters that range from Nursery Necessities to Maternity and Nursing Clothes to Catalogs, The `Net, Child Care and more. They also include lots of up-to-date safety info, "email from the real world" (letters from parents-they interviewed over 1000!), and they even tell you where to find specialty items like African-American bedding, affordable art prints for baby's room and rental baby equipment when you're on vacation. On top of all this, they include Smart Shopper Tips, a Phone/Web Site Directory, and they have a web site of their own

Great Info, Few Savings, December 2, 1999
This book was wonderful. I feel like I'll be spending more than I would have, but I'll be spending it for quality and safety. To their credit, the authors helped me sort through an endless sea of products and narrow my choices considerably. They also provide an invaluable list of business names, phone numbers, and web addresses. Though I agree with the review that stated guilty feelings over not going with the best recommendations in the book, you have to make decisions based on your budget. This book will give you the information on safety, quality, convenience, and price that will help you make well-informed decisions. Hey, maybe you can't always buy the very best in style and quality, but wouldn't you want to know that spending $25 more bucks on crib B instead of buying crib A might save your baby's life? I know now, and I'm not guessing when I walk into stores. Are you? So the title of the book isn't the most accurate, but who cares? I saved a few bucks in not buying cutesy things that I don't need that I once thought I did, but, more importantly, I learned a lot. I recommend that everyone expecting a baby buy this book. In fact, in a couple of years, when I hope to have another baby, I'll be buying the new edition.

Invaluable for a first-time parent, December 12, 1999
Being a new parent is exciting, and preparing for the arrival of the baby can be very confusing. My first visit to one of the enormous baby stores left me overwhelmed by the array of products. Asking other parents what to buy only helped nominally since we got conflicting information based on individual biases. We looked at the Consumer Reports guide at the local bookstore and were very disappointed by it as it did not review individual products. Baby Bargains did in fact save us a lot of money. For example, based upon its recommendation we decided to give it a go without buying a changing table. We have found that by using a waterproof pad under the baby and arranging the room for easy access to changing supplies we have no need for one, which saved us $170.00. We also found the stroller reviews VERY helpful as both of us are 6' or over-it was important to us to have a stroller that would be comfortable for tall people. The ratings helped us find the only travel system combination that was rated highly for convenience and portability as well as having an expanding stroller bar. Previous trips to the superstore had left us confused by the huge array of strollers and staff that were unable to explain features or differences."Where to buy" information also helped save us money since prior to becoming pregnant we never paid attention to who stocked what in baby products or who manufactured 100% cotton baby clothes. I also never paid attention to maternity wear to know that Target stocks inexpensive cotton basics, which saved us a lot of money over maternity store pricing. They did the comparison shopping for us, and sometimes information on who manufactured and/or stocked the best products was surprising. Overall the book was well worth the small amount of money we paid since it saved us much more. I do agree with one of the reviewers below in that sometimes what was most highly recommended was more expensive. However, the ratings always gave information that helped us make an informed decision if we did spend more money. We opted for a more expensive crib based on the information regarding who used solid wood but saved money by avoiding double drop sides, a feature that the book pointed out was redundant if your crib was going to be against a wall. Great book for making the informed decision and should save you at least the cost of the book purchase...if it doesn't they will refund your money so you really have nothing to lose!

A Must Have For First-Time Parents!, June 27, 2001
Before you ever set foot in Babies 'R Us, you must read this book! The first trip I took to the baby mega-store was an overwhelming experience with too many options that left me without a clue as to how to begin. (There were tons of different types of baby gear and garb, and each item had multiple brands with multiple styles and costs.) The bottom line is that I had no frame of reference to know what I needed, when I needed it or how to make an informed decision.

Thankfully, a friend recommended Baby Bargains - and luckily it was before I had purchased anything. Baby Bargains breaks information into digestible categories - covering everything from cribs and strollers to diapers and clothing. It provides overviews of brands, product features, prices and even makes ratings as to what they consider the GOOD, BETTER, and BEST from each category.

In addition, it tells you what items you absolutely NEED, what things are nice to have and what items you shouldn't bother with. Not only does it explain what "layette" means to all the novices, but it makes recommendations on the appropriate quantity of blankets, sleepers and such to get you started.

Finally, it provides various resources for finding the products you want and for finding deals. I found baby bedding online at a much lower cost than in stores and even got free shipping.

Talk to friends with kids, but also get this book and take it with you while you shop!

I have given > 10 copies of the Baby Bargain book away..., December 30, 2002
I love giving copies of books I enjoy away, in hope that others will share what I've gain from them. For example, over the years, I have given many copies of "Life's Little Instructions" book. But when it comes to practical books that one can use, I think the Baby Bargain book is my favorite. I enjoyed the book so much that over the past 3 years I've given more than 10 copies of the books away to my co-workers, friends and family who are expecting babies, and every feedback I've received has been the same - it's awesome!

My daughter just turned 3, but before she was born, we were clueless about what to get. Whenever we go into a Babies R Us, we feel lost because of the vast choices available. We decided that we need a book that will guide us through the baby products maze like what the excellent "What to Expect" book did with my wife's pregnancy.

The Baby Bargain book had helped me, as well as 10 of my closed friends and family, through the exciting period of expecting our new babies, preparing the nursery, buying the clothes baby will need when he/she comes out of the hospital, diapers, baby monitors, clothes, and everything else that may (and WILL) be needed. After reading each section of the book, walking into Babies R Us is no longer a daunting task, because I know exactly what to look for.

I compared many baby product books, including the Consumer Reports book, and I must say that the Baby Bargain book won hands-down. However, you must know what it is and what it isn't. This book is more about what to get and what not to, as opposed to where to get them or who has the lowest prices. In today's almost friction-less economy, price shopping is as simple as hopping online. It's difficult to put anything pricing information in print without being outdated as soon as the book is published.

The amazing thing about this book, I found, is that it makes a very interest read for men and women alike. I have a friend who read the book I gave him, cover to cover, on a 5-hour flight from east to the west coast.

While I can't buy a book for each of you reading this review, I highly recommend that you purchase this book and read it for yourself. I promise that it's going to be one of the most rewarding and exciting books you'll ever read.

By the way, congradulation on the new addition to your family, and remember, your life will never be the same again.

Saved us a ton of money! Buy it for your expectant friends., July 3, 1999
I can't say enough good things about this book. For my wife and I, it was like having a super-savvy friend walking with us up and down the aisles of "Babies-R-Us" and all the other stores that can overwhelm first-time parents. The Fields' do a great job telling you about items that will be almost certain WASTES of money -- I had no clue. So often people get caught up in the purchasing/registering frenzy that they don't really think through what they will really need when the little one comes. This book helped us to avoid some costly miscalculations.

The authors' reviews of the big-ticket items -- cribs, strollers, high-chairs, etc. are all indispensible and frankly, they beat the plastic pants off Consumer Reports' Baby Guide. This book will always hold a hallowed place in our home for the wisdom it gave us dummies as we headed in to the $$$baby-zone$$$. It turned out not to be so expensive after all. Thanks Alan and Denise! Highly highly recommended.

New 5th Edition about to be released (April 7th), March 19, 2003
I was about to buy this book (as it comes highly recommended), but discovered from their website (windsorpeak.com/babybargains/default.html) that the new edition will be out in 2 and a half weeks. The book is only updated every 2 years and the new edition adds 70 new pages. If you can wait, I'd recommend it. ... Read more